How To Deal With Ian? Let's Bat Around Some Ideas!

For most families, dealing with a minor's imminent sentencing on drug charges would be a crisis no one's prepared to deal with or even understand. For the Gallaghers, it's such old hat that Lip calls it "Carl's first sentencing" (also our episode title), implying that everyone's pretty sure it won't be the last. And while Fiona has her own methods for preparing Carl for what's ahead -- viz "Gallaghers don't snitch" -- Chuckie's actual mother draws on her own life experience to take extreme measures on behalf of her poor, simple son. Elsewhere, Lip and Frank each make a new friend; Fiona finds yet another person worse off than herself; Kevin comes to appreciate Vee for the first time in months; and Ian agrees that there might be something to that whole "medication" thing after all.

What kind of week did everyone have? Let's rank them from best to worst.

1. Lip
   Considering where things begin for him -- he's resigned himself to getting kicked out of school for the semester over his failure to arrange for his tuition grant -- they really pick up by the end of the episode: not only has he found an enthusiastic intercourse companion in his new Critical Theory prof Helene (and, apparently, his first glimpse at an open marriage, as Mr. Helene comes home early from a conference, sees Helene fully nude and Lip hurriedly dressing, and shrugs an offer to make Lip an omelet, hee), but the nice dude at the Financial Aid office has reached out to his old roommate, now a millionaire, and lined up an interest-free loan for Lip so that he doesn't have to miss half a year. Lip already seems to have survivors' guilt about...surviving his youth in the Gallagher house, which seems like it's going to be a bigger issue for him as the season goes on, but for now, he is at least open to the idea that people might want to help him because he's smart, hardworking, and personable, all of which put him in the 99th percentile of Gallaghers.
2. Frank
   I generally have to agree with everyone who praises Shameless for its gritty realism, from its refusal to sanitize working poverty to its bleak attitude toward addiction. Exception: its insistence on treating Frank like a cheery imp who charms everyone who crosses his path. Yes, I know addicts have to have some charisma, or they'd never get all the illicit substances they want. And I get that Bianca isn't in her right mind, due to her brand-new cancer diagnosis, so she's susceptible to Frank's particular kind of fun. But would this accomplished young woman really deign to spend more than a day having a bender with Frank? He's gross. Anyway, her impaired judgment give him a pretty good week.
   

   But Bianca better wake up with a hangover and a lot of regrets.

3. Deb
   Other than almost getting her head bashed in by a paranoid Ian, she's cool.
4. Kevin
   Kevin's enjoying college immensely, as who wouldn't if they didn't have to go to class, until he has a new superhero alter ego -- Rapewalker! -- imposed on him. Taking responsibility for all the drunk college girls in town causes him to run afoul of some of their male classmates, who aren't happy about how Kevin's sexual generosity is making them look bad, but when they confront him, he shows them a photo of Vee and realizes how very lucky he is to have her. Since she just realized the same thing about him last week, this seems like good timing?
5. Ian & Mickey
   Now I feel bad about my doubts last week about Mickey's ability to handle Ian in his current mental state: when Ian wakes up convinced that the house is surrounded by MPs sent to take him in and grabs a baseball bat to defend himself -- nearly attacking Deb when she opens a door at the wrong time -- Mickey talks him down, declares that they're going to the clinic to replace the meds he flushed. And Ian does! Once Ian's had a chance to sleep (a lot), he also goes along with Fiona's suggestion that he try to get a dishwashing job at Patsy's. Maybe now that he's kidnapped a child and just about killed his sister, Ian will quit being in denial and be okay...? I am scared to hope.
6. Fiona
   I appreciate that she wants to be a good friend to Sean and help him through the pain of his ex-wife moving his son to Pittsburgh and not being able to move there himself because of the travel restrictions of his probation. But I don't like what this intimacy between them could mean for Gus, the best guy on TV.
7. Carl & Chuckie
   Well, they're both going to juvie, which isn't great. But Carl's getting protection from someone connected to his crew because they know he didn't snitch when he had the chance. And Sammi's made sure that Chuckie will get protected too.
   

   I mean, she could have at least put it on his neck or wrist so it's not the FIRST thing you see.

8. Sammi
   Hit the bricks, Sammi, no one wants you here anymore. And why would you want to be here after everything that's happened?! Her storyline has really run its course; let it end.