The Affair Lets Noah And Alison Be Goofy For A Second

Most of The Affair's fourth episode -- when it wasn't negating the basis for an entire blog post with a throwaway line about Noah's hand in Alison's underwear, SIGH -- clarified for me, at last, what is so annoying about these two: what a couple of DRAMA QUEENS. And they're not even a couple! In his timeline, she's stomping off to get the ferry to New London because she can't handle him taking a call from his wife. In hers, he's pitching a fit because she's being evasive about those scars on her inner thigh. Honestly, is there anything more tiresome than adults who keep threatening to flee a scene because they're just DYING for you to talk them out of it? Alison is at least in her thirties and Noah his forties (or, going by his face's craggitude, late fifties) -- too old to try to pull shit that isn't cute past high school.

But just when the episode seems like it's about to tip into excruciating, something compelling happens. But first, something dull happens. Questioned about the scars on her leg, Alison gets super-touchy and picks a fight about the adultery Noah is trying to re-engage her in, obviously hoping that he'll stop trying to know things about her that she doesn't want him to and give up on her as too much work, AS I CERTAINLY WOULD UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES (though unlike both of these goons, I am not a cheating jerk). Frustrated, Noah forgets himself and gives a good hard kick to the dresser in their overpriced Block Island hotel room. He then stalks out of the room, which I assume at first is just him taking his turn at running away in the hopes that she'll run after him.

But after Alison's sat alone on the bed for a second, rolling her eyes at herself and all her recent mistakes (or maybe the last part was just me, about her), Noah returns, clears the stuff off the top of the dresser, and tells her to grab the other side. As Noah explains to Alison in an urgent hiss, if the room is hundreds of dollars for a single night, god only knows what they're going to charge him for the damage to the dresser, and he can't pay for it with a credit card -- Helen checks the statements. The maid has left another room open and stepped away, so they can trade dressers.

Guys, it's a caper.

Alison is, at first, still in high dudgeon, acting indignant that Noah would even suggest that a woman of her obvious moral rectitude would engage in such tomfoolery. But Noah's anxiety and forcefulness are persuasive and she lets him enlist her in his deception -- or, I guess I should say, in this deception on top of the one they've been working on since we met them (and they met each other). And just as with the larger deception, once she drops her reactionary pearl-clutching, she likes it. She giggles about the situation and how naughty they're being. When he tells her, "Nice work, Bonnie," she beams.

For a few minutes in a row, Noah and Alison can take a breather from the Oppressively Heavy Import of their infidelity and pull off this escapade -- which, if it's not exactly a victimless crime in that whomever just checked out of the other room is going to have to pay for the damage Noah should rightfully be charged for, at least that other guest is probably some rich asshole who'd overpay for what seems to be a glorified B&B and one WAY too choked with toile -- I mean, speaking of "oppressive," amirite? The moment is fleeting, but at least it's there: maybe I will eventually come around to rooting for these two to figure their shit out now that I know they're capable of having actual fun together.