50 Shades Of Grey Gets The SVU Treatment

Initial Crime

Jocelyn Paley (Anna Chlumsky), the bestselling author of BDSM novel 25 Acts, appears on talk show Raising Cain, after which she goes for flirty drinks with the show's host, Adam Cain (Roger Bart). She goes home with him for sex, which turns into rape.

Real Crime

Jocelyn didn't actually write the book; Kathleen Dobson (Romy Rosemont), Jocelyn's former Italian Renaissance prof at college, wrote it and enlisted Jocelyn to take credit for it so that Kathleen's reputation as an academic wouldn't be compromised.

Headlines This Was Ripped From

If it's possible that you've never heard of E.L. James's 50 Shades Of Grey, I wish I lived in your world.

How Was the Real Story Fictionalized?

Phony though E.L. James's name may sound, as far as anyone knows she really did write her crappy books.

Famous Guest Star Who Obviously Did It

Rosemont isn't exactly famous, but her face is recognizable enough from her work as a character actor that it's clear when she shows up that she'll have some kind of involvement in Jocelyn's life beyond just being a former professor.

It's 9 PM, Y'All!

"She has anal fissures and a severe ligature mark on her neck." - Benson (Mariska Hargitay).

Who on the SVU Team Is Taking It Personally?

Everyone's pretty chill this week, actually, although Rollins (Kelli Giddish) has at least read the book.

Verdict

Guilty.

Revelations about the Continuing Characters' Personal Lives That We Should Remember Going Forward

Captain Harris (Adam Baldwin) suggests to Benson that she'd make a good squad captain, and she says it's come up before but that she doesn't want to manage anyone like herself; he offers to be her rabbi anyway. Also, Amaro has asked to be switched off from being Benson's partner because she doubted his rectitude in the season premiere.