Turns Out There Was More To Dick's Breakup With Stephanie Than Just The Fact That He's Dick

Sneak Session, Continued

We pick back up where we left off last week, and exactly as I predicted, the editors make sure to repeat Dr. Jenn scolding both Nikki for trying to hide from the cameras, and Jenna for encouraging her in this pursuit. When Jenna pushes back at Dr. Jenn, saying she doesn't like being spoken to that way, Dr. Jenn doesn't really bother to justify her trademark real-it-keepin' attitude and turns her attention (and body) to Nikki, which is why she misses it when Jenna rolls her eyes at her.

There's not much for Dr. Jenn to do here other than reiterate what she's been telling Nikki all along, and Nikki first looks defiant as she says it's hard, and then breaks down a little as she explains that she wants to protect her relationship with Juan Pablo, even though the nature of its beginning means there's always going to be encroachment on it from the public. And then she gets to the REAL heart of the matter, which is that she still feels like, "Pick me, pick me!" with him, and which may be why these reality dating show relationships generally don't work out? Because they are built on a foundation that, by its very nature, gives one half of the couple all the power over the other? I MEAN I'M NOT A THERAPIST BUT IT JUST MAKES SENSE. Dr. Jenn asks Juan Pablo how he feels hearing this, and he HILARIOUSLY replies, "I try to do as much as I can to make her happy." And he does, unless making her happy involves moving to Nikki's town or arranging for her to move to his or telling her about public events where he might be expected to flirt with strangers (or more) or telling her he loves her. In the end, Nikki agrees (again) to try harder to be open to the therapy process.

Afterward, Nikki THes that while she sincerely meant it when she said she'd be a good citizen, she's also embarrassed that she was the cause for this special therapy session, and we see her apologize to everyone else for having been the reason they all got "called to the principal's office." Cicely tells her it's okay if it means Nikki gets help in what she's trying to accomplish in her relationship, and THes, "Now we even understand why Nikki runs around like an angry black woman." Hee! As for Juan Pablo? "Womens are not easy at all." On behalf of womens, I object!

Dr. Jenn Huwt Jenna's Feewings!

After the emergency session, Jenna and John adjourn to their room, where Jenna bitches about Dr. Jenn having told her off. At first, she's all full of bravado about it, casting aspersions on Dr. Jenn's talents as a therapist AS WE ALL HAVE DONE AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER and THing, "There's no way I can let THAT BEAST treat me this way," which...I feel like if you really think she's a beast, you should leave? I mean, more so than they all should leave. But then Jenna's anger slides into hurt as she cries, "You know how I am about yelling." (No one actually yelled, for the record.) Jenna's position is that Dr. Jenn shouldn't yell because she's a therapist, and as she curls up in a chair like a little girl, she sniffles, "Am I here to get worse?" John tries to reassure her that she won't, and then tells the camera that Jenna's not the type of person to let anything go. YEAH, WE KNOW.

Jenna's Unofficial Friendly Chat With Dr. Jenn

Dr. Jenn comes to Jenna's room to talk with her about the session because she could tell that, for Jenna, it was "triggering." (Barf.) In the conversation, Jenna cries that her dad was a yeller, so she's sensitive to that, and that she didn't mean to tell Nikki anything that was, as Dr. Jenn had put it, going to sabotage Nikki's relationship with Juan Pablo; she also says she isn't used to hearing therapists speak "in that octave." Again: Dr. Jenn swore (a lot), but she didn't actually yell at all. Anyway, Dr. Jenn says she totally gets it, and Jenna looks contrite and lets Dr. Jenn hug her. But in a TH, she tells us that she doesn't think anyone is right all the time (other than herself, from what we've seen on the show so far), and that she doesn't think Dr. Jenn was right about this. Which is fine -- again, we're all within our rights to criticize Dr. Jenn for sucking as a therapist -- but if Jenna is really this dead set against her, she can leave, and she probably should.

"Like, Male Bonding Time Here, Man"

All the dudes except Juan Pablo sit around discussing the process and how much more intense it is than they thought it would be. Treach: "Communication, we found out, is one of the biggest things that destroy relationships if it's not there." You "found out"? Okay. Then Dick THes that after the latest session, he's "shitting [his] pants" because he's been carrying around a big secret and doesn't know if he's even going to share it. Do not click on the following if you don't want to be spoiled for the big reveal, but: yeah, we know.

