Is There A Universe In Which UnREAL's Rachel Can End Up Happy With Jeremy?

Is there a universe in which Rachel can end up happy with Jeremy?

We're definitely being pushed into thinking the answer is no based on how miserable Rachel looks and acts in almost all the scenes they share in "Princess," this week's episode -- so miserable, in fact, that Jeremy's failure to notice what a crappy job she's generally doing at faking how happy she is about their reunion just underscores how determined he must be to have no regrets or doubts about having dumped Lizzie for her. Furthermore, Quinn is dubious about Rachel's ability to be satisfied by a life with Jeremy, and though Quinn is hardly someone who should be dispensing relationship advice, from what we've seen this season, she's usually got the right read on Rachel. But at the start of the season, Rachel was still pining for him while pretending not to. Was she fooling herself about how much she loved him during their first go-round just as she is now? Or have her priorities in a relationship really changed that much just as a result of exposure to Adam? Speaking of whom....

Conversely, does Adam even believe it when he tells Rachel what they have is real?

Adam knows quite well that Rachel's familiar with all his moves: she's watched him ply them on Everlasting's "ding dongs" when she hasn't actually fed him lines to use. He must be pretty confident in his approximation of sincerity to deploy it on Rachel, the person on set who knows him better than anyone; by this point, she may even be the person on EARTH who knows him best. Until the last few moments of this episode, I would have said Adam was pursuing Rachel mostly because she seemed to be unattainable; of course this guy would get bored of the girls climbing over each other to get to him because they posed no kind of challenge. But when Quinn unveils the sex tape Adam and Rachel didn't realize they'd made and issues her ultimatum, Adam's unhesitating reply that he doesn't care if Quinn leaks it makes him seem like the closest thing this show has to an actual hero. While everyone else sneaks around using gossip to extort their way into getting their way, Adam has determined that the possibility of building something real with Rachel is more important than preserving his public reputation...or is he just saying that because he knows Rachel won't let it come to that? Dr. Wagerstein tells Madison, "No one here does anything just to be nice," and proceeds to prove true, at least in her own case, by taking the blowjob card Quinn played on Madison and playing it on Chet to get her own segment on the show. Is Adam's apparent willingness to make himself look bad in public proof of his love for Rachel? Or is he just framing their situation such that when she inevitably makes the choice to hide their relationship, he'll be able to manipulate her with guilt when she's showrunning Royal Renovation?

Why would Chet want to "make a baby" with Quinn?

This guy just walked out on one baby he didn't want, with his ex-wife. Why would he be in such a hurry to have one with Quinn? Is it just that he wants to start a family with his heart's true wife -- something that, from what we've seen, she has no interest in doing? Or is it that he wants to mark his territory with...uh, not pee?

How can any of the girls trust what Rachel tells them?

Now that we're down to the wire and both Anna and Grace know they're in contention to join Adam on his spinoff series, it's fascinating to me that either is still trying to get information about Adam's leanings from Rachel (in Anna's case) or letting Rachel reassure her that she could win (Grace). Rachel is the one who recruited them to be on the show; they've been watching her operate for weeks. Are they both treating her like a person who has their best interests at heart because doing otherwise would force them to acknowledge the nightmare world they've been living in?

Does Anna's whiny flirty voice actually work on men/anyone?

Ugh, that performance in the hot air balloon just brought back how much Johanna Braddy bugged me when she was on Greek. And don't even get me started on how calculated she is listing the "nerdy stuff" she likes. Anna and her baby voice talk their way into an overnight date and (from what we see) full sex with Adam; please don't let that mean she weasels her way into Season 2.

Did the definition of "tramp stamp" change and no one told me?

At the crew party -- the one scene in which Rachel seems to enjoy Jeremy's company unreservedly -- there's talk of the tramp stamps Jeremy and a bunch of other crew guys got when lost his father, and then they show her.

Cool hip tats; not tramp stamps.

Why wouldn't Adam pick Faith for his sham wife?

The most confounding decision of the episode comes when Adam decides to send Faith home. Earlier in the episode, Faith approaches Adam and lays out her rationale: they get along as good pals; she would actually be helpful in renovating the winery; she wouldn't care if he screwed around on her (which would be very convenient for him with Rachel as his Royal Renovation showrunner); she could save him from really hurting Grace or Anna, either of whom might talk herself into falling in love with Adam for real, which isn't something he'd risk with Faith as his fiancée. Adam pooh-poohs the idea by concern-trolling that it sounds like "another year of pretending" for her, as though his entire plan, as he'd worked out with Rachel in the last episode, was to fake an engagement. It's too bad for Adam that Quinn waits until after the ceremony when Faith gets cut to lay out her blackmail plan, but maybe he shouldn't have been so short-sighted.

Can't Rachel have a great career in TV without being Quinn?

It's certainly true that Quinn's life doesn't look so hot in this particular week, between her having to do a professional end-run around the partner she doesn't trust because he's also shown she can't trust him on a personal level. It's also true that Rachel would have cause to turn Quinn down if she'd been offering a seminar on morality. I won't even say that a self-professed feminist like Rachel is obligated to prop up the sisterhood by working with someone like Quinn just because she's a woman. But it's very clear that Rachel is a great TV producer who should not be seriously considering giving it up just because she thinks it's grubby or her idiot mother doesn't get what she does; it's also disappointing that Rachel can't allow for the possibility that Quinn has become the way she is because working with Chet warped her. What kind of Executive Producer could Quinn be with a talented female partner who didn't jerk her around? If Rachel had just accepted an excellent offer instead of sending Quinn looking for evidence to use against her, she could have found out. Now Rachel's trapped herself in a relationship where the imbalance of power will always have her at a disadvantage. And if Rachel's staring down a future as Quinn's bitch because she thinks she owes it to Jeremy not to break his heart a second time...well, good luck to Jeremy, the bitch's bitch.