As Matthew Lewis Joins Ripper Street, We're TV Fantasy-Casting Other Potter Kid Alumni

Two pieces of TV news crossed my desk today: first, that Ripper Street has cast Matthew Lewis -- the kid who played Neville Longbottom in the Harry Potter movie franchise and then grew up to look like Clive Owen, the lucky bastard -- to play a cop, apparently, in the show's forthcoming fourth season; second, that Ripper Street is still a show that gets covered in the entertainment press. BUT I KID RIPPER STREET! Maybe I'm just annoyed that Lewis's agent didn't try harder to get him cast as Thack's surprise son on The Knick. (Or the product of a very early and extremely successful cloning project on The Knick. Come on, you're not intrigued by the idea of a sci-fi reboot for Season 2?!)

Lewis's casting is exciting news for Pottheads, but what if it were only the beginning? I went into the Casting Lab to propose some other TV shows the Potter movie kids could -- nay, should -- visit.

Daniel Radcliffe

Harry Potter Role: Harry Potter. He's the main guy.

Selected Previous TV Experience: A Young Doctor's Notebook.

Where I'd Cast Him Now: When Broad City's Abbi participates in a group art show, she's taken by the aggressive, challenging work shown by Christopher (Radcliffe), but when their first date ends up in her bedroom, he turns out to be extremely intimidated by her sexually and makes her agree to a fully-clothed cuddle.

Rupert Grint

Harry Potter Role: Ron Weasley, Harry's best friend.

Selected Previous TV Experience: An ill-starred Greg Garcia pilot called Super Clyde.

Where I'd Cast Him Now: In Season 4 of The Americans, Philip and Elizabeth have a hard time teaching Seamus (Grint), a former IRA operative who's come over to the Communist cause, how to be more inconspicuous, since he refuses to wear a hat to cover his raging red hair.

Emma Watson

Harry Potter Role: Hermione Granger, Muggle nerd/eventual Ron love interest.

Selected Previous TV Experience: A guest role as a clergywoman on The Vicar Of Dibley.

Where I'd Cast Her Now: Based on how funny she was in The Bling Ring, let's get her on Fear The Walking Dead as a nouveau riche Angeleno who is not really not equipped for the zombie apocalypse.

Tom Felton

Harry Potter Role: Draco Malfoy, antagonist.

Selected Previous TV Experience: A major role in Season 1 of Murder In The First.

Where I'd Cast Him Now: As the "adoptive" mother of a young child, Downton Abbey's Edith doesn't exactly have her pick of eligible suitors, so this creep named Randolph Satterthwaite (Felton) will have to do.

Freddie Stroma

Harry Potter Role: Cormac McLaggen, a Gryffindor student in the class ahead of Harry's.

Selected Previous TV Experience: UnREAL!!!!!1!!1!

Where I'd Cast Him Now: It seems unlikely that he'll return for UnREAL's second season, so let's put him on Brooklyn Nine-Nine as a tourist who comes into the station to report his mugging and falls instantly in love with Gina.

Bonnie Wright

Harry Potter Role: Ginny Weasley, Ron's sister/eventual Harry love interest.

Selected Previous TV Experience: Playing a younger version of the titular character in Agatha Christie: A Life In Pictures.

Where I'd Cast Her Now: Jemima, the grating exchange student girlfriend Zach brings home for Thanksgiving on The Good Wife, who starts irritating Alicia immediately.

Domhnall Gleeson

Harry Potter Role: Bill Weasley, Ron's eldest brother.

Selected Previous TV Experience: Bob Geldof (!) in the TV movie When Harvey Met Bob; the (great) Black Mirror episode "Be Right Back."

Where I'd Cast Him Now: Can someone just go through True Detective Season 2 and splice in some of his scenes with Rachel McAdams from About Time? That would be a lot more fun than what we actually got.