Screens: ABC
Groping Toward An Explanation For This Astonishingly Terrible Outfit
We interrupt your ignorance of the existence of Mistresses to generate a list of guesses as to how Shannyn Sossamon came to be wearing...this.
Braid-detail headband. Polyester tie-back wrap blouse in an ugly floral print. Button-front dark denim skirt which even though we don't see the hem you just know hits at mid-calf. Why?
- Alex (Shannyn Sossamon) lost a bet.
- Alex doesn't own a full-length mirror.
- This was Alex's great-grandmother's favourite outfit and Alex is wearing it to commemorate the anniversary of said great-grandmother's death.
- Alex teaches yoga to kindergarten kids. In 1979.
- Alex teaches yoga to FLDS sister wives.
- Alex is an FLDS sister wife to a very tolerant husband who doesn't mind her hooking up with ladies.
- Alex is coming straight from a costume party which she attended as Mary Campbell from Soap.
- Alex's shirt got caught in an elevator door and ripped to shreds and she made this thing out of a curtain (no explanation available for the skirt).
- Alex spent her evening participating in a Helen Roper flash mob.
- Alex's torso is one inch long.
- Alex wears this outfit not to draw attention to herself when she shoplifts magazines.
- Shannyn Sossamon was specifically trying to buck L Word-perpetuated stereotypes and show that even a sexy young Los Angeles lesbian might dress like she's bringing a hotdish to a Pennsylvania baby shower.
- Shannyn Sossamon is wearing this as part of a stealth campaign to land the role of frumpy first wife in a future Johnny Cash biopic.
- Alex ran out of underpants and chose this sexless outfit to ensure that no one would find out.
- Alex gets cold easily and chose this bulky outfit to hide her long johns.
- Alex is a freegan and only wears clothing she finds tossed out van windows by women helping their husbands conceal kidnapped girls in special compartments under their bed and/or in secret sex dungeons.
- Alex is coming from visiting a relative in a men's prison and deliberately chose an outfit that wouldn't give any of the inmates "ideas."
- Alex is coming from a charity spaghetti-eating contest where she wasn't allowed to use her hands, and chose a top that would hide the mess.
- Alex realized she can't keep up with the overly sexy day looks sported by Joss (Jes Macallan) and straight gave up.
- Shannyn Sossamon kept spitting her gum on the floor of the wardrobe trailer and this get-up is her punishment.