I Am The...

Allow various (mostly) inanimate objects from TV shows to introduce themselves.

Cottonelle Takes Its Nosy Fecal Questions To The Gym

I Am The...Have you ever been trying to squeeze in a workout only for some weird British lady to get in your face and ask you all about your ass-wiping routine? These people have. 2016.06.15

Silicon Valley

I Am The Frustratingly Designed Packaging Of Fage Fruit Yogurt

I Am The...Bow before my many corners! 2015.05.04

Penny Dreadful

'Do These Toffs Have Any Concept Of How Much Time I Spend Maintaining This Hedge Maze?'

I Am The...And more complaints from the Murrays' gardener. 2014.06.09

Television

'Is This Some Kind Of, Like, Fetish Speed Dating Thing?'

I Am The...Extras in the latest Cottonelle ad talk about wiping their butts while trying to find true love. 2014.05.16

Television

'Are You Implying That I'm Still Single Because I'm Dirty? Did My Mother Send You Over Here?!'

I Am The...Only we know what these extras in a Cottonelle ad — shot at a wedding — were really thinking. 2013.12.04

The Bridge

'People Like The Special Edging Scissors, But He Didn't Seem That Interested'

I Am The...A perspective on The Bridge's resident criminal mastermind from the lady who sold him his scrapbooking supplies. 2013.09.05

Under The Dome

'Now When I Say "In There," You Know What I Mean, Right?'

I Am The...Turns out the two army guys Dodee heard on the radio during last night's Under The Dome have more to say. 2013.09.03

Television

'I Only Stopped Because I Thought She Was Holding A Giant Box Of Mints'

I Am The...Extras in a new Cottonelle ad share their behind-the-scenes tales of shooting the commercial. ('Behind.') 2013.08.20

Big Brother

We Are The Beach Balls From The Big Brother 15 Promo Shoot

I Am The...This is so embarrassing. 2013.06.21

Burn Notice

I Am One Of The Machine Gun Helpers From Burn Notice

I Am The...'YEAH that was my hand!' 2013.06.14

Awkward

I Am The Twix Bar From Awkward.

I Am The...Look how delicious I am! 2013.06.05

Taboo USA

'Beats Working For A Living!'

I Am The..."If this guy wants to drink my blood, it would be kind of rude for me to try to stop him." 2013.06.05

Awkward

'You See A Shirtless Matty, And Your Body Just Takes Over'

I Am The..."I don't remember making a decision in my mind to do it." 2013.05.29

Nurse Jackie

We Are The Compromised Index Cards From Nurse Jackie

I Am The...She should be writing speech notes or recipes on us! Not filth! 2013.05.20

America's Worst Tattoos

'Best Boyfriend Ever, Right?'

I Am The..."So Gaby and I were coming up on our first anniversary of dating. This might surprise you, but this is the longest relationship I've ever had." 2013.05.10