Screens: USA Network
Playing House Gets Staged, And Mark Gets Collared
While Maggie directs Emma's mother's play and Mark builds sets, Tina proves she doesn't have to be present to boss around both him and his neckline.
Our third episode of Playing House's second season finds Maggie returning to an activity we know she loves: midwifing the creative expression of others. In Season 1, it was choreographing an exotic dance fundraiser starring local cops; this week, it's directing a community theater production of Cashmere Burka, an original play by Emma's mother Gwen "Nell Carter." (Emma: "I thought [your nom de plume] was Phylicia Rashad." Gwen: "It's not the right time for that name anymore.") Of course, Maggie manipulates both Emma into playing the play's thinly disguised version of Gwen and Gwen into signing off on it; of course, Emma doesn't take any part of the enterprise seriously and ends up getting fired. Less predictably, Maggie accidentally blows up "Nell Carter"'s spot with Gwen's old frenemy Betty -- who still hasn't forgiven Gwen for serving undercooked chicken salad in 1984 -- and sends Gwen into a stress tailspin that, as rehearsals progress, plays out all over her increasingly swaddled throat. One pashmina?
Comfortable and chic. Two pashminas?
Maybe starting to get into a zone of potential concern for those in the immediate area, like the daughter who's about to get canned.
But when we get to three pashminas?
That's the kind of insane styling choice that should have sent everyone running from the JCC before the inevitable happened and Gwen fired Maggie, her biggest fan! Those scarves are choking off the oxygen to your brain, "Nell Carter"!!!
And yet, Gwen isn't the character whose neckline choices give us the most pause in this episode, because that honour belongs to Mark. Technically, it belongs to Birdbones, since it is she who is forcing poor Mark into shirts he's clearly not comfortable in.
We start with a turtleneck, which even gentle Maggie can't help commenting on. "It's Tina," says Mark, to no one's surprise. "She wants me to try out different necklines. So that's what we're doing."
AND HOW. Next up is a deep V, which Gwen -- at the start of her downward spiral -- accuses Mark of wearing on purpose to steal focus from her script.
Gwen's not done torturing Mark, though; a day that starts with him in a pink polo shirt with a popped collar...
...actually gets worse when Gwen demands that he build her a set piece that looks like...
Mark's Tina's shirt choice ends up being more apropos than anyone might have thought!
Finally, it's opening night. Maggie makes Emma attend despite Gwen's declaration that neither of them can actually be involved in the play. Still on the hook is Mark, and thank god he seems to have overruled Birdbones and dressed himself.
The neck may be a little wider than one usually sees on a gentleman, but at least it's just a plain crew-neck t-shirt that a normal human could wear without self-consciousness or fear of being mocked behind his back!
Or it's exactly the opposite.
Way to go, Birdbones: you've found the most woman-repelling shirt in creation. If you're really concerned about Mark starting something up with Emma again, get it in every colour.