Penny Dreadful's Ethan And Dorian Show That New Friendships Are Sometimes The Best

Like all of you (I assume), I spent the first three episodes of Penny Dreadful feeling kind of sad for Josh Hartnett. After taking years off from acting to wait for a project that excited him and didn't feel like a compromise (or so he told New York), he got cast on Penny Dreadful, only to get stuck playing its most boring character. But now we're in a post-Episode 4 world: everything's changed for the better.

FIRST OF ALL, am I the only one who didn't figure out Ethan is (probably) a werewolf until the moment he gets all weird about giving Fenton a blood transfusion? Sure, there was the point when we saw him waking up all confused and remorseful next to the river, but I...think I just assumed he'd been drunk, or drugged, or that he had some kind of PTSD blackouts and I also kind of forgot that had happened. The Grand Guignol werewolf sketch plus Ethan's emotional reaction to Flash Jack's rat-killing spree PLUS that whole absinthe flashback montage at the end somehow doesn't end up feeling like excessively explanatory exposition -- at least, not for this dullard.

And speaking of that absinthe-fueled montage: I ain't mad about what follows.

I can't tell you how often a TV show will present me with a couple of hot dudes standing really close and glaring at each other and my (obvious) response is to yell at them to kiss. But the lascivious intentions of TV producers apparently intersect with mine only very rarely, which is just one of the many reasons watching TV can be a frustrating experience for me. And there's nothing in John Logan's history to make me expect to have my hopes met this time -- I mean, I don't recall him writing any make-out scenes between Russell Crowe and Djimon Hounsou in Gladiator, though if he had, it would have deserved its Best Picture Oscar win way more.

But here! The montage ends; Ethan, overwhelmed with emotion, stalks toward Dorian with passionate intent. Promising...? When he gets within arm's reach, he grabs Dorian by the throat.

Ugh, expected and disappointing. But Ethan's not finished cycling through his feelings just yet....

Dorian goes with it, because hey, his whole thing is trying to experience new things before their novelty fades into mundanity, and as far as we know he's never frenched an American sharpshooter before. But is this just some kind of act of aggressive sexual dominance that's going to curdle into regret and shame?

NOPE, SHIRTS COME OFF.

Well done, Penny Dreadful. I guess I will allow your ending the episode when Ethan and Dorian have barely gotten to first base if it means future installments bring us Josh Hartnett and Reeve Carney's naked asses in the same room at the same time. And maybe Dr. Frankenstein happens to stop by to drop off some papers or something, and then....