Nashville Goes To Natchez For Some Real Talk About Beverly

After demanding -- and getting -- a knock-out shot so strong it made her sleep through a call about her daughter's medical emergency (not that Awful Friend actually tried to relay all the information Avery told her to pass on -- she is, after all, awful), Juliette wakes up, and kudos to Hayden Panettiere for credibly conveying how gross Juliette feels; watching her is practically giving me cottonmouth. Awful Friend comes in with a couple of pills to take the edge off, but when Juliette goes into the bathroom to take them, she gets a glimpse at What She's Become in the mirror and immediately flushes the meds, clearly determined to Turn Things Around. I don't really know much about drugs, but hasn't TV taught us that she's probably going to be coming down hard -- like, so hard maybe she shouldn't be flushing shit if she has a show that night? That never comes up for the rest of the day, though, so maybe not!

Meanwhile, Juliette's saying she doesn't care about Cadence's ear infection was the last straw, and Avery's finally ready to sign the divorce papers! I know he doesn't have all the facts, but given that the mitigating factor is "Juliette was so high she didn't know what she was saying," it's kind of hard to argue that this is the right call.

Rayna encourages Deacon to go to Natchez and clean out Beverly's old house -- she says it really helped her work through her own unfinished and say goodbye when she did the same at her dad's house after he died...

...and then we cut to said house, where Scarlett has already arrived and is looking around sadly at the sad remains of Beverly's sad, sad life. She tells Beverly's landlady that she stayed with Beverly there for a while, and even slept on this couch...

...and while Scarlett makes even that seem tragic, that couch looks pretty nicely broken in to me.

Meanwhile, Layla's still whining about Markus's having stolen her thunder at her Opry début the previous night. Jeff tries to care and almost succeeds, but the point of this scene is less what a great manager he is to her (because he's kind of not), and more about letting us know that while he's going to Atlanta to handle Juliette, the client who actually makes him money, Layla's staying in Nashville and meeting with Rayna to go over notes Rayna has on Layla's album. Layla's nervous about sitting down with a legend, but Jeff tells her not to be intimidated by Rayna's reputation. It's definitely either Jeff delivering this advice or a Jeff-shaped puff of smoke left behind as he fled the scene.

Speaking of Atlanta: also en route there for a big Luke Wheeler show are Luke; his publicist or whatever, Gabriella; Colt; and Maddie. Maddie has the balls to complain that she doesn't get to spend the night because everyone probably thinks that if she and Colt even stay in the same hotel they'll-- "Do it," Colt finishes, as they both giggle. I have to think this is one of the whinier conversations two teenagers has ever had on a PRIVATE FUCKING PLANE, I MEAN HONESTLY.

Juliette scolds herself about having taken the tabloid bait at the radio interview and let herself believe that Avery and Emily could have ever possibly been capable of hooking up; she rightly says that's the kind of shit she would do, but that they're actually decent people. Rather than just shut up and enjoy the perks of being in Juliette's awful coterie, Awful Friend claims to have been reading (unlikely) an article (nope) about body language, and claims that Avery and Emily's posture in one of the photos in the blog post Juliette's looking at on her iPad proves that Emily and Avery are fucking.

And then Awful Friend leaves and Juliette starts to tap out a text to Avery...

...which Avery gets just as he's about to hand his signed divorce papers to a flunky! Juliette, your timing is impeccable...today! Not so much the past several weeks of debauchery, but today you nailed it!

Project Peenlight

Alert Type: Get Gunnar Laid Alert.

Issue: Since Gunnar is apparently so hard up whilst pining for Scarlett that he's reading a spark into his touching Emily's hand on the milk carton that morning (Will: "Well, if that's all it takes, then I had a spark with Emily too!"), Kevin and Will declare that they are making it their mission to find a woman at this show in Atlanta who will let Gunnar put his thing in her.

Complicating Factors: Gunnar is apparently as out of practice in the art of seduction as a person can be. First, he sets his sights on Awful Friend.