Confronting Nikki

Deena, Stephanie, and then Dick are out by the fire...bench? I don't know what to call it since it's not exactly a pit, but you know what I mean. Anyway, they're all discussing how annoying Nikki is with her antipathy toward the cameras, and how she needs to suck it up because she signed up to be on TWO DIFFERENT REALITY SHOWS. Deena says, "You can only say you hate the cameras so much, but you're on a TV show. It's kind of hypocritical," and though the syntax of the first sentence is kind of snarled, she's obviously right. Deena's like, I would say it to her face, and then Nikki comes out from doing an interview to make s'mores, and Deena basically does, though with slightly gentler phrasing. They ask Nikki what she had expected when she signed up for The Bachelor, and Dick gives a description he's obviously repeating from something Nikki had said at some earlier point, about thinking it would just be a bunch of trips, and Nikki, without making eye contact, says, "YEP" in a VERY hard tone that indicates that she knows she's about to have to defend her (dumb) position again. And then it's just a lot of stuff we've heard seventeen times already about how annoyed Nikki gets when her restaurant meals are interrupted; the only new information we learn is that she thinks if she's bitchy to strangers, they'll learn that she doesn't like getting approached in public? But like, are they then supposed to disseminate that information to all the other strangers who might conceivably approach her in the future? Nikki is dumb.

Dick -- reasonably enough -- says he's sick of talking about this and leaves, and once he's gone Nikki changes the subject to Stephanie. New information here: Stephanie and Dick have only relatively recently started talking again after their breakup, and she's not sure if they'll ever get back together. Skip, skip, skip.

Treach Catches A Lizard

Treach pursues a lizard in the yard with what appears to be a salad spinner. He tells Cicely he's going to catch a couple of "Geico lizards" so that when she's not talking to him, he can talk to them instead. It's not clear whether Treach thinks the actual species is called a geico. Moving on.

Jenna Is A Handful

"Waking up this morning, Jenna gives me the...woman huff," says John. Basically, Jenna has woken up mad because John wasn't solicitous enough of her hurt feelings after the infamous scolding session the day before. John tries to tell her, nicely, that she's being ridiculous, and Jenna sniffs, "I'm sorry if you feel like I'm obsessing. I'm not obsessing." John tells us that he's usually pretty sensitive to Jenna's moods and needs but that he thinks that was one that she shouldn't have expected him to have guessed, and I agree. Have I mentioned that these two have only been dating for three months, and that they should break up?

Talking About Dick's Big Secret, Part 1

In their room, Stephanie asks Dick whether he's really sure he wants to disclose his big secret to his fellow patients, and thus to the world. Given that they know they're on camera now, they talk around the issue and it's boring and frustrating -- or it would be, if we didn't already know what the secret is.

Stephanie's One-on-One With Dr. Jenn

When Dr. Jenn asks what dating Dick was like, Stephanie starts talking in extremely general generalities: it was fun at first, but when they moved in together, their differences came to the fore, and she realized he was crazy. Dr. Jenn then asks whether there were any issues that, more than the others, led to their breakup, and Stephanie immediately gets nervous and asks if everything they talk about will be on camera. Dr. Jenn reluctantly says that she can take part of their discussion off-camera if need be, and asks whether this matter is private to Stephanie, to Dick, or to both of them. Stephanie says Dick, and Dr. Jenn's like, hmmmm, let me think about it, and I guess that's a wrap on Stephanie.

Talking About Dick's Big Secret, Part 2

Dick's been up all night tossing and turning and thinking about His Big Secret. "I don't. Want. To talk about it," Stephanie firmly informs him. But Dick thinks he really needs to talk to someone about it. God, I really wish I hadn't known in advance what the secret was because this probably would have been VERY suspenseful!

Dick's One-on-One With Dr. Jenn

Dick opens by saying that he's discussed this topic with Stephanie, who is adamant that he not talk about it on camera and may leave if he does, but he has to. It's the reason he left Season 13 of Big Brother six days in, and adds that "every news station" (doubtful) and TMZ (that I buy) stalked him for "a long time" to try to find out what was up, and that there were lots of rumours about it but that the truth never came out. And what is the truth? With tears in his eyes, Dick says that when they ran a pre-season battery of tests on him, a blood test revealed that he is HIV-positive. He was horrified that he might have infected Stephanie -- he didn't; she's been tested and is fine -- but still, it...obviously affected the relationship: to wit, they haven't had sex since he was diagnosed. Dr. Jenn kind of nosily asks whether he knows how he contracted the virus, and he says he had sex with a stripper in Las Vegas, but that he never cheated on Stephanie when they were together, so I guess this was before.

