When Detroit Tries To Light Him Up, Boyd Hatches A Plan

Smoke Gets In Your Hand

The Symbol: Boyd's cigarette.

The Scene: Teri wants to do something "nice" for Boyd, to "clear his mind," in the sense of "sucking his cock"; when he politely declines, taking one of her cigarettes instead, she comments that she's never known him to be a smoker, and he says that he hasn't been for years, but that maybe "the time has come to start making some changes."

The Meaning: Boyd's so distraught and nihilistic after his breakup with Ava that he doesn't care about anything anymore and THAT'S IT. (Spoiler: that's not it.)

The Problem With Kids Today

While Art, as promised, personally handles Alison's protective detail, and she makes him promise that Raylan isn't, in fact, lying on a slab someplace, they quickly find common ground the way all people who know Raylan do: by shit-talking Raylan behind his back.

Unseen Shooter vs. Art (And Alison, I Guess)

Alison has finally finished packing and steps out of her apartment first; Art gently ushers her back inside until he can clear the hall...whereupon someone we don't see starts shooting. Art fires back, but we don't see if he hits his target. When the dust settles and both Art and Alison are back inside her apartment, he sees she's covered in blood, and assumes she's been hit, but she says it's not her blood! IT'S HIS!!!

Winner: Unseen shooter!

Work Of Art

Who called the meeting? Raylan, I suppose.

What's it about? Art's shooting.

How'd it go? It's pretty rough. Art is alive (Raylan's just dropped Mrs. Art off to see him), but he's in extremely critical condition: he lost consciousness in the ambulance, and he hasn't regained it since; and he was so good at protecting Alison that she didn't see anything. Rachel points out that Art did just shoot Theo Tonin not very long ago, but Raylan is pretty certain that Darryl is behind it, particularly once he hears that the State Police report that Audrey's is closed. Raylan and Art are prepared to go after Darryl, but Rachel tells them that it's not up to them to decide how to proceed, since Ed is coming from Detroit to lead the investigation and run the office. But as soon as Rachel walks away, Tim's like, "Kirkland's due within the hour. After that, our options shrink," and Raylan's all, "You talking about any particular option?" and Tim's like, "The one where we catch up with Darryl out in the wide world." Raylan's like, "You'd be on board for that?" and Tim goes, "It's Art," and Raylan says, "You think that's what he would want?" "I think he'd do it for us," Tim shoots back. "All due respect, Tim?" says Raylan. "I don't think you know Art as well as I do." I think Raylan's probably right...but I also think Darryl doesn't live to see the end of the season, and so do you. (And so does Art, probably.)

Ed, The New Head

You think when Art picked Ed to be his temp replacement, he didn't brief him on which deputy marshals to keep an eye on? Come on.

Drug Lords And Lady

Who called the meeting? Wynn.

What's it about? Drugs -- specifically, the portion of the full heroin shipment from Mexico that hasn't apparently fallen into a black hole.

How'd it go? It starts kind of hostile, with Boyd getting frisked and re-frisked, allowed to keep nothing but his pack of cigarettes -- a new habit, as Wynn observes. Boyd then gets pulled up short by the sight of new face Katherine (who is not introduced to him), but he shakes it off well enough to proceed. How did Raylan seize half the shipment, Wynn asks? That's for Darryl to answer, Boyd replies, and notes that he's running for his life in light of Art's shooting. Picker wants Boyd to "explain on Darryl's behalf," to which Boyd answers, "Mr. Picker, the only explaining I've ever done in my life was to my mama, when she caught me sneaking in after my curfew, and you ain't my mama. But I'll indulge you with a short answer to your question: shit happens, Mr. Picker." Wynn asks about the rest. "And sometimes it don't," says Boyd easily. We know that he's told Carl and Jimmy to hide the drugs somewhere Boyd doesn't even know about, as insurance, so that he can truthfully tell his sometime business partners that if they kill him, they'll never get it. Katherine is amused by Boyd, who recognizes her as the widow of a "Big Country Grady Hale." Katherine says that Wynn has brought her there to figure out if there's a reason why Wynn shouldn't kill Boyd. "Other than my winning personality?" Boyd fishes his cigarettes out of his pocket, and just as Wynn is telling him they're in a non-smoking suite...a fuckload of marshals bust in with guns drawn. Some information is shared, but it's interrupted inconclusively, so I would call it at C- meeting even before everyone gets arrested and shit.

Picker, Not Grinning

Who called the meeting? Raylan.

What's it about? Art's shooting.

