Bates Motel

'I Was Breezy!'

Tara Ariano
 

Leaving a message for the person who took your virginity and then immediately stopped answering your texts isn't easy for anyone. But when you're a nascent serial killer, and therefore a little more awkward than the average bear, it's even harder. Try to get through this transcript of Norman (Freddie Highmore) leaving a message for Bradley (Nicola Peltz) without cringing. If you can, you might be a serial killer too. (Extra points to Bradley for leaving an extra-long pause after the greeting in her outgoing message to trick Norman into starting to speak too soon and putting him even further back on his heels. OH IT'S UNENDURABLE.)

"Oh hey!...Oh, it's the...yeah. Um, I, uh, well, I, I was just, you know, wondering how you were, um, I mean, with all the, you know, all the stuff you're going through, and, and I just hadn't heard. Not that I-- not that I should -- I mean, if you wanted to call me, that's totally fine, but it's not, you know, like I'm expecting it or anything. Um. So, uh. Yeah. I, um. I've had a, a really good time seeing you lately. It's been, it's been fun, nice spending time with you. Um. I know you're really busy and stuff, and uh, you know, me too, I, I get that. It's-- you've got a lot of stuff going on in your life. I'm not an idiot, heh heh! But uh, but yeah! Um. Call me, uh, you know. I hope you're okay. Bye."
- Norman -

But hey, congratulations to Mike: your record for world's most awkward phone message has finally been beaten!

Tara Ariano