So if Stephanie's HIV-negative, why is she so concerned about Dick going public with his status? He says she's worried about how it will make her look. (It's not stated but I wonder if Stephanie thinks small-minded bigots will assume Dick contracted HIV via gay sex...?) Dr. Jenn, always with a mind to making a good show, assures Dick that it's up to him when and how he shares the truth about his life, and he says he knows, but that he's being protective of Stephanie...by announcing his HIV status on camera against her express wishes. Dr. Jenn, always with a mind to making a good show, further says that "at some point" he's going to have to tell Stephanie that he disclosed his status, telling us, "I don't keep secrets in couples' therapy, but I want to give Evel the opportunity to tell Stephanie himself what he shared with me in his session. If they can't be entirely supportive and honest with each other, they do not stand a chance of making it through this together." I might say that Dick should stay put and go get Stephanie immediately so that he can tell her with Dr. Jenn watching? But I'm not a therapist.

Talking About Dick's Big Secret, Part 3

Dick feels like a weight has been lifted now that he's come out with his announcement, and he really wants to tell the rest of the patients about it, but he knows he needs to tell Stephanie first.

Nikki & Juan Pablo Hate Each Other, In Front Of Everyone Else This Time

Around the fire bench, Stephanie is talking about how she only really likes kids on a case-by-case basis (sure), to which Nikki responds with, "It's like how I feel about old people." WEIRD THING TO SAY. She THes that after the big meeting with Dr. Jenn, she knows she has to be honest about her feelings, so she's going to do that, regardless of the cameras. I THINK Dr. Jenn had said Nikki should talk to JUAN PABLO about this, not about Juan Pablo, in front of him, to a bunch of near-strangers, but Nikki goes with the latter approach anyway, bringing up her job, and how much satisfaction and self-affirmation she gets out of it (what does she do? We don't know), and how that's part of what makes her hesitant about leaving her current city to gamble on a future with Juan Pablo (I'm paraphrasing). Stephanie carefully says that if Nikki had "a little more security with him," she'd be more likely to find a new job in a new city, and asks Juan Pablo what he wants. "I'm so open to anything," he says, which I have to think is not true. Nikki says their relationship won't work if they continue living in different cities (true), but Juan Pablo tells Stephanie (?), "That's her thought." So it...will work if they continue living in different cities, according to him? That means he's cheating on her.

Nikki goes on to say, "I'm already on the edge of 'this isn't working,'" which evidently comes as a surprise to Juan Pablo, who is dumb, inattentive, and insensitive if this information is as new as his reaction would lead one to surmise. In frustration, he turns back to Stephanie (???), and says he's suggested to Nikki that they move to Los Angeles (where neither of them currently lives), but that Nikki has said she won't move if she doesn't have a job. I mean, duh? Nikki tells Stephanie (?????) that it's just talk unless she and Juan Pablo, for instance, go there together and look at apartments. "After getting to know Juan Pablo, like, there's not many guys out there that are, like, good guys anymore," Deena THes. Sure, I can see how spending time with a shithead like him would remind you of that! "And if she has a good one, she should, you know, be flexible." Ohhhhhhh. No. You are not a good judge of character, Deena.

Juan Pablo, now quite irritated, claims that this is the first time Nikki has laid out her reservations and expectations about the proposed Los Angeles move, and I guess I can believe that Nikki is sufficiently passive-aggressive to have hoped he'd figure out on his own what she wanted him to do. Nikki, getting tearful, says she can't just uproot her life and leave her friends and family "and everything that makes you feel safe for 'We'll figure it out.'" Juan Pablo snaps that as soon as she says the word, he's ready to go, adding that he would be making the bigger sacrifice in that case: "I'm leaving my daughter. My daughter is MY BLOOD, and I'm leaving her, because of you." "THEN DON'T!" Nikki yelps. She adds that she has no reason to leave everyone who loves her and makes her feel safe, for him: "I haven't felt that from you? And I'm just like, fuck it. I just-- Like-- You don't give me anything!" God, you idiots. Break up.

Verdict

Worth it for Dick's big announcement, and for this scrap at the end where everyone sucks and is wrong.