How'd it go? Picker is not happy -- he calls Tim a "rat-faced little prick" and accuses him of having "tweaked" Picker's back when Tim was apprehending him -- and he only gets less happy when Raylan informs him that Tonin identified Picker as Art's shooter. He'll get 40 to life, and it'll be even more if Art dies. Picker is pissed that he played ball the last time Raylan and Picker talked and now he's getting railroaded. "Why would I help you besides the fact that you're an asshole?" he asks. "There is no other reason," Raylan replies. So Picker tells Raylan that he heard Art's shooter was Darryl, but that he only met the guy once and doesn't know where he is. And then Raylan hears that Picker was definitely at the hotel at the time of Art's shooting, so it's a pretty good meeting for Picker.

There's Always Time For A Friendly Catch-Up

It seems that Katherine and Vasquez first met in court when he was prosecuting her late husband, and it was apparently not a happy experience for either of them.

Tricks, No Treats

Situation: Wendy called the office to say that Darryl wants to turn himself in, but that he'll only surrender to Raylan.

What Makes It Awkward? Raylan shows up to the motel room where Wendy told him to come, but not alone; also, Darryl isn't there, doy.

How is order restored? Darryl (with Kendal in tow) does surrender...but he walks himself in to the Marshals' office, while Raylan's gone.

700 Sundaes

The Symbol: Single-serving ice cream!

The Scene: As Penny and Ava discuss the fact that the guards haven't detained anyone for killing Judith and are just waiting to see which inmate Judith's girls target for retaliation, a bunch of them get up and approach Ava's table...but then they all put their ice cream cups in front of Ava.

The Meaning: Taking out the queen bee earns you grateful tributes of frozen treats!

Kendal's New Name Is Patsy

Having blood-oathed Darryl in the last episode, I guess Kendal didn't think he had a choice about taking the fall for what is almost certainly Darryl's shooting of Art. Against counsel's advice, he tells a room filled with Vasquez, Raylan, Rachel, Tim, and many others that he used Danny's gun, and came after Art because "law's been hounding [his] family for years." He claims he thought that, Raylan having killed Danny (...I mean, not really), Raylan would target Kendal next, so he wanted to be ready and protect Wendy and himself. When he saw Art's star, he assumed it was Raylan and just started shooting. He didn't want to hurt anybody, but he didn't want to die and leave Wendy all alone, either. Wendy sobs so hard that I have to think she's starting to figure out that she needs to cut ties? Finally? Maybe? Or maybe it will take her getting her face kicked in again? Because if so, I'm willing to perform that service.

Boyd et al, released from custody, reconvene in Wynn's suite! When the marshals busted in before, Boyd was about to tell Katherine why he thinks he should be allowed to live, but he says he doesn't owe her an explanation! He apologizes to Wynn and Picker for the failure of their business endeavours, but he's not going to beg Wynn for his life either! He offers Wynn half of Boyd's share of the shipment, whereupon they can part ways! But Wynn is all, "Half a half doesn't make me whole!" Picker starts in on how mad their Mexican connections are! Wynn tells him to shut up! Boyd offers Picker a cigarette to help him relax, and after pinching the pack, he throws it to Picker...

...AND PICKER BLOWS THE FUCK UP!!! Boyd reminds everyone that he's still great at making things explode! He turns Mike's gun on Wynn and Katherine and tells them that his offer still stands! SEEMS FAIR TO ME!

Now that they have Kendal's signed (false) confession, Ed's going back to Detroit, leaving in charge Art's own pick for interim chief! And it's Rachel!

Raylan goes in to talk to Darryl, and suggest an alternate version of "Kendal's" crime, which is basically that Darryl went to Alison's to try to draw who he assumed would be Raylan into a showdown, but then the sight of Art startled him and he just started wildly shooting, like the idiot he is! And then Darryl saw on the news that he'd shot the Chief and panicked and came up with this absurd story that Kendal did it! Darryl denies it, of course! Raylan is concerned that Kendal's going to come out of juvie a different kid, but that's just fine with Darryl, who says that he let Kendal "go pussy"! Darryl tries to goad Raylan into getting violent with him, but Raylan isn't going to kill Darryl: "Doesn't mean I don't want to," particularly since Darryl shot "the one man who means something" to Raylan! Darryl tries to compare Art's shooting to whatever part Raylan had in Danny's death, but Raylan's not having it: "That web of bullshit you spun around yourself? To protect yourself? I'm going to use it to strangle the life out of you, and take away everything you've got. Then you're going to wish I'd blacked you out with a bullet to the head"!

And then Raylan drives to the hospital and relieves the marshal on duty guarding Art's hospital room and it's kind of anticlimactic but there are still two more episodes left for stuff to get ALL FUCKED UP IN!!!!!