From 'Pauper's Pizza' To Secret Scholarship, We Rank Rogelio's Best Moments From Jane The Virgin's Midseason Finale

For its midseason finale, Jane The Virgin advances a lot of plots: Michael and Susanna rule a candidate as Luisa's mother/Mutter (probably some of you care about that one? Whenever it comes up, it goes in my notes as "police shit"); Magda figures out that Petra's getting squirrelly about the murder Magda committed and Petra helped cover up, so Magda turns Petra in before Petra can out her; Professor Chavez, monster no more, punishes Wesley for his Ocean Drive story on Jane's behalf. But none of that is terribly compelling since all those scenes lack one extremely important element: Rogelio De La Vega. My Christmas gift to you, therefore, is a countdown of his best moments from "Chapter Thirty" -- even though, of course, it should really just be a seven-way tie.

1. Breaking Up With Michael
   This one goes last because it's so very sad! As we all know, Rogelio has treasured his friendship with Michael, and even though he knows that Jane -- with good reason -- has cut off contact with Michael, he asks his new intern JD what the "protocol" is with regard to continuing to hang out with Michael. Wisely, JD tells Rogelio he can't, but Rogelio has a hard time taking no for an answer, and orchestrates a "surprise" encounter with Michael at his favourite coffee place to raise the question with Michael himself: if Rogelio were to clear it with Jane, would Michael maybe...want to...HANG? Michael imagines saying yes, as he would secretly like to do, but instead lets Rogelio down as easy as he can: "I just think it's better for me if we all kind of...move on."
   

   "Really? Just like that?" It softens the blow for the viewer to know that Michael's gentle rejection isn't actually what's in his heart, but poor Rogelio doesn't! Still, kudos to him for giving in to his vulnerability!

2. Being Revealed As Jane's Secret Benefactor
   Jane's trying to make an appointment with the dean to talk about Wesley when the receptionist mentions that they haven't received her tuition payment for the next semester. Jane says there must be a mistake: she's been awarded the "Elodea Gale Vigor" scholarship -- "a needs-based scholarship for writing the committee loves." OR HAS SHE?
   

   I love that Rogelio wanted to give Jane an anonymous gift, but still couldn't help finding a way to credit himself anyway. Bonus: when Jane calls the number associated with the scholarship, we get a new version of Rogelio's personal theme song!

3. Telling Xiomara Why He Feels A Kinship With Both Jane's Exes
   It doesn't come up much anymore that Xiomara kept Jane's existence a secret from Rogelio for most of Jane's life, but...that is the case, and since Rogelio's already shown his vulnerability once with Michael, it comes up again as Rogelio tells Xo how her dismissal of Rafael, Mateo's biological father, brings back his own bad feelings of having missed important moments in his child's life due to personal stuff with that child's mom. Xo considers his position and gains a little empathy, and maybe a little maturity as well.
4. Coining A New Name For Plain Pizza
   Rogelio's new budget means that while he can still order pizza for delivery, "just not from a place with 'Osteria' in the name." Rogelio, grudgingly, adjusts.
   

   Stealing it.

5. Sharing The Villanuevas' Very Merry Christmas
   After Jane finally lets Rogelio know that she's figured out he's "Elodea Gale Vigor" (and doesn't correct him when he expresses his relief that he already paid her tuition for the whole year -- if he's getting plain pizza, he's got enough problems), Rogelio gets to enjoy not just the honour of placing the treasured Christmas angel, handmade by the late Grandpa Mateo himself, on the tree...
   

   ...but the celebration of Alba's long-awaited Christmas gift: her green card. Xo may have kept him out of the family for decades, but Rogelio's making up for lost time in ways that might have made some people mist up a little bit! (Factual note: as a green card holder, I can tell you from experience that while waiting for the card to show up can take a little while -- in my case it was around a month -- you find out about your approval well before that. Alba would not be in doubt about it.)

6. His "CALM"
   A runner through the episode is Alba's anti-tantrum technique of having soothing touchstones to make up the acronym "CALM." And when Rogelio -- mistakenly, as it turns out -- thinks JD has leaked a story about him to the tabloids...
   

   ...his "CALM" is obviously the episode's best one.