Zeek Braverman's Vegas Vacation

Surveying The Bravermans

Amber is pregnant, and watching what is apparently her first ultrasound while quietly freaking out! We learn that she hasn't told anyone about her pregnancy -- not even Sarah -- and that she and the baby's father aren't together anymore (aw, nuts)! The doctor, no dummy, asks whether this is a pregnancy Amber wants, because if it isn't, they're going to need to deal with it soon: "It's getting close to the time when it's safe to start telling people"! Amber doesn't have an answer for that quite yet, unless you count her request to listen to the fetal heartbeat again, which we probably should!

Aida, encouraged by the rest of her family, is walking like a champ! This is the only peek at Jasmine you're going to see in this episode so don't bother getting preemptively annoyed by her!

Julia has sex with some bro! Afterward, when they're co-ordinating schedules, it becomes clear that they work together! He can't get enough of DAT AZZ/WEAVE!

Sarah is bragging about her perfectly frothed milk to Hank, at his apartment! He doesn't care because he doesn't like cappuccino! He's all in a state about getting ready for Ruby to come stay with him! She's moving back to San Francisco but he still hasn't told her OR his ex-wife that he and Sarah are seeing each other again! UGH, GROSS, I HATE THESE TWO TOGETHER!

As Kristina nags the contractor about having her Miracle School ready to open in two days, Max decides this is the perfect time to inform his parents that he won't be attending! He likes being homeschooled because there aren't any other kids to slow him down! "You built an entire school for your kid, and now he's not going to it," observes the contractor! Who says those who work with their hands can't also be keenly attuned to irony?!

Zeek is in his improbably large San Francisco yard planting cucumbers when Sarah appears on one of their improbably high number of decks to tell Zeek she's taking him on a surprise birthday trip to Las Vegas! Sarah: screw-up no more!

Truant Story

Alert Type: Brat Alert.

Issue: As previously mentioned, Max is refusing to attend Chambers Academy, the charter school Kristina has founded basically just for him.

Complicating Factors: In addition to the fact that once the school opens there'll be no one who can homeschool Max, if he really does abstain from THE CHARTER SCHOOL SHE FOUNDED FOR HIM, Kristina's going to look like a real asshole.

Resolution: Both parents impress upon Max that while they understand his reluctance to return to a group educational setting after the canteen-pee incident, he's going to have to suck it up -- but as stubborn as they are, Max is more stubborn.

Spoiler: Max is also not a complete monster.

Jewel Of The...Russian River?

Braverman People Problems

Alert Type: Hormone Alert.

Issue: Haddie, helping her Holt cousins paint at the school (which...should Amber even be doing that, given her pregnancy and the fumes?), catches them up on her relationship with Lauren, and mildly complains about the minor hassles involved in traveling with her in Europe soon.

Complicating Factors: Amber, still keeping the secret of her pregnancy, gets annoyed and leaves, declaring that she doesn't "have the energy to complain about Europe."

Resolution: Very maturely (for real, no sarcasmo!), Haddie comes by Amber's apartment to talk to her about Amber's having hurt her feelings, and Amber blurts that she's pregnant; Haddie is excited for her and immediately abandons her own resentment to be supportive to Amber, particularly once she finds out she's the only one who knows....

Spoiler: ...for now.

When The Game Hits Back

What's the game? Blackjack.

Who's playing? Sarah; Zeek; other randos who get no lines.

What's at stake? Not much; they are both sufficiently comfortable financially and able to control their impulses that this probably isn't leading to a gambling-addiction storyline.

Who wins? Well, given that Zeek stands up and then collapses in the middle of a hand...the house?

The Least Patient Patient

Situation: Sarah has brought Zeek to the ER to try to figure out why he collapsed.

What makes it awkward? Pretty much everything? Having to call Camille about it means her brothers find out too, and use the incident as an opening for a larger discussion about how they didn't get invited (as if Adam could go with the school about to open in a minute). Also, Zeek is extremely stroppy with everyone at the hospital, especially his very young-looking doctor.

How is order restored? Adam and Crosby decide to crash the trip on the sketchy grounds that Sarah won't be able to handle everything herself, though they arrive after Zeek has checked himself out of the hospital against medical advice. Zeek and three of his children do end up having a fun night -- though wet blanket Adam makes sure to inform everyone who goes along with Zeek's refusal to go back to the hospital that "This family is sick. Sick!" -- but in the sense that there's still an outstanding cardio exam that Zeek doesn't get results for, order kind of isn't restored.

Well, Why Don't YOU Marry Him?!

Julia is generally not my favourite, but even I feel for her when she goes over to Camille's to be with her while Zeek's state is still in question, and all Camille can do is talk about what a saint Joel is for pitching in at the school.

"Our Kid Sure Sucks, Huh?"

Who called the meeting? Sandy, Hank's ex-wife.

What's it about? What really brought Sandy and Ruby back to Berkeley.

How'd it go? Hank tries to talk about the awkward incident that sent Sandy out of his apartment earlier -- Ruby finding a pair of Sarah's underwear in one of her dresser drawers (sloppy, Sarah, Jesus) -- but Sandy doesn't care if Sarah and Hank are back together as long as Sandy doesn't have to see any more of Sarah's lingerie; she wants to bring Hank up to speed on Ruby. Apparently, they're back in the area because Ruby had fallen in with a bad crowd in Minnesota, which is pretty funny since I would have thought there WERE no bad crowds in Minnesota. Sandy wants Hank's help in parenting Ruby 50/50 to try to keep her from becoming a complete hellion, and since Hank is very excited to do that, it's a successful meeting. But I guess Hank's willing to pitch in more with Ruby because he wasn't paying attention when she rudely refused his grilled cheese sandwich and fizzy lemonade like a shithead before. Hank? Sandy? Just throw Ruby in the garbage.

Joel & Julia: The Reunion Tour?

I'm really not sure of the chronology here, because somehow after Julia went from Berkeley to San Francisco to be with Camille, her brothers not only got to Las Vegas but also located Sarah and Zeek and took a casino selfie together to send to Julia? Was Julia hanging out at Camille's until 5 in the morning? Was Joel waiting up for her that long? Whatever: Julia reacts to the photo with sobs of relief, quickly followed by an embarrassed chuckle, since she hadn't realized how scared she was until the danger passed. Joel pulls her in for a hug, and then a too-intimate kiss on the temple, and then he's kissing her for realsies. She stops him almost immediately, and he apologizes and agrees with her that they shouldn't confuse things, so I assume he can tell she's moved on to another dude and that's why he finds her so irresistible? Poor form, Joel. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE. (Why am I all on Julia's side all of a sudden?!)

Zeek comes home! Camille was very scared! She tells him he has an appointment with his own doctor! He tries to blow it off! THAT'S SO ZEEK!

At work, Julia's side piece comes into her office, closes all her blinds to start molesting her, but THEN tells her how great she is and how he wants to get serious with her! She says okay...but as soon as he leaves, her face betrays her.

Good luck, Side Piece!

Zeek's doctor looks at Zeek's file and declares, "I don't like it when my patients hit the ground, Zeek. I don't ever want your cranium hitting concrete, okay?" He doesn't like not knowing why Zeek collapsed, but they're going to figure it out! My prediction: Zeek's contracted oldness!

Kristina effusively greets each of her students by name, including...Max Braverman! Apparently Adam's talk about how important it was for him to attend the school for Kristina's sake actually worked!

Amber goes over to Sarah's and stays silent through Sarah's usual word vomit about Zeek's collapse and whatever else until Sarah notices that Amber is upset, whereupon Amber announces, "I'm pregnant"! Sarah has the perfect response!