Wagstaff's Fiercest Frenemies Bat Each Other Around

It should be clear to anyone who knows them why the younger Belcher siblings don't seem bothered by the fact that they have no friends. Gene is more than capable of making as much fun for himself as a whole classroom full of kids, from his bowel-related tests of strength to his acceleration of the aging process via a makeover that recently turned him into a miniature replica of his dad. As for Louise: it's hardly possible for her to make friends with her peers when her contempt for all other humans means she kind of has no peers. But Tina actually has the will and capacity to make friends, which is why her travails with classmate Tammy have made for such heartbreaking/great TV. Though Tina generally ends up coming out ahead of Tammy in their various battles -- good must triumph over evil, after all -- this week's episode features her most victorious victory yet.

Things between Tina and Tammy started out with so much promise! Tina had volunteered to welcome new students to Wagstaff and help acclimate them to the school, which is how she first encountered Tammy. Unlike Tina in that she wears a lot of makeup, has a kicky top that shows off one naked shoulder, is unapologetically sassmouthed, and...in pretty much every other way, Tammy obviously intrigued Tina, who adopted her hairstyle and bad attitude and hoped to glom onto Tammy before Tammy figured out that friendship with Tina would not exactly launch her into Wagstaff's popular crowd (although, given that Tammy soon developed a crush on ZEKE of all people, popularity might not be in the cards for her regardless). And the effects of Tina's exposure to a bad apple like Tammy showed themselves immediately.

But all hope of real friendship between Tammy and Tina was lost when Tammy discovered Tina's erotic friend fiction and threatened to bring it to school and ruin Tina's life with it if Tina didn't abet all of Tammy's bad behaviour. And though Tina technically came out ahead there when Tammy fell victim to a public fart attack, Tina did, unfortunately, read some of her work first, exposing her interest in her classmates' butts and more, so as to the question of who was the ultimate winner of this skirmish, let's call it a draw.

Tammy's frenemy status is cemented in "Broadcast Wagstaff School News," in which Tammy tricks Tina into ruining her chances at succeeding as an in-school TV news anchor by slowing down her speech (clever girl; clever, evil girl), clearing the path for Tammy to fulfill her destiny peddling soft, sensational, or outright false stories, including that Tina has been pooping all over the school. Tina's talent for investigative reporting helps her to unmask the actual culprit (Zeke, duh) and get her own show on WSN, whereas Tammy is almost publicly pooped on. Do we all wish Zeke had better butt aim? Of course we do. But maybe this brush with (social) death will serve to help Tammy re-evaluate her priorities and make room in her life for actual friendship with Tina the next time we see them, right?

Haha, just kidding, that doesn't and was never going to happen BUT, because Tina is a soft-hearted, forgiving boob, now that it's time for Tammy to have her Bat Mitzvah, she thinks she might get invited. Or maybe it's less that she hopes she'll be invited than that she's desperate to be invited.

Tina is so bold as to tell Tammy she didn't receive an invitation, whereupon Tammy shamelessly shoots back that it's because Tina isn't invited. Tina just as shamelessly offers to make herself available "if a spot opens up," but it's not to be: "Spots are for underwear, Tina. Not my bat mitzvah." But Tammy is so anxious to outdo the last bat mitzvah she went to, which boasted five different caterers, that she'll accept Bob's Burgers as her sixth, and thus does Tina weasel her way into the event. Under an apron.

And then: glory! Louise takes a gigantic bowl of guacamole into an enormous model of Tammy's head, intending to dump it out one of the nostrils to make it look like Tammy's giant lip has been smeared with her giant boogers. (Why the model would have nostrils at all is kind of a mystery, so let's pretend there's a structural reason for them the explanation of which got cut for time.) But Tammy finds Louise there, and is in the middle of yelling at her when the head goes back up on the crane, and the two get stuck in it. Tina having been pressed into service as Tammy's party planner (after Louise gaslit the first one into quitting), she does what she can to stick to Tammy's schedule, even if that means taking over as the bat mitzvah girl herself and enjoying all the spoils: leading the Macarena, breaking challah with a rabbi, and enjoying a ladies' choice dance with Justin, the cutest of the BFOS!

Tina will never get to have a bat mitzvah and, given the way the Belchers...are, probably will never get to have any kind of fancy party at which she gets to be the center of attention and grope strange boys' butts. If she only gets there by basically stealing Tammy's party -- even after she finds out where Tammy and Louise actually are -- it's hard to begrudge her the moment; Tina's a sweet, dorky goober, and Tammy's a dick. I hope they get to fight each other again very soon.