One Million Moms Thinks Geico Is Promoting Bestiality
Our Players
Hello, I'm Monica Cole, Director Of One Million Moms.
Howdy, I'm The Interview Extender.
The Extended Interview
Mrs. Cole, I'm sorry you weren't able to weigh in with a quote for our post, but I'm so glad you saw it and decided to respond.
Thank you, Elizabeth. I appreciate the opportunity to explain my position.
Your organization's purpose is to protest media you feel is inappropriate to target toward children, is that right?
That's correct.
In your experience, are children buying a lot of car insurance?
Well, no, but if I may quote myself, "Kids are drawn to animals. That’s normal. Animals are cute. That’s why movies have animals that play the lead roles and the main part." So I think that by putting a talking animal in a commercial, Geico is trying to increase awareness among children.
But if you grant that children aren't the target market for the product being advertised, what purpose would it fulfill for Geico to pitch an ad to them?
I'm sure I don't know, I don't work at Geico. Maybe the idea is that children will see this ad and tell their parents to buy Geico car insurance.
Is that...something your organization's research has found is happening? Or has happened, ever?
No. But it could.
But even if that did happen even one time, what would be the problem?
We are trying to raise awareness with parents that Geico's advertising is explicitly endorsing bestiality, so that maybe parents want to spend their car insurance dollars with a different brand.
Does One Million Moms endorse any other car insurance brand or brands in particular?
Well, not Allstate. When that man makes his voice come out of other people, we think it suggests that he has dark powers.
"Dark powers"?
I mean...not because...I mean witchcraft, sorcery, satanism. Nothing about his race!
That's what I thought you meant.
Oh. Okay. Of course. Okay.
What about the other Allstate campaign, with Dean Winters personifying "Mayhem"?
I'm so glad you asked. We have a lot of concerns about the ad in which he says he's a teenage girl because we feel it promotes the transgender lifestyle.
Of course.
And as for State Farm: if the suggestion is that State Farm agents astrally project themselves and can be summoned when policy holders sing the company's jingle--
We're back to dark powers?
Well, sort of. That's New Age secularism, or pantheism, which is just witchcraft in disguise.
Got it. Are there any car insurers your organization does approve of?
Frankly, we regard all insurance as a form of gambling.
Isn't that a Ned Flanders line?
Who?
No one. Never mind. Continue?
We are not in favour of insurance and would prefer that citizens not drive as though they can get out of safe practices because they think they have a loophole that will give them -- what's that expression? A do-over?
But it's illegal to drive without insurance.
It's illegal to mandate prayer in public schools, too, and we're not thrilled about that law either.
Let's get back to the Geico ad with Marshall, the talking pig.
If we must.
I think we have common ground in that I don't think any of the Geico ads is funny either.
Good heavens, certainly not.
But I confess that my first thought when I saw it was not that the young woman was hoping to have any sort of sexual intimacy with the pig. She just wanted to get to know him better and thought the unexpected car trouble would give them a chance to chat.
Is that really what you thought?
I guess if I'm being completely honest, I didn't think anything about the ad because it was so dumb.
But Elizabeth, don't you see, that's exactly how the media machine gets you to compromise your principles! If you suspend your vigilance, even for a second, it's just the first step on a path that leads to your lowering your standards, and before you know it, you think it's just fine that two men are getting ready to raise a baby on The New Normal.
Because the show is as dumb as the ad?
Oh, Elizabeth. That doesn't matter. It's filth.
Let me just ask you one hypothetical. Would you still have a problem with the ad if the human female wasn't the aggressor?
WELL WOULD IT KILL HER TO BE A LITTLE LADYLIKE?!