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Arranged Reunites Christian And Maria, Allows The World's Greatest Love Story To Continue
Meanwhile, Ragini and Veeral shop for a house, and Meghan shops for barstools against express instructions. Your editors discuss!
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In your brief time with this (very dumb, frequently fake) show, I assume your experience has pretty much lined up with mine in that you're fascinated by Christian and Maria and the other two couples are mostly super-boring. But I have to give producers credit this week for having hooked me with the Meghan and Josh storyline. My sympathies were really careening back and forth! First, I was against him for dismissing her career aspirations and qualifications by telling his fellow residents that "she's looking for a job." While that is true, he could have also said she has a Master's degree in hospital administration rather than make it sound like she's trying to get work sweeping up the floor at a hair salon. But on the other hand...Meghan's choice to get back at Josh for not including her in his resident hang-out by doing some punitive shopping was not cute. While I don't agree that he should get the final say on the household money just because he is currently the only one earning any, spending close to $500 on two bar stools for an apartment in a city where you're only going to live for a year is really extravagant. ...Or am I nuts?
You're not. They're bar stools. Get a dining set if you're going to spend money you didn't earn. This isn't Cheers. ...But seriously: I'm almost entirely Team Meghan here, for several reasons. First, his criticisms of her job hunt are not "like coaching"; they're passive-aggressive carping, same as his hedgehog-headed mother's. Second, which is part of the first, learn how to use your Word-A-Day Calendar words. That is not what "adamantly" means. If you're going to talk baseless shit about the missus, the word is "assiduously," which is kind of how I dislike you. Third, if you're in the right to blow Meghan off for drinks with your work friends, don't act completely busted when she shows up to drive your lightweight ass home, DOCTOR.
However! Meghan needs to learn to carpet-bomb with résumés, and to not lead with the fact that she's only staying in town for a year in the interview.
Yeah, that was a rookie move. But I agree with you that Josh is less right, generally, than Meghan. That moment in their joint TH when he's all, "I don't...think...she's being lazy" is not a great look for a guy who's been married less than a year. Have some understanding of the fact that a) she moved to this dump for your career; b) because of her doing that, she shouldn't have to get a for-now job when she's very qualified to get on a career track; c) don't try to score points with your doctor buddies by acting like she's spending her days watching movies while you're importantly orthopeding.
d) respect that Meghan is raising her passive-aggression game with that retrograde horseshitty "oh so there were girls there no that's fine whatever" comment.
Yeah, the fact that he delivers all his critiques with that stupid smile doesn't help. At least she's honest about her feelings...which are that she hates Josh.
I kind of hoped she'd feed his dinner to the dog, who is the only bearable creature on the show.
Amen on the dog. It's not his fault stupid Josh named him Gandalf.
#freeGandalf
Moving on to Ragini and Veeral: I do not for one second buy that Ragini wouldn't have vetoed the Woodland Hills house on the basis of its location. We're supposed to think she doesn't know where her in-laws live? Come on.
Well, some people have really elastic definitions of "down the street," but I think everyone in this situation agrees with me that it means "you can walk there," no?
That's how I interpreted it! Veeral and Ragini's story keeps getting faker and faker every week. Anyone in a real marriage would be trying harder to compromise than these two. If Veeral knows that Ragini is starting to get sick of spending all her free time with her in-laws, Veeral should be making an effort to be more strategic about getting together with them. And now that even Ragini's own father has told her she needs to quit fucking around on the baby front, she needs to quit throwing up roadblocks. I mean, sure, it would be nice for them to be in a house before she has a baby, but they live in a spacious two-bedroom apartment now. They have room. And not to be a dick, but Ragini's thirty-five: if she's elected to be part of a culture where having kids isn't optional, she can't waste much more time.
Seriously. You can put a baby in a drawer. And that's the thing that annoys me about Ragini: I don't care for these antediluvian cultural expectations for women either, which is why I exercised the choice not to engage with them. As they used to say in the Catskills, these are the jokes. Laugh or get the check.
Exactly! You didn't have to get married. If you wanted to get married, you didn't have to marry a fairly traditional Indian man. If you wanted to marry a fairly traditional Indian man, you could have married an orphaned only child. "But it's a show about arranged marriages, they didn't have a choice!" They got together through a matchmaking website, and yes they did.
All that said, I feel like if Veeral's characterization of labour as "pop[ping] a baby out" made Ragini add eighteen months to her timeline, I don't really blame her. Gross.
Ugh, right? A requirement that he learn how to talk to and about her on that topic before she pulls the goalie is perfectly reasonable.
Speaking of learning how to talk...let's get to the main event: Christian and Maria.
More like "speaking of acting," because Christian's really needs some work. His reaction to finding Maria in the living room was not only not anywhere close to "surprise" (which, fine, the production tipped him; I get it) but was also not happy at all. Maybe a couple of times it approached the border of "relieved I didn't get expelled from school," but mostly it was "smelled sour milk." He also had no idea how to hug her. HIS WIFE.
He also took several minutes to come anywhere near her even before the awkward hug. And the fact that his physical affection toward her is so performative is also tipped by the fact that he takes her hand when he's still got a snotty Kleenex crumpled up in his.
But, you know, Christian's turned over a new leaf! Happy wife, happy life! Just like the last new leaf he turned over! Maria's life is still going to be terrible forever!
Especially if he thinks spending "like $15" at the barber is something to be proud of. That barber owes ME money.
I personally would still like to know where Christian even got the $95 he grudgingly handed over for Maria's day of beauty. The show seems to be abiding by some kind of agreement not to show any of the Miller family's sources of income other than Nina and Maria's rose sales, but I'm pretty sure they're not renting a Shore house on a couple of hundred dollars on a good night.
It's not like Christian does anything for work, IRS-friendly or not. He just presents as such a spoiled eleven-year-old in every way.
That's the larger point. In the first half of the season we got to watch him try out roofing...for a day. Since then he's just been playing videogames, apparently, which is why he's so offended when he gets to the vacation house and it doesn't have a TV. I get it? But if you want to do something else, pay for your own vacation. I hear great things about Syria, Christian!
Or Korea! He could game professionally there while being as far from Maria, and right-thinking viewers, as possible.
Also...okay, we know that in the Gypsy "culture," women are second-class citizens, and hardly anyone goes very far with education. Maria thinks the hobby she used to enjoy is "drawling." I don't mean to be rude, but...do we think Maria can read?
She texts? She could use entirely emojis, I guess. She and Christian both strike me as people who, if not directly addressed or stimulated, could very well sit silently all day, staring into the middle distance.
You're from New Jersey -- were you offended by how grossed out Nina was by that beach house? Because to me it looked a lot nicer than their actual house in Queens. At least it had decorations!
Eh, not really. It looked fine to me, but who knows what it smelled like if the previous tenants were, like, a dozen twenty-two-year-olds. If it means they won't be returning, I'm good with it.