Hollywood Game Night Is A Land Of Contrasts

Most Unwelcome Return

Martin Short appeared in the series premiere of Hollywood Game Night, and at that time distinguished himself as the sort of person who cared more about getting attention for himself and his not-very-funny bits than he did about playing the games well on behalf of the non-celebrity whose team he was on and who was trying to win some actual money. One would think that, before returning to the show, someone might have talked to him about trying harder to be part of an ensemble. Nope!

But whatever — if you can't draw attention to yourself in your introduction, when can't you? Sure, and if that were the end of his obnoxious behaviour, I would have let it slide. But here he is in Smash The Buzzer, losing a point and an advantage for his team for a "joke."

And here he is in Off The Top Of My Head, getting frustrated by his own shitty clue-giving and throwing it.

When you have to give the clue "oatmeal" and don't use the word Quaker, you deserve to be banned from game shows for life.

Second-Most Unwelcome Return

Jason Alexander's terrible toupee!

If you've decided that it must be addressed, "poodle belly" is a pretty funny way to describe it. The possum line, less so.

Most Improved Styling

After a season of looking lumpy and weird as the host of Project Runway All-Stars, Alyssa Milano looks fabulous. That peachy colour is tough to wear for almost everyone, but it really sets off her skin tone, and the hair looks breezy and easy.

I'm not sure what's going on with her pants (or calf chaps?), but her silhouette is perfect, so I'll let it go.

Rustiest Hosting Moment (tie)

Other than a Christmas-week special, Jane Lynch hasn't hosted this show since sometime last summer, and in the first of last nights episodes, it really shows. First, in Celebrity Fusion, after giving two clues on Billy Joel McHale, she ends the guessing on this mixed-up pair of faces after just one.

Later, in Smash The Buzzer, when Lester screws up on an answer, Lynch apparently forgets that she's supposed to let the opposing team decide whom to dismiss...

...which by the way the smart play earlier in THAT game would have been to keep Short around to keep fucking up.

Worst-Directed Game

Here's a thought: if the point of Lil' Picassos is to be the fastest to identify the subject of a portrait drawn by a kid, how about the camera is close-up on the portrait as soon as the drape is removed?

Sparker Of Most Conflicted Emotions

Julie Bowen is my celebrity nemesis, so I was prepared to hate her, and I did...mostly. I hated how she tried to dismiss her poor performance at Celebrity Jeopardy!.

But I loved her pleather-fronted sweater. But I hated her cold, unmoving face after her Timeline win.

But I couldn't deny that she did a pretty good Mick Jagger.

Best New Game/Reaction

Hooray for new Hot Potato-style game Clue-Boom, which is tense fun to watch and culminates with a spectacular reaction from one of the players.

Delightful!