Dispatches From The Big Jim Rennie Media War

Stay The Course - 30 Second Radio

ANNCR: There's no question that our lives haven't been the same since the Dome descended on Chester's Mill.

SFX: Whoosh.

ANNCR: But given everything that's changed, it's important to remember that some things stay the same: things like the stalwart leadership of our Selectman, "Big" Jim Rennie. Big Jim took on the job of de facto mayor of our town when as far as anyone really knows, no one else wanted it. He has mostly kept our streets safe, and he has a plan to secure our water supply even as it's threatened by domestic terrorists.

MUSIC: Up and under.

ANNCR: So let's all line up behind Big Jim: what's best for him is probably best for you. Learn more about Big Jim's plan for our town at the diner; he's there a lot.

BIG JIM: Chester's Mill, I'll fight for you today without any thought of tomorrow -- because who knows how many tomorrows we even have left? I'm Big Jim Rennie and I approve this message.

Water, Water Nowhere - 30 Second Radio

MUSIC: Sinister minor-key chord up and under.

ANNCR: Chester's Mill is getting thirsty.

SFX: Drip, drip, drip.

ANNCR: Ollie Dinsmore wants to give you access to the water in his well -- so why is Big Jim Rennie

MUSIC: Sting.

ANNCR: standing in his way? Is Big Jim Rennie so sure he knows what's best for this town that he would put your lives and the lives of your precious children at risk, simply to cling onto the power he's enjoyed as a municipal politician? Why do we still recognize his authority, anyway? Maybe you've noticed that we're all trapped under an enormous Dome?

MUSIC: Out.

SFX: Muffled pounding against a glass-like surface.

ANNCR: Now is the time for all who want access to clean, safe drinking water to rise up against the regime of the past.

SFX: Gunshot.

ANNCR: Big Jim: wrong on privately held wells. Wrong for Chester's Mill.

Grading On A Curve - 45 Second Radio

MUSIC: The Shawshank Redemption trailer score.

ANNCR: Americans are a resilient people. Adversity brings us closer together, and even though the adversity represented by this Dome is unprecedented and hard to understand, we have admirably pulled together. Our rate of fatalities has leveled off, citizens are staying off the streets and out of sight, and even though Junior was made a police deputy despite the fact that virtually everyone in town knows he is literally insane, he doesn't have a gun anymore.

BIG JIM: I have to be honest, I don't know what you people want from me. You think anything I learned in that two-day local government orientation seminar prepared me for this? I'm trying to open up Ollie Dinsmore's well using the legal principle of eminent domain, and if the people who've decided to side with him get killed in the process, well, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few bad eggs, am I right? You want life to go back to the way it was before? I can't promise that will ever happen. But if you want to maintain some kind of continuity with the life we all knew before, then I recommend you respect the rule of law, and the officials you legally elected to look out for your interests, of whom I am apparently the only one left.

MUSIC: Out.

ANNCR: Big Jim Rennie: apparently the only one left.

Secrets - 30 Second Radio

MUSIC: Sinister minor-key chord up and under.

ANNCR: Big Jim Rennie represents himself as a good Christian man.

SFX: Parishioners say "Amen."

ANNCR: He raised a son as a single parent.

SFX: Baby cooing.

ANNCR: But now that son is a grown man, and insane.

SFX: Unintelligible babbling.

ANNCR: Big Jim hasn't even told his son the real story behind his mother's death. Is this really someone you want making decisions about your access to water and food?

SFX: Stomach growling.

ANNCR: If Big Jim will hide the truth from his own flesh and blood, why would you believe he's going to be honest with you?

SFX: Gasp.

ANNC: Big Jim Rennie: wrong on parenting a mentally ill child. Wrong for Chester's Mill.