Then, when Kevin tries to introduce Gunnar to a cute roadie named Erin, she ends up being far more interested in Will's coming-out, and when she mistakes Gunnar for Will's boyfriend, Gunnar embarrasses himself/straight men/America with this word vomit: "I'm not gay. There's nothing between me and Will. I mean, he did kiss me once, but that's not the same thing, right?" (Kevin: "You guys kissed?") Will, somehow, goes on more: "Kevin, he's the boyfriend, he's gay, I'm not, not that I have a problem, with-- with that. Gay's cool if that's your thing. Is that your thing? Not that I'm asking if you're gay. Although, if you are, that's fine."

Resolution: Ain't nobody got time for that, including Erin, who excuses herself. When she and Gunnar run into each other again later, he does a little better, apologizing for his earlier babbling with "Sometimes pretty girls make me nervous," and then tries to offer to buy her a drink at the after-party. She flirtily banters that the drinks are free, which just makes him act all awkward again before finally wandering off like a goof.

Spoiler: You know what they say: third time following significant professional setback's a charm.

Sure, Avery's been around enough incredibly famous and powerful music stars to know how much they value perfect candor! This will be great.

Awful Friend Is Awful

Juliette's checking into her hotel in Atlanta leaving a groveling message for Emily when a bellman putting her and Awful Friend's luggage on a cart loses his grip on one of the suitcases. "Dude! That bag costs more than you make in, like, two years!" snaps Awful Friend.

And as the suitcase fell on the floor, so do the scales fall from Juliette's eyes. Lord, finally.

BevNo

Who's causing a family crisis? Deacon.

How? Though he hasn't been speaking to Scarlett back in Nashville, he's shown up in Natchez unannounced to help her with Beverly's old place.

Which relatives have a problem with it? Scarlett, who was already not having a great time with this task before Deacon appeared and started making passive-aggressive remarks about how small her "keep" pile is and that he and she don't see eye-to-eye on what's worth preserving among Beverly's things. She's in the middle of taking down her Ole Miss acceptance letter -- which Beverly framed and hung on the wall -- and remembering how Beverly screamed at her for abandoning her to go to school when Deacon comes out of Beverly's bedroom muttering, "It's just a bunch of old photo albums, I assume you don't want 'em," when Scarlett finally loses it on him: "Shut up! Stop acting like you're the only one who lost her! You have no idea what I'm going through! You just take what you want and get out!" She then stomps out and straight to a nearby bar to get wasted.

Who's an unlikely ally? Deacon, finally, who has his own fantasies about what life was like for Beverly in her lonely apartment and then gets a call from the bartender at the dive Scarlett's gone to and goes to retrieve her. Before she passes out, though, Scarlett lets it be known that she isn't done being mad at him: "I pulled the plug. You weren't there, you weren't there holding her hand when she slipped away, you didn't come to help me! You made me feel like the most important decision of my life was a mistake, and you judged me for it! You weren't there, you do not know how I feel, and you are selfish, Deacon! You are a selfish, selfish person!"

Spoiler: No one wants Beverly's ghost to continue haunting this dump because her survivors can't make peace, so I feel like Deacon and Scarlett will probably be able to work out their shit.

Music Hath Charms To Soothe Four Savage Breasts

Who called the meeting? Rayna.

What's it about? Layla's album.

How'd it go? It starts out pretty awkward: Rayna's heard things about whether Jeff is more than just Layla's manager, and Layla confirms that they are dating. Rayna, being Rayna, can't help saying she doesn't think Jeff is a good guy or a good manager, and that she's concerned that he's going to lead Layla down the wrong path. Naturally, this just makes Layla pissy, and when we check back in with them as they're going through Rayna's specific notes on Layla's arrangements and even some bigger issues she has with the songs themselves, Layla just digs her heels in and defends all her choices as if Rayna doesn't know what she's talking about. But then she goes out and gets some air, and when she returns, she's able to articulate her position more clearly: "Everything you said about Jeff is true. He can be a total jerk. He's too old for me. There are times when I really don't like him. But he's also really kind to me. And he challenges me and inspires me and no matter how many times I think about all the bad things, the truth is I love him. Even when my head tells me to stop, my heart just won't let go."

