I Am The Twix Bar From Awkward.

I am the Twix bar from Awkward.

I am so glad to get this opportunity to talk to you about co-starring in the episode alongside the great Ashley Rickards. Ashley was a wonderful scene partner and very generous. In the first couple of takes, she picked me up off the table and opened me in a way that had her hands covering my wrapper, holding me closer to her chest so that I was behind the screen of her laptop. And then I suggested, "Hey, what if you held me up in such a way that I'm more clearly visible to the camera?" And she kind of shot a look at the director, and the director nodded meaningfully, and she adjusted in the way you can see. It's just a more natural movement for someone opening the wrapper on a candy bar to wrench her elbow way up so it's level with her shoulder. I mean, that's how you are positioned when you open a candy bar, right?

I have heard some rumblings to the effect that my appearance was part of a product placement deal with Awkward. -- a mistaken impression that may have been cemented by the first commercial break after my scene, when viewers learned that the episode was brought to them in part by Twix. But nothing could be further from the truth. I auditioned for the role under a false name (Whatchamacallit, not that you asked) and won it fair and square. I work hard and I resent the suggestion that I got this gig due to some kind of nepotism.

And I think if you watch the episode with an open mind, it's clear how integral I was to the scene. Jenna, Ashley's character, is struggling with a piece of writing. At the same time, and for some of the same reasons, she's emotionally unsettled in her relationship with Matty (Beau Mirchoff) due to a crush on Collin (Nolan Gerard Funk). What single thing could get her through? The first Twix bar gives her quick energy, since she's probably having a midday crash. The second Twix bar offers sweet comfort to her heavy heart. It's pretty obvious she's not going to get that kind of help from a Fiber One bar or, god forbid, a goddamn piece of fruit. ...Sorry for the language. But honestly!

To those who complimented my performance: thank you. I'm happy to have it on my reel; I'm going out for a Biggest Loser temptation sequence next week.