Makeovers All Around! (And, For Fiona, A Makeunder)

It's Father's Day in Shameless, and the celebrations are just as idiosyncratic as you'd expect: one dad lines up a currently-on-hiatus prostitute to wet-nurse his twins; another gets invited to a special dinner meet a bunch of his fellow organ recipients; and a third stiffs his diner waitress on her tip because she was too slow with the butter. Who's having the most fun with or without their dad (or kids)? Let's go to the rankings.

1. Carl
   Now that he's solved his mobility problem with a stolen Rascal, and his sister's friends are using him as a sexual pawn to needle her in their ongoing Mean Girls cold war, his summer's actually turned pretty rad.
2. Deb
   Deb's finally turning her attention to an age-appropriate boy (who, due to the ice cream Liam gets in her hair at the pool, mistakes her for a special-needs kid on a field trip), but the braids and kiddie clothes aren't going to cut it. When an exceptionally generous Svetlana steps in for Deb's absent mother and for her distracted surrogate mother, the result is a much more grown-up look that she's way overdue for.
   

   Once she recovers from the shock, Fiona can't stay mad at that haircut, and even invites Deb out dancing; in classic Gallagher style, even having to run out of the club after a fistfight breaks out ends up being a sweet bonding moment between sisters.

3. Lip
   The neighbourhood may be under threat from both gentrification in the abstract and improper disposal of construction waste in the immediate, but Lip's got a good, stable job, and so far he's holding things together with Amanda even long-distance. As long as he can continue not hooking up with Mandy and ruining his whole sophomore-year plan, Lip should be fine.
4. Sheila
   While Sammi continues to be an irritant (you know, the way hydrochloric acid can be "an irritant"), right now there's an offer on the table for her to sell her dump of a house at twice its market value. She may sympathize with Frank in his anti-gentrification crusade, but on the other hand: money.
5. Mickey & Mandy
   Big ups to Team Milkovich for channeling their antisocial impulses in a cause that's actually in the public interest: attacking the "Southboro Church," notorious anti-gay funeral protesters. Sure, blackmailing a leading church elder with several different angles of multimedia evidence of his getting a blowie from a handsome young man is wrong...on paper. In reality, wouldn't we all love this to happen to the real Phelpses? Real-life dirtbags: get on it.
6. Ian
   He's cycling into the depression phase of his illness, but at least he has Mickey to look out for his best interests and redirect his rage. For now.
7. Fiona
   Poor Fiona has a real roller coaster of a Father's Day. The highs: McGyvering off her own ankle monitor (she's legally allowed to have it removed, but the office won't be open until the next day). Flirting her way through an NA meeting with Sean. Refusing to take any shit off Sammi for being insufficiently attentive to their father. The lows: chasing down a Patsy's patron who doesn't tip her and getting a sharp rejoinder from his wife.
   

   She gets a whole speech from Sean about how he can't afford to risk the important things in his life by messing around with someone he knows is dangerous for him. She gets blindsided by Deb's makeover. And she risks her own probation by getting into a fight at the club where she goes to see Cute Davis's band play. But as she's just finished tearing out of the club with Deb to avoid future trouble, Fiona seems to have a moment of panting epiphany: does she want to keep being the sort of person who would, as she seems to tell Deb, assume that the result of goofing off at a show will necessarily lead to a flight from justice? Or does she want to be the sort of person that Sean could be with and not fear blowing up his sobriety and happiness?

8. Frank
   Frank seems to regard his successfully waking up in the morning to be proof that he's doing everything right, which I guess is why, when the father of the donor whose liver Frank now has invites him and the rest of the organ recipients to his last Father's Day dinner with his boy (ew), he thinks nothing of drinking at dinner? However, the fact that he actually does nail the reason these lesbians are offering everyone so much money for their houses -- fancier businesses are moving in -- may mean that Frank's plans for opposing the encroaching hipsters may earn him more status from his neighbours.
9. Kevin & Vee
   Oof, Vee. If you didn't want to have kids, you should not have had kids. Poor Kevin is trying everything he can think of to give their twins the best start in life -- including terrible ideas, like letting another woman breastfeed them -- but Vee is angry about everything all the time, and his getting a long-overdue haircut somehow only make things worse, because I guess on top of everything else, Vee is going blind. These two need to make some parenting decisions together, before she just gives up and walks out on the family, which I feel like she may be two episodes away from doing.
10. Sammi
    This asshole crashes the organ-recipient dinner and makes a gigantic scene about how bereft she's been her whole life, not having had a father. Sammi, I realize that it's Father's Day. But it would still be Father's Day when Frank got home. Quit making everything about you. While you're at it, quit being you. You suck.