Courtney Stodden's Behaviour Is REALLY Not Believable
It has always been hard to buy Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison as a real couple who are honestly in love with one another, just trying to have a good marriage despite all the social disapproval that might reasonably cause them to give up and find more age-appropriate partners. And now that they're reality TV personalities, it's only getting harder. (That's what she said.) ("She" is Courtney Stodden, who has evidently never heard an entendre she couldn't double.)
In last night's episode, we did get one unguarded moment that had the whiff of authenticity: asked by therapist Jenn Berman to recount the darkest moment of their marriage, Doug tells of a time the couple came home after a day when more people than usual (I guess) had approached Courtney with comments about her appearance. Courtney says that she and Doug were yelling at each other "nose to nose," and that she lashed out at him: "I called him a fat fuck....He is very self-conscious about his shape."
Knowing which of your partner's buttons to push to get a reaction? Yeah, okay, that's a real couple. Too bad everything else they did in the episode seemed so calculated and phony. For instance:
Courtney's Wardrobe
This week, we saw Courtney in a skin-tight black plunging v-neck, leather hot pants (cut like bikini briefs), a bikini that might have actually been lingerie, and -- always -- lucite platform heels. ("I know strippers that don't dress like that when they're not working," commented new patient Tiny.) Courtney's dress was so inappropriate that it ruined dinner.
Courtney's Ignorance Of Common Household Appliances
"What? 'Garbage compactors'?" Courtney doesn't know what a garbage compactor is. When Doug explains (sort of), she persists in thinking it's actually a dishwasher. "But can you wash dishes in here too?...That is, like, beyond me. I do not understand." I know Jessica Simpson got a lot of mileage out of "not knowing" what tuna is, but Jesus.
Courtney's Claims About Her Sexual History
If Courtney really is the age she claims to be -- a topic about which there are many conspiracy theories -- then maybe it's plausible that, until Doug, she was a virgin despite her hypersexual self-presentation. How she decided that Doug was worthy of her because he "wasn't with [her] for the wrong reasons" is never explained, which makes that claim less credible.
Doug's Constant Use Of The Word "Tight"
Hey, Doug? Take a second and think about why you are on TV. Now think of a different adjective to describe your relationships with your now-estranged mother and brother. "Close" is a great option.