Photo: ABC
Once Upon A Time In Crossoverland
Which Disney characters should we expect to see this season in the Once Upon A Time spinoff? And how? And why?
Given how much gold ABC has spun from the public-domain and Disney universe characters that populate Once Upon A Time, it's natural that the network would try to duplicate the formula with its new spinoff, Once Upon A Time In Wonderland. The original source material -- so far, more of Lewis Carroll's original novel than the animated Disney film it spawned in 1951, though it's a pretty loose adaptation no matter how you look at it -- presents the show's producers with a deep bench of beloved characters; and repositioning the story so that our new Alice (Sophie Lowe) starts out in a Victorian mental hospital, trying to prove to her dubious father (Shaun Smyth) that her time in Wonderland was real and not a hallucination gives the series the potential to be an American English Horror Story: Asylum for a tween audience. It's not really my thing but I get it.
...I mean, I mostly get it. In last night's pilot, we're introduced to the Red Queen (Emma Rigby), evil monarch of Wonderland and the obvious villain of the piece. But she's not the only one: also gumming up the works for our heroine is Jafar (Naveen Andrews). From Aladdin. JAFAR, YOU GUYS.
I'm not going to sit here and act like I think the works of Lewis Carroll are sacrosanct or whatever the hell. It's the '90s. But if a character from a loose adaptation of an 8th-century Persian story collection can just magic-carpet on over to a loose adaptation from a Victorian children's novel just because Disney owns the rights to both of them, I guess literally anything is possible, and I'd better get to making some predictions about other crossovers we should expect to see in the episodes ahead.
Mary Poppins
Current Disney Home: Mary Poppins (1964).
Her Involvement With Alice And/Or Wonderland: The immortal Mary was Alice's nanny before she originally went to Wonderland as a little girl (this version of Alice's story has been fixed to make her father a widower).
Recommended Casting: Alana De La Garza.
Jack Sparrow
Current Disney Home: The Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise (2003-).
His Involvement With Alice And/Or Wonderland: Accidentally sails The Black Pearl through a trans-dimensional portal; immediately starts scheming to rob the Red Queen of her riches.
Recommended Casting: Theo James.
Merlin
Current Disney Home: The Sword In The Stone (1963).
His Involvement With Alice And/Or Wonderland: "Shares" (deals) his enchanted "tobacco" (superweed) with (to) the Caterpillar.
Recommended Casting: Jeffrey DeMunn.
Oola
Current Disney Home: Star Wars: Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi -- specifically, as the non-Leia slave girl in Jabba's palace. (1983).
Her Involvement With Alice And/Or Wonderland: Still a slave girl -- this time, in Jafar's harem. (Have fun explaining that one, parents.)
Recommended Casting: Bianca Lawson.
The Hulk
Current Disney Home: Marvel's The Avengers (2012).
His Involvement With Alice And/Or Wonderland: Dr. Bruce Banner is working alone at the Large Hadron Collider when a mishap opens a wormhole and sends him into Wonderland, where he immediately gets super-pissed to be in a fantasy world and permanently hulks out.
Recommended Casting: Joshua Jackson.
Miss Piggy
Current Disney Home: The Muppets (2011).
Her Involvement With Alice And/Or Wonderland: She's the Red Queen's half-sister, the Pink Queen.
Recommended Casting: Cameo as herself.
Herbie The Love Bug
Current Disney Home: Herbie Fully Loaded (2005).
His Involvement With Alice And/Or Wonderland: Jafar's magic carpet has a cousin that was made into Herbie's floor mats.
Recommended Casting: 2013 Toyota Prius.