About A Boy Brings Us Yet Another Unwilling Fictional Person Pressed Into Parenthood

In case you had forgotten, NBC's About A Boy revolves around the journey of a self-involved single, unattached dude toward understanding the purpose and value of true human connection by bridging the divide between himself and the next generation. In the first two episodes of the series (and the movie and book that preceded it), Will, our "hero," has mostly learned this lesson via his exposure to Marcus, a pre-teen kid who comes into his life by random chance. But since the series has added a best-friend character for Will who contrasts Will's carefree childless idyll with his bunch of kids, crabby wife, and generally joyless existence, the latest episode features a plotline in which Will is challenged to make room in his life for another kid, as Andy asks Will to be the godfather to his new baby, Jonah. And I can't, you guys. I can't with this.

First, there's the suspension of suspension of disbelief issue. I realize that "godfather" can be a largely symbolic position, and that the person a parent chooses to be his or her child's godparent is not necessarily supposed to take custody of the child in case of emergency, but is, instead, mainly responsible for the child's religious education -- or, at least, so it was framed for me throughout my Catholic childhood. But that isn't what's happening here. When Andy raises the question with Will, he (and Laurie, his wife, who is also present if extremely reluctant) explicitly frames it as endowing Will with the duty of taking care of Jonah if Andy and Laurie both die at the same time. Except that person's title is not "godfather." It's "legal guardian." And since they're specifically only asking Will to be Jonah's godfather, are we supposed to think that (a) their other two kids, Madison and Alex, have other guardians and (b) in the event that their children are orphaned, they don't want all three kids to be raised together? No.

But let's pretend I accept all that. (I don't, which is why we have to pretend.) What in the world would make Andy think that Will should be Jonah's custodial godparent? I mean, I get that we're supposed to think that Laurie is a castrating shrew, but if she's opposed to Andy's making this offer to Will, she's the most responsible adult in this whole transaction -- and, when he refuses, Will is the second-most-responsible. Let me say it again: Will has arranged a life for himself where he has no attachments at all. Given that he seems not to be crazy about most adults, kids are right out. Even his nascent, very limited friendship with Marcus doesn't prove that Will is prepared to take on an infant in the event that the worst happens: a part-time pre-teen who can verbally communicate his needs and be fun sometimes is hardly in the same hassle league as parenting a brand-new infant, full-time, alone.

Which leads to my next point: Will is single. This is not to say that there aren't wonderful single parents -- by circumstance or choice -- but Andy has zero reason to think that Will has the emotional resources or open heart to try to parent a baby by himself, particularly since, as we learn later in the episode, Andy doesn't think Will knows his children's names, and he is right! Will doesn't know their names! If Will were the same feckless, selfish jerk but with a partner to share the parenting load, that would be one thing. But Andy just saw Will take Marcus to an adult pool party in the last episode. He doesn't know how to look after kids. Even if Andy is pretty sure that nothing bad is going to happen to him, never mind him and Laurie simultaneously, naming Will as a guardian is not a nice gesture that will make Will feel closer to Jonah; it's reckless. And it makes this episode premise totally absurd.

I'll give this to About A Boy: at least Andy (and the reluctant Laurie) do Will the courtesy of informing him that they want him to raise their child if they both die; that's more than the shitty parents of, say, the film Life As We Know It did to their unrelated, unfriendly single friends before they went and died. And at least the episode ends with Will changing his mind about taking the godfather gig. We're supposed to think that Andy is basically a good father -- the kind who'll blow off a bowling date so he can be his daughter's poop motivator. But based on the admittedly little we've seen from Andy so far, one would think that if parenting has taught him anything, it's that parenting is not for everyone. Too often, pop culture treats parenting as a rite of passage a person must go through in order to become a fully realized adult, and people who've affirmatively decided not to have kids mere unfortunates who sadly don't know better, but will if they're just forced to. The episode does a very nice job on a scene in which Andy and Fiona hang out together in a relaxed way, sharing a nice night as adults during which they both manage not to bitch about what a drag it is to have kids, unlike most parents on sitcoms (and Andy, the rest of the time), and I appreciate the unexpected choice there; so for About A Boy then to slide into the cliché that you can make someone "grow up" by dumping your child on him is a bummer. If Will's change of heart as the episode ends is the very last instance of this construct that we ever see, our culture will be the richer for it.