Steve Buscemi Tries To Market Celery By Any Means Necessary

Steve Buscemi

Role: Marty, a produce marketer on the celery account.

Relation To Our Lead(s): Brownstein plays his demanding, power-mad boss, and, later, his wife; Armisen is his smug brussels sprouts-pushing co-worker, and, later, "Bacon."

Best Line: When Marty tells his wife that Bacon has agreed to give celery a boost if she'll sleep with him: "I'll talk to him. Maybe he would go for a handjob." (Mrs. Marty: "I give a great hand job, by the way. That is not a downgrade. It's going to feel like intercourse to him.")

Jeff Goldblum

Role: Unfortunate Motorist.

Relation To Our Lead(s): He's just gotten into a car accident and has called 911, where Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein are both playing operators, because he believes he's covered in blood.

Best Line: "I was in a car accident! I'm covered in red-- Wait a minute. You know what? You're right! It is beets! I crashed into a beet truck!"

Jaime Langton

Role: Restaurant Patron.

Relation To Our Lead(s): She makes the mistake of trying to order a pastrami sandwich at the needlessly complicated Order Grill, where Armisen is a waiter and Brownstein the weirdo who designed the place.

Best Line: "So you have the ice and the soda at...opposite ends...."

Kumail Nanjiani

Role: Human Bandwidth Manager.

Relation To Our Lead(s): When Carrie feels overwhelmed by all the digital obligations she's not keeping up with, he counsels her on declaring social bankruptcy; later, experiencing ennui, he falls in with a couple of panhandlers played by Brownstein and Armisen.

Best Line (tie): "I have some template responses I use? Pet pictures. I'll just write 'cyoooooooot.'" "One day my co-worker said to me, 'Thank God it's Friday!' And you know what I did? I laughed."

Silas Weir Mitchell

Role: FBI Agent?

Relation To Our Lead(s): None; he approaches a despondent Celery Marty about wearing a wire to take down Bacon...but then turns out to have been Marty's corn counterpart all along -- his cornterpart, if you will. (You don't have to.)

Best Line: "Corn used to be America's vegetable. And then along comes bacon, and makes every vegetable, from zucchini to celery, sexier than corn. Sorry you got caught in the crossfire, but our work here is done."

Andrea Yates (not that one)

Role: "Your Aunt Elizabeth."

Relation To Our Lead(s): After Carrie detaches from all her social media connections, her circle of friends is limited only to other people who, like her, aren't online: "Bronwen, your Aunt Elizabeth, Dave, Coma Dave, and a baby."

Best Line: "I'm making a scrapbook for you! About the Spotted Owls -- I told you about them, in the '70s, and all the ruckus that they caused...." (Human Bandwidth Manager: "She's your Wikipedia now.")