"That's your song," says Rayna with a smile. "Right there. Those are your lyrics, get your guitar." "You're not dropping me?" says Layla, mildly surprised. "If I didn't work with people who had complicated lives, there wouldn't be anybody to make music with," drawls Rayna, hilariously. "Let's write it!" Aw, Rayna. It's a lot easier to set aside your differences with Jeff when he's in another state, huh.

Get The Look: Not A Little Girl, Mom!

When Luke takes off to talk to someone from Coke about something or other (Jeff's pretty sure Luke's getting ready to launch a "lifestyle brand"), Maddie and Colt are left alone in the room, and Maddie excuses herself to put on her special going-out look for the concert.

Peekaboo Minidress: It looks daring, but that's just a sheer buff panel in the middle like a skating costume so your mom will still buy it for you. You look semi-nude from far away, though!

A Thin Veneer Of Bravado: Just enough to make you take advantage of the empty hotel suite to pounce on your boyfriend's face; then it wipes off and you lose your nerve.

Big Sisters Of America

After losing her nerve with Colt in the hotel room, Maddie is happy to run into Juliette backstage at the show for some cool aunt girl talk. Maddie explains that she keeps thinking she's ready for "things," but that the adults around her just want her to stay a kid. She adds that Juliette is so lucky to have been emancipated when she was Maddie's age, but Juliette cautions her not to go too far down that train of thought: "Don't wish your family away. Because it can be very lonely to be reaching out, and nobody's reaching back." Sheepishly, Maddie admits that when she really gets down, she even wonders, "What would Juliette do to make herself feel better?" "Do you really want to know?" asks Juliette. "Come on."

And then we see how Juliette cheers herself up: she finishes a number and then brings out a surprise guest: MADDIE CONRAD! I know Juliette's about to get a bunch of shit for this, but I love this moment so much. Maddie is totally assured and comfortable onstage, and she and Juliette absolutely murder "Telescope" while a rightly rapt Colt admires her from the wings. It's a nice reminder that even though Juliette has been a total cooze for most of this season, there is a good person in there who knows how to give a wonderful, special experience to a young friend.

Luke vs. Juliette

So while Colt thought that seeing Maddie duet with Juliette was just about the coolest thing he ever saw, Luke flipped shit in anticipation of getting blamed for it by Rayna, and now he's stormed into Juliette to yell at her about it. When Juliette pretty much takes my tack and points out that Maddie did great and had a fantastic time, Luke snaps, "There's more to life than feeling good," adding that it wasn't up to Juliette to let her take the stage: "To be clear, she's still a child, no matter how much makeup you slap on her." Given their conversation a couple of episodes ago about Luke's own regrets about his parenting, or lack thereof, when his kids were young, Juliette is armed with a rejoinder: "What makes you such an expert? How much were you around to discipline your kids?" "Don't go trying to play Cool Mom with somebody else's kid just because you've abandoned your own," spits Luke on his way out the door.

Winner: I'm still Team Juliette on this matter, but Luke definitely prevailed in this exchange.

Markus vs. Avery

From what we've seen, Markus has -- after showing up an hour late -- has mostly spent this "work"day dicking around regaling his gathered sycophants with tales of glory, which is probably why Avery has thought he had license to step aside several times to talk to Emily about the text and voicemail Juliette sent them each (respectively), and with his lawyer about what would be involved if Avery sought sole custody of Cadence in his divorce and Juliette contested it (this last one being a call Markus ended by grabbing the phone out of Avery's hand and "playfully" announcing that Avery has to work now). So now that they're actually getting around to working on some music, Avery has ideas -- which, you know, is his prerogative as Markus's producer. But Markus isn't that interested in hearing them: "What are you doing talking?" "You said you wanted me to speak up," says Avery. "Where do you get off?" snaps Markus. "You keep me waiting all day, and then you sit over there on your phone like a little teenage girl, making calls and texts when we're supposed to be working." Avery says he's been ready, but Markus disagrees, saying that under the circumstances it's a little much for Avery to want to take the reins now: "I'm the artist, okay? What I say goes." "You just change your mind on a whim?" snits Avery -- and, again, just a reminder: this is someone who has lived with and is technically still married to Juliette. Avery threatens Markus that he's not going to do well on this album knowing nothing about country music and with no one to guide him: "I'm a good producer." "Good, 'cause you're not my producer anymore," Markus replies. Well, Avery pretty much served him that opening on a platter.

