'My Generation Will Not Tolerate Boring'

Mavericky Origin Story

Christiano Covino tells us that his Mischievious Studios, which specializes in branded viral videos, doesn't employ anyone over the age of twenty-six because the old forms of advertising are dying and they represent the future, old man! I guess in the future everyone will have given up on the actual word "mischievous."

Legitimately Impressive Credentials

Both Mischievious and their opponent agency, Heavenspot, have worked with big names: Mischievious names Allstate, Intel, and Dannon; Heavenspot cites Adobe, Motorola, and Warner Bros.

Insufferable Executive

Fucking Christiano.

Self-Consciously Quirky Office

Fucking Mischievious.

The Fear?

Michael Romero of Heavenspot tells us that he stays up nights worrying about how the agency is going to keep up with its bills, and yeah, if he's stressing that much about paying for toilet paper, things don't sound great. Heavenspot also employs more than twenty people, whereas if things don't work out for the much leaner three-man Mischievious crew, they can all just go to grad school or something. Did they mention no one who works there is older than twenty-six? Their COO is actually twenty-three!

Backpack Alert!

What The Client Says It Wants

SquareTrade is a warranty company looking to increase positive awareness among consumers, since everyone hates warranty companies. SquareTrade wants a campaign that will communicate how easy it is to get a claim dealt with, but they don't want to do anything that seems "advertising-y." This is good news for Mischievious! They also want videos. Even more good news for Mischievious! They also want "campaigns on boards" and a platform where SquareTrade customers can share stories of their great SquareTrade experiences, which must integrate with the company's Facebook page. This is bad news for Mischievious.

Cringily Unearned Moment Of Self-Congratulation

Christiano's concept for the video is a "five stages of grief" that the consumer goes through when he breaks his phone. The whole office thinks this is hilarious! Even Christiano's sisters!

The...Uh, Pitch

Rather than try to compete with Mischievious on video virality, Heavenspot creates a 30-second animated clip that runs through all the most likely places potential customers might lose or break their stuff, thereby requiring redress from SquareTrade. The clients seem amused but not blown away by it. Heavenspot's big idea for a sharing platform is the Happiness Tracker, whereby SquareTrade customers would show their contacts how easily and quickly their SquareTrade claims are moving through the system. SquareTrade's Chief Marketing Officer Ty Shay asks, "Do you think we're being honest with ourselves? Will people really share these stories?" The answer is either "Of course not" or "No one would bother to share a story of a warranty claim unless they're mad about it, but you wanted a sharing platform so choke on it," but Heavenspot Creative Director Chevon Hicks bullshits, "The Happiness Tracker is a great way for people to share their stories because we feel that your customers will have a natural curiosity to sort of track their claim. People want to get their phones back as quickly as possible, and the Happiness Tracker allows them to do that and share their progress with their friends." Yes, but just because it allows them to share it doesn't mean they will share it, which was the question, hello.

Mischievious is proud as hell of their stages of grief video, which I must admit comes out pretty well, and the client is delighted by it. Their idea for creating a SquareTrade community revolves around the idea of customers getting the chance to give a SquareTrade non-customer a "second chance": the way it works is that a SquareTrade customer creates a video touting his or her great SquareTrade claims experience and also giving a friend a coupon, essentially, for the non-customer friend to replace his or her device through SquareTrade. Shay is right on top of this one, too: "Do you think it could cause any animosity, among people who paid for SquareTrade, for people who didn't, you know, pay for it, that they're getting their stuff fixed for free?" The answer is "If someone wants to go to the hassle of creating and sharing a video in exchange for it, I think people who paid for their warranty but have actual shit to do in their lives would think, 'More power to them,' because let's face it, the people who are actually going to take advantage of it could fit in a bathroom stall," but Christiano bullshits, "I feel like, you know, I can definitely see how that would be a concern, and it's a PR opportunity, and at the most, I mean, it's newsworthy." Is it?

The Winner

Despite claiming that it didn't want anything "advertisingy," SquareTrade goes with the actual full-service ad agency that delivered the most straightforward campaign. That said: in doing so, SquareTrade also breaks The Pitch's previously 100% unbroken streak of clients making the wrong decision! Go cry in your fuzzy hat, Christiano, you goon.