Is Married At First Sight: The First Year's Dr. Pepper The First Person Ever To Criticize Jamie To Her Face?

Is Jason wearing lip gloss?

I'm sure he he wants to pop on camera.

But that's a bit much for the barbershop.

Why is the show still trying to make Neph happen?

HE'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. He's not cute. He's not interesting. He's not smart, if he thinks "a handful amount of time" is a phrase anyone has ever used. Even Dr. Pepper, apparently bullied into commenting on his whole deal, can't pretend she thinks it's a good idea for Jasmine to move in with Clan Neph, both because Jasmine and Neph barely know each other and because they're not going to get to know each other when the entire rest of Neph's family is crowding them. I would also add that for someone who thinks he's gotten so wise about spotting relationship red flags, Neph apparently has no sense of his own, because: lives at home AND has only been divorced fifteen months? NO AND NO, SIR. That said: I'm pretty sure now that she's here one of my questions about the next episode is going to be "What's wrong with Jasmine?" if she's willing to dive headlong into, like, fifteen bad decisions all at once?

Also, what the hell was that reaction to Jason's talk about his absent father's family?

What seems the most likely is that Jason's wish to reconnect with his father's family seems like a good storyline for him if things between him and Cortney have settled down, so Production told him to go raise the subject with Neph, and no one told Neph that was on the docket. Neph's strangely angry response to Jason's even bringing up the existence of the man who got his mother pregnant with Jason in the first place, though, just underlines for me the likelihood that Jason actually doesn't really care that much about his father and is just making it an issue now for the sake of the show -- because, if Jason really has been as close to Neph's family his whole life as he says, and if he really did have a palpable pain from the dad-shaped hole in his psyche or whatever, this would have come up before. Neph would know that Jason has half-siblings he hasn't met; none of this would be a surprise or, certainly, anything to get mad about. That conversation went so badly, in fact, that I kind of can't believe it even made it into the edit? Anyway, speaking as someone who hasn't had contact with her biological father in more than twenty years: eh. Jason doesn't need to know his father to be a good father to his own hypothetical children. And given what a void Jason's father has been in Jason's own life, I fail to see what learning more about him is going to teach Jason about fatherhood other than how not to do it.

Can we talk about the story of Jamie's ex for a quick second?

After many mentions of this dude in the season superteases, this is the episode where we get to learn some facts about him: he's older than she is (way older, given that she says he has children who are in their twenties); they were together four years; they broke up because he didn't want kids. First of all, I'm actually a little surprised Jamie volunteers the length of their relationship given my suspicions that she's not as twenty-nine as she claims to be. Jamie was on The Bachelor in early 2012, meaning it was probably filmed in late 2011. At the time, Jamie was officially twenty-five. So if she'd been out of this other very serious relationship for what was probably a minimum of six months before starting on The Bachelor, then they started seeing each other when she was twenty-one or younger. But we also already know that Jamie took custody of her siblings when she was nineteen -- so was she just done raising them when she started dating this guy? If not, which seems likely, and they broke up because he didn't want to have more kids, he was okay having her siblings around and her parenting them when he was trying to be her boyfriend for the four years prior to that? OR, was she actually done parenting her siblings after five years or so and thus is MUCH OLDER THAN SHE CLAIMS? I'm just saying, it's suspicious!

Also suspicious: that even though the thing she and Doug apparently fight about the most is that she wants to have children yesterday and he doesn't, why is she even entertaining the fantasy of getting back with this no-kids-wanting ex? Is it maybe more likely that she has lots of other, shallower reasons to dump Doug and that the kid thing is the most convenient and makes her look the least shitty on TV?

Is Dr. Pepper really "shocked" to hear that Jamie thinks she might have made a mistake by marrying Doug?

1. Jamie agreed to marry a stranger.
2. Jamie hated Doug on sight.
3. Jamie wouldn't let Doug touch her until she determined that she wanted to stay married to him.

That they're having problems now is not shocking, it's EXTREMELY EXPECTED, and someone who styles herself a therapist should be a tiny bit more insightful.

Why are Jamie and I the only ones grossed out by Doug's finances?

I said it last week and I'll say it again: I am not crazy about taking Jamie's side in any argument. But Doug should pay his own bills! I am not a crackpot and neither is Jamie! In fact, the more this subject is discussed this week, the worse it gets: whereas last week it seemed like the elder Hehners were just sending cheques out for Doug's car payments because Doug was too lazy or shiftless to do it himself but that he was actually reimbursing them after the fact, this week, when Jamie has her one-on-one talk with Dr. Pepper, it sounds like Doug's parents are just straight up making Doug's car payment with their own money, or else why would she be all "His parents are retired" about it? If Doug's parents were doing him a solid by making the payments when he was unemployed, that's one thing. But now he's not, and if he's doing well enough that he can get Jamie a car, he should pay for his own shit. I really think Jamie's not wrong about this! That said....

Based on what she knows of Jamie, does Dr. Pepper believe that telling her to "do a little more acceptance and a little less criticism" is going to work?

If all of us in the audience know there is a 0% chance Jamie has the ability to alter her personality in that way, Dr. Pepper, HER THERAPIST, should know that too. The proof of how wrong Dr. Pepper is about Jamie's capacity for change is evident in the scene in which Jamie tries (not hard) to apologize to Doug. First, she makes it clear she's doing so at Dr. Pepper's direction. Then, she haughtily defends her position even as she's supposed to be in the middle of being sorry about the way she expressed herself on the subject. Has Jamie ever apologized to anyone for anything? It kind of seems like she might not have!

Is Dr. Pepper the first person ever to criticize Jamie to her face?

After talking to Jamie on her own over Skype, and then coming to the house to get Doug's side, Dr. Pepper sits the couple down together to discuss her observations. My first observation is that Jamie hates it when Doug touches her.

Dr. Pepper then brings up the car payment discussion Doug and Jamie had had in the last episode, saying that Jamie was, in Dr. Pepper's opinion, being "abusive" about it. Almost immediately, Jamie starts crying at this characterization of her behaviour, and since that can't be the first time Jamie's been abusive, I'm going to say it's the first time she's been called on it. Dr. Pepper not only stands by her assessment even as Jamie cries about it, but adds that it's a view she formed based on Jamie's own description of what she did during that spat, which is kind of remarkable for how little sense Jamie has of how she comes across to others. Where Dr. Pepper loses me is when she goes on to say that even though she recognizes Jamie's behaviour was hurtful, she doesn't think Doug was hurt by it (...'kay?), and then turns it into a discussion of why Doug and Jamie aren't having more sex. Can I field this one, Dr. P? It's because they hate each other.