Winner: Markus.

Teens Do Sex

Maddie is so high after her triumph on stage that when Colt marvels at her performance -- "You own the stage like this amazing woman!" -- she's like, "Come with me," and off they go to the tour bus Luke never uses to Do Sex. After the way she spooked earlier, Colt checks that she's sure this time. "So sure," she says. And then, offscreen, they have sex. I'm fine with it, I guess? He's come a long way from the superior dingus he was when we first met him, but I'm still not sure he's Rayna Jaymes son-in-law material.

This Is A Real Three's Company Situation, Except For How It's Very Sad

Situation: Juliette runs into Gunnar backstage and wearily asks what Avery's problem is. (Earlier she'd bitched to Awful Friend that her phone must be broken since it hasn't rung or notified her of a text all day, but apparently since then she's figured out that Avery's not answering her on purpose.)

What makes it awkward? She eye-rollingly acts like Avery's making too big a deal of the fact that she got a new phone and didn't tell him what her number is, but Gunnar's like, uh, your kid almost died and you said you didn't care, you animal.

How is order restored? Juliette cleans house in a major way.

Awful Friend Awful Disappointed

After Gunnar brings her up to speed, Juliette storms into some lounge where her whole awful entourage is hanging out being awful and gets in Awful Friend's face: "Are you the stupidest person alive? My child was sick." Awful Friend -- though awful -- has something of a point when she snorts, "You've, like, literally never even told me her name or indicated that you cared," but she should also learn to read a room, because Juliette's response to that is to sigh, "You're fired." "You can't fire me, I'm your friend!" squeals Awful Friend. Behind her, Erin giggles, and Juliette snaps, "You're FOR SURE fired." (I kind of feel like Erin was laughing at Awful Friend, not with her rejoinder, but again, that's a time to read the room and make yourself invisible, Erin, duh.) Jeff wanders in just as Juliette is ordering everyone to get the fuck out or she'll have them arrested for trespassing; when she spots Jeff, she tells him to get her jet ready: "I'm going to Nashville; you're not invited." God, Jeff must hear that a lot.

Layla and Rayna harmonize on the mopey-ass song they've just written together. It's not my jam, but Rayna loves it, and Layla thanks her for being concerned about her. I'm pretty sure Mommy Rayna and Daddy Jeff are going to have a hard time co-parenting Layla!

After telling Will he wants the song he's just played on his next album, he runs into Colt and Maddie, who look post-coitally blurry and cute! "Not cool, young lady," says Maddie, informing them that she's going to the airport now. Maddie's like, uh, okay, bye? When she's gone, Colt whines, "Today was great until you went and did that." Luke sternly says he can't always be Colt's friend.

Which is a shame because Colt looks like he wants to tell at least one of his buddies that he just totally Did It with a girl!

Gunnar's just called Kevin and Will whining to go home when Erin finds him, informs him that she just got fired, and shoves him into a utility closet. Woo, someone's going to get his dick sucked next to some rotten mops!

Kevin finds Will on stage, where Will admits that he hated tonight. Kevin tries to get him excited about selling the song to Luke -- writing a hit for an artist like Luke is the kind of thing that buys houses -- but Will doesn't care to get established as a songwriter; it's not what he came to Nashville to do! Kevin, a songwriter, says it's a good life, and Will somewhat insensitively says, "You mean good enough?" Kevin wisely decides now isn't the time to settle whose dream is more awesome and tells Will they should just find Gunnar.

Deacon's telling Rayna he's glad he went to Natchez but needs another day when Luke rings through on her other line with something she should know!

hee hee hee, Will and Kevin fuming. How'd that skank hunt work out? Not worth it, right? Gunnar's hair should have warned you off it in the first place.

