'Women Like Dainty Little Wee TVs, Not Icky Big Ones.' - Marry Me

After the Marry Me pilot established that Annie had resolved not to live with Jake until they were at least engaged, and now that that's happened, after six years, it's time for the two of them to combine households. As in life, this presents logistical problems -- particularly since Jake apparently hasn't downsized anything from his own old apartment other than the actual furniture -- but the first point of contention is also the least believable. Annie doesn't want a giant TV?!

I guess we all have to feel a little bad for people who write romcoms in this year of our Lord 2014, because so many tropes of the genre have grown so hoary with overuse or just expired; it's particularly apropos that this second episode also features Jake calling out Annie for babbling like bad '90s standup when she gets uncomfortable, since "bad '90s standup" also covers so many observations about how women be like this and men be like that. But making it a plot point that Annie thinks that tiny little computer monitor is acceptable to use as a television is just absurd.

Do women like small, dainty things? Sure, if you're talking about clutches or handguns or vibrators. But there's no "from Venus" reason women should deprive themselves of the thrill of seeing Heidi Klum's otherworldly poreless skin at larger than actual size. If you love TV -- and the episode establishes that Annie does, both because she says so in so many words and when she goes on to watch five episodes of The Real Housewives Of Orange County on her phone in her car -- you love watching TV on the largest monitor you can afford, at the highest resolution the FCC will allow.

Furthermore, having a TV in the bathroom? IS A GREAT IDEA. I don't know why Annie dismisses the idea as fit only for Dave & Buster's when The Wynn, hands down the classiest hotel I ever stayed in (in Las Vegas BUT STILL), boasted a bathroom TV as a feature. In my current apartment, I have to make do with a Bluetooth speaker that allows me to listen to podcasts while I shower, because a moment not spent consuming media is a moment wasted. But I'm about to move into a house, and after this week's Marry Me, I'm prioritizing "bathroom TV" over "fixing up ugly '80s kitchen."

That this episode comes on the heels of a supposedly funny tweet (which I couldn't track down but TAKE MY WORD FOR IT) about how women never care whether they're watching the HD channel offends me both as a woman and as a lover of TV. If this is actually true of most women -- and I don't believe it is -- then women have to either educate themselves about technology or get their eyes checked or give themselves permission to enjoy the best of what life has to offer. Annie: embrace that giant TV. What's the point of watching Housewives if you can't see their eye jobs with crystal clarity?!

(Unrelated but important: the tease about the ceremonial changing of the soups at the buffet is the definition of a great payoff.)