Photo: J. Meric / Bravo

Extreme Guide To Parenting

'Just Raise Your Baby In The Most Natural Of Ways, And For Me, That Is Non-Vaxx Way'

Turns out Christian Axness's refusal to diaper her one-year-old daughter Eleanor is the least 'extreme' (reckless) decision she's made as a parent. Let's let her tell it!

Tara Ariano
 
  • Hey, do you want me to leave her undiapered for a little bit?
    Yeah. I'm sure we'll be able to catch one this morning.
  • We parent in a very natural way. That includes something called elimination communication. We watch for signs that Eleanor needs to go to the bathroom, and then we run her to the potty.
  • Hey, guess what.
    Did she pee in the high chair?
    Well, this is an EC fail, but that's okay! We keep trying.
  • I come from a long line of poop Nazis....When we first brought Eleanor home, I brought a box of medical gloves home, because I just didn't want to touch it.
  • Do you think if, like, we want to go down to Captiva for a weekend, you guys could, like--
    Mmm.
    Like, two days!
    See, I think I could, but I don't like being away from her. I want to be able to, like, be a part of every little thing, you know? The worry is, like, is she going to be okay without us, because we are so, like, attached to her.
  • Poor Zac. I'm flipping my boobs out like it's a rave.
  • I just don't know how you do the co-sleeping. Bennett goes to bed at 7 o'clock, and then it's time for us. Like, don't you feel you and Nate need more time together?
    No. If you only have sex in your bed, that ain't sex at all. Sex is in your pool, sex is in your kitchen.
    ...This pool? ...When was sex in this pool?
    Depends on the day!
  • It's never hard for us to get alone time. We're alone a lot in the kitchen when Eleanor's playing, and we're behind-- we're behind the door in the pantry. Or we're in the laundry room. I can just close the door really quick. Doesn't take us long.
  • I have a sweet mama friend of mine, and she's really wanted to have her placenta encapsulated, and I'm really excited to be able to do it for her....It's dehydrating and encapsulating so she can take it after she's had a baby....
    It feels like cannibalism, in a way.
  • I'm thinking, we were a lot more fun to other people before we had our baby.
  • After I gave birth to Eleanor, my placenta was put into a jar of pills, and then I had another Ziploc bag, 'cause I had a really big placenta.
  • I bet you my placenta would have taken up this whole pane. Aren't you proud of me?
    So proud.
  • You know what you have to do when Baby #2 comes: 'cause I want a tincture, I want pills, I want a smoothie. There's a whole cookbook on everything you can do with your placenta.
  • What's right for you might not necessarily be what's right for me. For instance: vaccinations. I'm very much against vaccinations! I would much rather expose my daughter to chicken pox in the most natural way than take the risk of the vaccination with all of the ingredients that are in them.
    What reactions have you had from the pediatricians about their feelings towards this?
    Well, the only person who should have the ability to make decisions for your family is you, the parent.
  • Because we breastfeed, I'm more comfortable pumping up my child's immune system than injecting different chemicals into her little body.
    I don't nurse, though, so, like, what would my option be?
    Vitamin C. Vitamin D.
    Bone broth!
  • I really ask everybody, just don't do it because that's "the norm" in this society. And, I don't know if you guys remember, but as a kid, that was a rite of passage! We all had chicken pox parties!
    "Let's take an oatmeal bath!"
    I remember being able to scratch them on my head and have so much fun with it.
    Get back to the basics. And stop trying to reinvent the wheel: just raise your baby in the most natural of ways, and for me, that is non-vaxx way.
  • When we say, like, "chicken pox party," it sounds really bad, but ultimately, that's what we did when we were kids.
    Christian, we vaccinate. The majority of the people out there vaccinate.
    Did you have chicken pox?
    I had chicken pox; I guarantee you my mom never took me to a party.
    It's better to get it when you are young! But when it comes to vaccinations and all of these decisions that I've made, there's been a lot of thought. There's been a lot of research.
    But you can't just look things up on the internet.
  • Just tell me when you're going to have your chicken pox party, so we can stay away.
  • I can't stand it when I see a mom too busy on Facebook or too busy on her iPhone to watch her child. Put down your iPhone! Like, enjoy your kids.
  • It is a little weird to be doing [elimination communication] right here and now, like, in the middle of yoga class.
    I think it's a great time to practice elimination communication. Why not? It's a wooden floor! Hard surfaces are my best friend.
  • My Aunt Iris is visiting from Oklahoma, and let me just tell ya, she works in the medical field [according to the chyron, Iris is a nurse], so she thinks she knows everything about everything, but I'm prepared.
  • Oh, dear Lord. Eating your body parts? [makes face]
    But it's not a body part, it's the byproduct of something very beautiful, which is birth.
    So is your doodoo. When are you going to encapsulate that?
  • Your mother said that you were choosing not to do the chicken pox vaccination.
    Right.
    Do you remember when you had chicken pox? 'Cause I do.
    I don't.
    It's not just a little itchy disease where little blisters break out. It is potentially life-threatening.
    Don't you think that her having chicken pox young would be just as effective as her getting an immunization? I would much rather--
    That's like exposing someone to e-BO-lie [sic]. I mean, you're just praying that their eyeballs don't bleed. I have seen a person come in the emergency room with chicken pox in their throat and be intubated. So once you've seen that, you would do whatever it took, and if that meant a shot that some major drug company produces-- Seriously, Christian.
