In The Aftermath Of Matt's OD, Is Alex Worse Or Better Off Than The Other Teen Moms?

Does the latest Teen Mom 3 definitively answer the question of whether it's better to have any of this season's teen dads than no dads at all? ...Maybe. Let's rank how the Moms are doing, from first to worst.

Briana

After bottoming out in last week's episode, Briana's segments in this episode could easily be condensed into a "getting shit done" montage set to "Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves." She's taking Nova to the beach! She's starting college! She's preparing to take her driver's test! That last one could take a while because she's apparently a terrible driver, but still! The only fake problem the show's producers can come up with is discord between Briana and Brittany, who's annoyed at the way their mother, Roxanne, keeps babying Briana. Admittedly, it does seem ridiculous that after dropping Briana at school, Roxanne wants to park nearby for a couple of hours just in case (of what? Briana changing her mind in the middle of class and running out in tears?), trapping Brittany there; I'd be annoyed too. But after every episode (including this one) has featured a staged discussion about the fact that Briana couldn't get through this experience if not for the help of her mother and sister, surely no one watching actually believes that Brittany is so pissed off by Roxanne's coddling that she's going to move out. That said: Roxanne does need to let Briana figure some of her own shit out. If she's old enough to go to college, she's old enough to find her way home on a city bus.

Alex

So Matt survived his OD and is going back to rehab -- but not before taking a few minutes out of his busy schedule to yell at Alex that he has a disease -- all of which just helps to cement her realization that she can't wasted any more time on him. And as it happens, Alex has a lot of other stuff going on! Like prom! Alex doesn't really want to go, but Wendy (MTV) convinces her to enjoy one of the last events of her senior year, and her boss at the dance studio even has a guy lined up to be her date! Alex plays along even though she is clearly not into any of it, but at least getting a new formal dress and her hair done probably took her mind off Matt for a few hours.

Mackenzie

The occasion of Josh's first Father's Day gives Mackenzie a reason to do something special: she dresses Gannon up like a little Josh for a photo shoot, and makes a card for him. But because it's Josh, it hasn't occurred to him that anyone would expect him to spend this particular day with his son, and embarrasses Mackenzie at a family gathering by not even answering her calls. When she finally texts him to beg him to communicate with her, he acts all put-upon as he tells her he's going to be at a friend's house so he guesses she should bring Gannon over there, whereupon he can't be bothered to hold Gannon longer than a few seconds when the baby is asleep and therefore not even doing anything. Mackenzie's attempt to shame Josh about their relationship by passive-aggressively calling attention to the fact that he seems to be more in love with this kid Lane than he is with Mackenzie, because they have nothing in common and don't really like each other much and would have broken up long ago if not for Gannon because they are teenagers and that's what teenagers are supposed to do.

Katie

Josh is emotionally stunted and uninterested in being a father, so at least Joey surpasses him in terms of being able to express himself and enjoy time with his child. Unfortunately for Katie, the only emotions he ever seems to want to express are negative, even when he's in the wrong, as when he makes Katie and Molli miss Molli's first swimming lesson by not bringing the car back in time for Katie to take her (and this cockamamie story about how he thought Katie's friend Naomie was going to take them is either a clumsy lie or proof that he's not the best specimen among the teen dads of this series because he doesn't even consider that Molli can't travel in any car that doesn't contain a car seat?). This episode is not the first time we've heard Katie describe Joey, understatementally, as "grouchy." Where this gets alarming is when we see Naomie, whose husband also works in the mine, explain that the job just makes them tense and stressed out, so the way for a mine wife to cope is just to be sweet, be the first to apologize, and not do anything to make them feel worse. This isn't advice for dealing with people who are occasionally grouchy; this is how you try to manage the moods of an emotionally abusive person, which will ultimately fail. Or, as Katie's mother Luci puts it, Katie's supposed to kiss Joey's ass all the time. Katie shrugs, and sadly says she doesn't belong anywhere except with him. INTERVENTION PLEASE.