I'm still, like, a little hesitant about tonight, and sleeping together. Don't touch me!
You almost said no. I did?
Yeah. You think so?
No. I don't-- I don't remember that well. It was such a big blur. [covering face] Oh my god.
There was no way I felt like sex the wedding night. How could I possibly be, like, intimate? Instead, we just...talked.
I'm very excited for the wedding night -- not because I expect to get any on the wedding night; you know, it's obviously up to her, but I'm going to at least try to touch her shoulder or something.
That couch was really comfortable, I was thinking maybe you could sleep on it. Yeah, if you like that, that's fine.
Oh -- I thought, for you, you really liked it. Can I sleep in the bed?
You can sleep on that side, and I'll sleep on this side. And you can face that way and I'll face that way.
You know, I just laid out the rules, and it wasn't a shocker for him at that time. You know, like, he figured it out quickly that there was going to be no hanky-panky involved. We didn't even kiss.
This ring means I get to make all the calls.
You're not really following the rules. You're inching your way closer to me.
Jamie didn't remember my name from the wedding.
This is my side; this is your side.
Yesterday, it was, like, 99% not working. 'Cause you, like, cried the whole entire wedding yesterday. You have cute tears, though.
And you were very nice. I think I handled it well.
Yeah, well, except when you started touching me. Yeah.
I hated that.
Oh my god! It's a condom! What are you, expecting to get lucky, huh? That's my friends for you.
Not happening.
We might be the first married couple to go weeks without having sex. And he's, like, totally okay with it, and he seems to be, like, happy. I don't know. Like, he was like, 'Oh, I almost prefer it that way.' Really?! Like, how did they find someone that would be, like, quirky and okay with my quirks?
The last twenty-four hours have been the worst roller coaster I've ever been on. I guess I had a picture in my mind of, like, how this whole experience would be for me; there was going to be chemistry and romance and none of that happened, and I'm like, 'This is not going to work out for me.' You know, he's not, like, a model. It was so weird and wrong and awkward. And it's really scary. It's really, really scary. He's, like, a super-nice guy, but the instant attraction is not there.
Why are you excited? Because I got a seat next to my wife.
Oh my gosh. Can we not say that 'w' word?
I definitely feel very awkward around Doug, so when I see the honeymoon suite, and the bed and beautiful views and all this, I'm not, like, 'Oh, I can't wait to sleep in bed with Doug!' I'm like, 'If I had the option, I'd probably sleep in a different bed than him.'
[finding Doug's shorts in her suitcase] We're not that level yet, Doug.
Right now I'm working on just being a likable guy so she wants to have fun and hang out with me.
[Doug starts to change into his swimsuit] Not in front of me.
I could barely even look at him. I feel, just, like, it just doesn't feel right.
You're trying to hold my hand. Stop trying to hold my hand!
I just felt so weird. I never would let him touch me.
I didn't want to always focus on each other. I wanted to, like, stay busy, so I hopefully wouldn't feel so awkward, you know?
If you could plan a really romantic date, what would you do? Breakfast in bed.
That's it?
[when Doug gets stung by a jellyfish] I'm not comfortable with you touching me, but I'll pee on your foot.
Doug and I agreed that we're not going to call our honeymoon a honeymoon, because that's just really weird and it freaks me out. So we're just going to call it a vacation where two people get to know each other, and we're going to be friends!
Now that she's starting to warm up a little bit and stand next to me without tensing up, I'm hoping to start to chip away at that connection.
You go over there.
Every single day we're getting closer and closer, which is kind of cool, because she's starting to get comfortable with me, which is amazing from where she was Day 1 to where she is now, like, Day 5.
It feels more natural with him touching me. I'm just used to it.
This is the closest I've let you be to me. Ever. And I'm not, like, freaking out.
I gotta shower for our romantic dinner. Can we not call it a romantic dinner?
Okay.
I don't expect to have sex with Jamie at all, but I'm looking forward to a kiss. Honestly.
I finally got a kiss at the last dinner, which was-- It was phenomenal.
I can't believe I kissed him. He doesn't know I like him. I'm going to keep it a secret.