Photos: Ron Batzdorff; Ronda Churchill / ABC
Champagne Wishes And Thumb-Losing Dreams
Robin Leach and Eric Roberts trade wives, because why wouldn't they. Sarah and Tara judge everyone involved.
Our Players
Hello, I'm West Coast Editor Tara Ariano.
Hello, I'm East Coast Editor Sarah D. Bunting.
The Scene
I think what I mostly took away from this episode is that between my unwillingness to drink alcohol and your inability to eat meat, neither of us should even pretend to be married to Robin Leach (Thank God we have each other!)
Ha! Totally. On the flip side, between her fondness for cats and flip-flops, her TREEHOUSE, her renting a Smart for Robin to drive instead of his Bentley, and her eating pizza like every night, we should totes jump Eric Roberts's wife into our non-carnal marriage. And, for that matter, Eric Roberts, who seems like your friend's nerdy dad who says things like "groovy" but is really interested in what you have to say. (Not in a molesty way.)
You know, I wasn't really sure about him, since the last time he showed up on a reality show, it was...Celebrity Rehab. But then I remembered that his issue then was that he smoked too much weed and whenever he wasn't high he was unbearable to be around, which to me just means don't stop? And judging from what we saw last night, he seems to have taken my advice. That is one chill dude. (And the fact that he's estranged from his sister Julia really only raises his worth with me.)
I got the same vibe from him on CR, too -- the "nerdy dad" thing, although I agreed with you then that he should just keep getting stoned and not worry too much about it. He doesn't take himself too seriously, I don't think, since they showed my all-time favorite Eric Roberts Is Ack-Ting!!1! clip, the "they took my thumb" clip from The Pope Of Greenwich Village. But I didn't think Robin Leach and Joan were hateful or anything. (Though she might rethink those fishnets.) I DID think it was one of the more weirdly edited, choppy episodes -- like, even more obviously disjointed and faked up than usual. What was with Eliza inviting random small children over to tear up Leach's shit?
I agree. It seemed like the two of them finally came to dig each other and then some producer was like, "Go to a day care and find me some brats." I wasn't even clear on whose children they WERE, and why does Robin Leach need to learn how to hang with kindergartners? It's not like he and Joan are ever going to have any. I also didn't love how insistent Robin and Joan were that Eric and Eliza need to spend more time apart. Like, why? Just because they're near each other a lot doesn't mean they're not independent, I...can confidently declare from personal experience.
Heh, ditto. Neither of those arrangements, in terms of how much time the couple did or didn't spend together, seemed dysfunctional to me. And so what if Eliza drives Eric to his auditions? She's his manager, and maybe she wants a Jamba Juice. Calm down, Joan.
Seriously. She's probably answering emails on her phone while she waits. Who cares. But in terms of things Eliza actually maybe COULD stop doing? Feeding squirrels. Joan's terror of them was kind of excessive, but seriously, they're wildlife. If they live in a city, they know how to forage.
Also, feed the cats on the floor.
ALSO, FEED THE CATS ON THE FLOOR.
The show blew right past the baby food, too.
Go on.
Not that there isn't sometimes legitimate reason to feed cats baby food, but...the cats were getting baby food.
I guess if you're the kind of person who fishes a bee out of a pool and thinks you've really done it a favour, you think Cleo needs strained peas? I don't know.
Or your cat has irritable-bowel syndrome. "...She says with grim authority." ANYWAY. There just wasn't much to this one. Everyone basically got along okay, and they had to really strain to create a situation in which Robin Leach is coated in silly string -- not that that isn't a valid story goal, but still.
Yeah, it was thin gruel. Robin likes to stay out late with his douchey rich-guy pals; I'm more of a "go to bed at 8" person, so my preference was clear. I just hope that watching this back made Joan realize she could stand to be less rude about strangers' guest rooms.
And kitchens. I guess my perspective isn't the norm after almost 20 years in New York City, but if you can fit all those cameras in it, it's not "tiny."
Well, like I said: trading spouses with Joan is not a great option for you, because Robin Leach will take you to a steak house, where you'll stab him in the eye. So I guess it's more that it's not a great option for HIM.