    I am literally practising things that were practised years ago, it's just that technology and media--
    Mortality rate....
  • I guess I do have a little doubt.
    It's chicken pox! She gets some scars, she gets a little fussy, she gets over it!
    .........Right.
  • Nate and I, you know, we've really done a lot of research, and I think that this really is, like, the best thing for our family.
    And I appreciate that. I really do. But what about the polio? The whooping cough that is deadly? There's other situations where these kids have to be vaccinated or it can be terminal or life-altering.
  • It's a scary decision--
    It's a no-brainer for me. I'll have no problem [not vaccinating the baby.]
    ...All right.
    Because we're trying to avoid carcinogens in vaccines. And we don't think they're safe.
  • I'm not going to say that I love my daughter more than anyone else loves their child, but this little human being has changed everything about me, and I'm living an awesome life, and I wish Bethany could experience that, you know?
  • I just heard of a chicken pox outbreak.
    Oh, you did!
    So I didn't know if you wanted me to text you later with the information, 'cause I thought about doing a playgroup.
  • We are the Lactitty Committee.
  • I can just tell you I'm not going to come to [another] mommy meeting, though. That ain't gonna happen. Like, I thought I was going to EC class, and then all of a sudden I'm in a room with women screaming about chicken pox parties. Not cool, Christian. To give him full-blown chicken pox? Like, it's not fun to pick at. She was saying it's fun to pick at your scabs -- it's not "fun"! They're one year old!
  • I am seriously considering having Eleanor exposed to chicken pox, because I do believe that it is important for lifelong immunity.
    As far as the whole chicken pox thing goes, I feel like me being able to understand, like, I'm not going to get it.
  • Bethany's looking at me like "You are out of your mind," and I am already on the fence about infecting Eleanor, so I have a lot of really big decisions to make.
  • I've been really thinking a lot about my pedicure with my aunt that I had.
    Oh, yeah?
    She raised some extremely good points.
    Like what?
    Like, you know, if Eleanor does get the chicken pox, you know, there is risk. I just-- I--
    There's risk with anything.
    I know, but listen. Hear me out. I just want, like, just as much as we talked about vaccinations being a risk, I do want it to be very clear that with exposing her to chicken pox, there, too, is a risk. And Bethany mentioned, like, the fact that we were exposing Eleanor to danger.
    She thinks we're taking a risk by exposing Eleanor to chicken pox, and we think she's taking a risk by getting--
    Getting, right--
    Giving Bennett the vaccine.
    But if she gets abnormal chicken pox, that would kill me. I do not want to see our daughter in [the] intensive care unit because I decided to expose her to chicken pox.
    Christian. Bethany and Zac are doing what they know is best for their child, but this is about our family. We decided that, with our style of parenting, we're going to do things in an educated way. And you can't prove to me that those vaccines are safe.
    Everything that we have done up to this point -- the birth, the breastfeeding, the co-sleeping -- I am 100% sure of. I'm just scared. I'm just scared seeing Ella in pain. I'm scared seeing her sick.
    I think that's natural. You don't want to see her in pain. Neither do I. But I think this is the route we're going to take. We learned about the dangers of hospital births. We learned about the dangers of epidurals, and we've avoided them. We've taken the road less travelled, and I don't know why we'd change now. ...I just think that we're being safer with our decision right now.
    I don't know. They don't tell you this at, like, after you have a baby, that you're going to worry so much. 'Cause like--
    Christian. You had chicken pox. Were you hospitalized for it?
    No.
    I had chicken pox. I wasn't hospitalized. She's breastfeeding from you.
    Yeah.
    She has all your antibodies.
    Yeah....
    This is going to be fine.
  • I'm really excited to talk to these women that are actually from the exposure room for the chicken pox.
  • I didn't actually seek out chicken pox, but my mother-in-law contracted shingles, and two weeks later, we got them as well. And honestly, we really had a good bout of them, because they barely even were very itchy. My daughter actually really liked having her spots; she thought they were really cool.
    That's awesome! And when the spots started showing up and you realized that you had chicken pox, were you scared that it would get, like, out of hand and that they would have to be hospitalized? I mean, you hear so many horror stories, you know?
    I did get a little nervous, because you hate to intentionally, essentially, get your child sick and then have it backfire. We all had [chicken pox] when we were kids.
    Right....
    The vast majority of us survived just fine. I'm happy they got natural immunity.
    It's really cool to hear it wasn't that big of a deal because you can really scare yourself.
    Yep. And it's hard, too, because like you said, there's always those horror stories, but researching the risks to benefits--
    Yeah.
    And knowing that the vaccine doesn't kick the risk of getting shingles, I'd rather do it now.
    I appreciate all of your experience with exposure, and I do think that this is going to be the right thing for our family.
  • I'm feeling justified, because I know that we're not crazy, but it is nice to be in the company of other people.
    Yeah, your tribe.
    To know that there are other people out there with the same idea.
  • It definitely solidified my decision, like, yeah, I think that exposing Ella to chicken pox is, um-- I think it's the right thing to do, for-- for us.
    Yeah.
    Yes. [to the baby] You will have a little bit of bumps. But you will be okay.

Bonus: Collected Letters Of Christian Axness

Tara Ariano