Let's Count Down The Best Visual Jokes Of Britney Spears's Visit To Jane The Virgin

If an objective person were to tell you the most important plot development of the latest Jane The Virgin, he or she would probably tell you it was the speed bumps on Alba's road to a green card application -- the revelation that would-be sponsor Xiomara still had a felony conviction on her record from a youthful shoplifting indiscretion, followed by Xiomara and Alba's unwitting consumption of a weed chocolate bar moments before they were supposed to go meet with the State's Attorney about having Xiomara's conviction vacated, and then Alba and Xiomara's high-dea to solve the problem themselves by inducing the actual former shoplifter (and current drug dealer) to own up to his crime by threatening to destroy his "masterpiece" of a mural. Or maybe he or she would say it was the confirmation that Jane's announcement that she'd decided to smash up her love triangle by choosing Michael (though not his confession about letting Nadine go, though Rafael finds that out too, before the episode ends), and went on to break up with Rafael, only to realize Michael wasn't a good choice either when he started a physical fight with Rafael about ratting him out to Susanna that led to collateral damage in the form of Mateo cutting his arm on a piece of flying glass broken in the skirmish. So yes, Jane has ended things with both the unspectacular men in her life, which I guess means she has been getting my letters! Probably no one would say the most important part involved Susanna exposing Michael for breaking into their lieutenant's office to watch the video of her interrogation of the tipster who reported Michael for helping fugitive Nadine (it wasn't Rafael) and getting stripped of his badge and gun, because Michael's career and his pursuit of Sin Rostro are boring. No one would be likely to say the most important part was that Petra agreed to marry Milos and we got to find out how devious he's been the whole time she's known him and also that he's an arms dealer now, because no one cares whether bad things happen to Petra because SHE'S A PRETTY BAD PERSON AND DESERVES IT.

My point is that I'm not an objective person, so all of the above paled, for me, in comparison to the long-promised revelation of the feud between Rogelio and Britney Spears. While Petra had wanted a very small celebration of her coerced nuptials with Milos, he has a lot of money and a lot of obsession with Petra and he wants this thing to be big and splashy, and hires Britney to be the "main act" at the event. When Jane runs into Britney by chance as she's checking into the Marbella (where Milos has decreed that the wedding will be held, because where else would it be), she texts the news and a creepshot to Xiomara, who reports it to an enraged Rogelio: "She will finally have to face me....We happen to be in a bit of a feud. A BIG FEUD, actually! I don't know why I'm downplaying it: I'm DONE protecting Britney Spears!!!"

As their storyline continues, we learn exactly what went down between Britney and Rogelio. I won't say the producers tailored the storyline to Britney's...um...let's call them "dainty" acting talents (as long as you understand by that I mean "very very small indeed") and made many of the important moments visual rather than full of talking, which Britney is not so great with. With that in mind, we've ranked the sight gags of the Britney/Rogelio storyline from "good" to "super-awesome"!

1. Rogelio Takes Physical Offense

   Once he hears from Jane that Britney is at the Marbella, he grabs a newspaper to stake out the lobby...

   

   ...and confront her, his angry words underscored with a series of takes that grow increasingly furious as Britney continues pretending she doesn't know who he is.

   
2. Rogelio's Bad Vine

   After he attacks Britney at the hotel, Rogelio isn't just served a restraining order by Britney; he also gets attacked on his own turf -- social media -- when a certain "Amy Marshall" publishes an embarrassing Vine of him being escorted out. Since the Vine doesn't seem to be real (alas), a gif will have to do.

   
3. The Anti-Rogelio Flyer

   I mean.

   

   Of course he's "OFTEN SEEN WEARING PURPLE": that's the colour in which he's most likely to pop!!!

4. @IAmNotRogelio

   Rogelio has a fake account in which he tweets out the stuff that's so self-serving it would be unseemly even for him to do it in his own name.

   

   And this one IS real.

5. Jane's Dance Break

   When Jane spots Britney Spears checking in, the pop star is immediately drawn to her: "I think there's something about you I can tell you have rhythm do you like to dance?" (I don't know, I guess that was her best take.) Jane does like to dance, and some impromptu choreo breaks out.

   

   ...Yeah, it's just a fantasy. It's still fun.

6. The Look Britney Borrowed From Rogelio

   Maybe you remember Britney in a certain red patent pleather catsuit from the video for "Oops I Did It Again."

   What this episode challenges you to determine is...

   

   ...who wore it better?