Screen: MTV
Jenelle Gives Birth Again, Apparently Attended By Ghosts?
Hey, if you had facilitated this un-blessed event, you wouldn't want your face on TV either.
Jenelle gives birth again in the latest Teen Mom 2, and I assume we're all saying quiet prayers of luck and protection for Kaiser. As if having Jenelle and Nathan as parents wasn't enough of a deficit for him to start his life with...I mean, they named him Kaiser, guys. KAISER. Jenelle gets through the first hours and days of her latest son's life with the grace and aplomb we've come to expect: she drives herself to the hospital because her baby's father is legally prohibited from doing so; she talks on camera about having to shit during labour; she complains that her boobs hurt. She also joins Nathan in getting really snotty about what great parents they're going to be to Kaiser as opposed to letting Barb ruin him or whatever. Hey Jenelle, when is Jace going to be living with you full-time? ...That's what I thought.
The next-most-eventful storyline involves Leah, but it's a pretty steep drop-off. Remember how last week a fight broke out between Leah and Corey over which of them was less serious about caring for Ali? Well, it's come to a head: Corey has decided to challenge Leah for primary custody. Considering how much the early part of the season Miranda spent talking about not being in a hurry to have children with Corey, I don't know what to root for in this situation.
Bringing up the rear in terms of interesting are Kailyn and Chelsea. While Kailyn distracts herself from the pain of giving up Isaac to Jo for six weeks by applying to college, Chelsea gets increasingly annoyed by Taylor's efforts to make friends with Chelsea so that the two of them can commiserate together about what a shithead Adam is -- something, I feel, that Taylor could do with literally any other human town? Anyway, Chelsea gets pissed off when she sees a photo Taylor's posted of Taylor hanging out with Aubree, and then when Adam shows up at Aubree's t-ball game with Taylor (and Paislee) in tow, things...just get worse.
If this all sounds like elements of episodes you've seen before, you are not wrong. The table below tells the story of exactly how closely this episode hews to the Teen Mom 2 formula!
| Teen Mom 2-y Element | Present? |
|---|---|
| Crying | Kailyn sobs at the thought of leaving Isaac with Jo for six whole weeks; Leah cries at the news that Corey is filing for full custody of the twins. |
| Fighting with ex- or current boyfriend/husband | While Corey and Leah fight through their lawyers, again, some more, Kailyn continues her redemption arc by having a very calm and reasonable conversation with Javi about her concerns over giving up Isaac for a month and a half. |
| Obligatory cute kid | It might be time for a spinoff that's just Aubree at her t-ball games. |
| Crimes against the English language | "But when it come time to him seeing the girls...."; "You can't make it to none of these doctor's appointments...." |
| Barb's accent | Visiting Nathan and Jenelle after they bring Kaiser home, Barb comments that she's happy to see them "co-pairenning." |
| Financial problems | Part of Corey's filing has him asking Leah for child support. Good luck, dude, you're going to have to wait for her to sell a LOT of body glitter. |
| Style disasters | Kail receives a visit from an orange friend; Nathan lies in bed -- so, indoors -- with sunglasses on. |
| "Shocking Reveal" we already knew about from Us Weekly/the internet | Kaiser's birth counts since even I knew about that one already. |
| Jenelle's terrible life choices | Jenelle's pretty smug and defiant in her insistence on not letting her or Nathan's moms interfere with Kaiser's upbringing considering that both of Kaiser's parents already have children from previous relationships who don't live with them because it was determined that they weren't fit parents. Also: "Kaiser." |
| Tertiary character as voice of reason | When Adam shows up at Aubree's game with Taylor in tow, Randy and Chelsey Grace have a bitchy discussion about what a slut Adam is, basically, and how they need to sign up for push notifications just to keep on top of who he's on top of (I'm paraphrasing). Chelsea, predictably, gets annoyed at the evidence in front of her that Adam is happy to hang out with any of his exes except her, and yells at Randy and Chelsey Grace to quit speculating about what Adam's relationship status is now and that she doesn't know what their deal is and so on until Randy has to yell back, "OKAY! GOTCHA!" so that she stops embarrassing herself. |
| Obviously staged scene | "I just applied to Del State." - Kailyn to her orange friend. |
| Mom whose segments are totally worth skipping | Other than as further proof that Kailyn is turning into a good mother/person, this is just more of her agita from last week about Isaac's long visit with Jo. |
| 12 / 12 Final Score |
100% Teen Mom 2 |
| 0% Surprise? |