Jeff checks in on Layla, who enthuses about her great day with Rayna, but that's forgotten when Jeff tells her to come to Atlanta tomorrow. He then spots Gabriella and starts selling her again: "I worked for Warren Buffett straight out of college. I put myself through Harvard Business School. I rebranded the L.A. Forum for top-of-the-line performers. Clive Davis -- you know Clive Davis? Yeah, well, he was so impressed that he brought me on to do A&R for him. I was a CEO at Edgehill, and after the label folded because of corporate downsizing, I reinvented myself as a manager, to a very difficult and very successful star. And I have a great relationship with your boss, so I don't see a scenario where I am not the guy for the job." Gabriella lets him get through his whole spiel before telling him that she put him on her CEO candidate list but that Luke took him off. And her concern about Jeff is the way he blurs the line between business and pleasure -- like how he's always using his other clients' events to boost Layla, his girlfriend. Fair point, actually! Jeff promises that the job comes first, and Gabriella leaves things open by saying she'd love to see him prove that! I'm not sure how much Layla will love that!

Maddie gets in the front seat with a sour Rayna, who mutters a question about how Maddie's performance was. Maddie points out that she's performed in public before, but Rayna says those other times she had permission; she wasn't "strutting yourself up in front of 20,000 people." alongside Juliette. Maddie snits that Rayna does that, but Rayna snaps that she's an adult. "So am I!" yips Maddie. "No, you're not, you're sixteen years old!" gasps Rayna. "And Juliette Barnes is not a role model!" "Juliette is awesome!" cries Maddie. "She gets me, she just gave me the best night of my life! You're just pissed 'cause you're not as cool as she is!" Rayna, God love her, doesn't give the tiniest sign that she's hurt by this; she's pure anger as she declares, "Well, if you think that's cool, then we have much bigger problems than you getting up on that stage tonight! Girl, you've got so much growing up to do? And I'm telling you right now, I'm going to be making the rules." RAYNAAAAAAAA! Rayna 2016!

Gabriella tells Luke that Coke and Ford are on board, and when he hugs her to celebrate, shit gets awkward. He asks whether she wants to have a celebratory drink with him, but she says she doesn't mix business and pleasure. "Okay, not even tempted, got it," Luke says genially, but Gabriella corrects him: "I didn't say I wasn't tempted." Are we supposed to care about Luke's love life? Or lifestyle brand? Feels like a mistake.

And Beverly's Restless Ghost Is Restless No More

Deacon's sitting by the couch waiting to give Scarlett a glass of water when she regains consciousness, and as she chokes it down, he says he wants to tell her something: he knows that what she did wasn't easy, and he was wrong to act like it was. He was holding out on to the tiniest shred of hope that Beverly would come back to them, but Scarlett knew that even if she had survived, "she wouldn't be living. God, she'd hate that." Scarlett, says Deacon, made the right decision.

Scarlett's grief/relief face gives me a brief scare that the show's going to ruin this moment by making her barf on it, but that doesn't happen, fortunately; she slides off the couch next to Deacon as he says he's sorry he wasn't strong enough to make the decision with her, and that he wasn't there when it happened. So let's hope this is the end of Deacon turning his guilt against Scarlett and that he can resume being a decent person again.

Break To Pieces

Juliette's on her way out of the hotel when she runs right into Avery, and into his arms. She asks if Cadence is okay, explaining that she didn't know until tonight that he had even called; she was on her way to Nashville. Avery, with the sound of someone who spent the whole trip here rehearsing what he was going to say to make sure he got it all out, says that all he'd wanted for months was for her to reach out to him and Cadence. Juliette, a little idiotically, says she did, and Avery's like, yeah...today you did. If she'd done it yesterday, they might be having a different conversation now, he says, but Cadence could have died, and Juliette was so messed up on drugs that she didn't know what was happening, and had surrounded herself with people who allowed her to do that to herself. Juliette mutters, "I know that, and I'm making a change," but it's too late, as Avery delivers the blow that shuts her up: "I want a divorce." He'll file the papers in another county and use their middle names; she can frame it however she wants and preserve her image. But in exchange for his discretion, he's going to require her to sign a termination of parental rights and give sole custody of Cadence to him: "I can't have her grow up thinking that she can depend on her mother when we both know that she can't." He hands her his lawyer's card and tells her she has twenty-four hours to call him: "Goodbye, Juliette." THE CLOCK! IT TICKS!!!