Broad City Shows Us Exactly What Abbi And Ilana Spent The Past Year Doing...In The Bathroom

It's been almost a year since we last hung out with Abbi and Ilana in Broad City. And now that we've all been reunited, one might wonder what they've been doing in all that time, which is probably why the season starts with a classic BC cold open that takes us through the hiatus. We start exactly where we left off, with the ladies in the novelty t-shirts they had to buy after the Season 2 finale's crises.

From there, we take a journey through every significant life event Ilana and/or Abby experienced in their respective water closets -- sometimes with special guest stars, and sometimes...with Bevers.

While Abbi disposes of an aquatic friend who swims no more, things are also getting fishy over at Ilana's. (Sorry. I had to! And apparently so did she.)

While Ilana and Abbi compare heights, Bevers helps himself to Abbi's very special dress, undoubtedly ruining it in the process.

Either Abbi and Ilana haven't synced cycles (seems unlikely), or Ilana has unique methods for dealing with menstrual pain (sounds right).

There are many right ways to celebrate a negative pregnancy test, and one wrong one.

The force of Abbi and Ilana's hot moves causes a ceiling on the other side of Brooklyn to collapse.

While Abbi gives another fish a homegoing, Ilana salutes a former Secretary Of State.

You can't hear it, but what wakes Ilana up from a classic toilet nap is her own very loud sleep fart.

We don't know for sure that Ilana doesn't feed the rat hanging out in her bathroom while she's away, but would any of us rule it out?

...Less celebratory reaction to this pee stick. (We don't see how this one ends since Planned Parenthood doesn't make house calls.)

This is actually one of the first moments in the montage but I left it for last because it's the cutest. Spending every possible moment with your best friend and truest soulmate doesn't mean you don't still have lots to catch up on over the phone. Next to a toilet.