Learn From Their Fail

Oh Deer!

The Symbol: A deer.

The Scene: Elizabeth almost runs into it as she's leaving the remote woodsy cabin where she's evidently been recovering from that gunshot wound from the Season 1 finale

The Meaning: As Elizabeth makes intense eye contact with the doe, she must be wondering, am I any more able to cope with life than this deer I totally almost killed might be?!

Knife To Meet You

Who called the meeting? I guess Philip? But it's not totally clear what the backstory is.

What's it about? A couple of Afghans want to make a weapons deal with Philip (posing as a very Texas-y supplier) so that they can fight the "godless Soviets" currently occupying their country.

How'd it go? It seems to be going quite nicely -- one guy even gives Philip a very special knife he's already used to kill his first Russian soldier, which is so sweet and thoughtful -- but then Philip shoots them both under the table. He finishes off the older dude quickly, but he only got the younger one in the leg, so he's alive to take in Philip's warning about trying to take on the KGB, which is everywhere. The younger guy has a little fight left in him, though, and he runs at Philip, and in the ensuing struggle...!

Philip gets his wig snatched! Anyway, then, he shoots the guy in the head and takes off out the back, but not before noticing a kitchen staffer cowering in the corner, telling him it's okay, and then...

Then it's time for Philip to get into his car and freak out. I get it, buddy. I had a day too.

For He's A Jolly Good Typical Useless Premium-Cable Series Little Brother

What's the occasion? It's Henry's birthday, and the kids' first time seeing Elizabeth before she sketchily took off with no notice.

What are the refreshments? Hot dogs, cake, MUSTARD FROM AN ANACHRONISTIC BOTTLE.

Whose embarrassing public scene will everyone be talking about tomorrow? Probably how Stan and Sandra just exchanged awkward glances while remaining like fifty yards apart.

If It Seems Three Good To Be True, It Probably Is

Roy Oatway, you thought you had finally hit the sex jackpot when those two very hot ladies wanted to have a threeway with you! But then it got interrupted right at its literal climax when a couple of dudes busted in, chased your new friends away, and warned you that they were probably spies who targeted you because you work at Lockheed and have a security clearance. It's okay: they've saved you in time (they're definitely not spies, at all, and most certainly not working in concert with the girls they got rid of!), and they're going to reconstruct every step of your security clearance, so it ended okay, but now you're embarrassed and have proved that you're a security risk.

You Gotta Have Friends

The other amorous lady and other fake airport cop are Leanne and Emmett, another pair of married spies who've made their way to the area for this specific job. Philip and Elizabeth have evidently known them for a while, because they talk about their respective perfect pairs of boy/girl offspring, and all agree that nothing can prepare you for what it's like seeing your proud Soviet children growing up in America, so far from the Motherland and oblivious to their true Communist heritage! (I'm paraphrasing.) Leanne and Emmett are going to be in Alexandria for a couple more days, but like all normal couples with kids, they make plans to see each other again in a few days at an amusement park, which will be totally normal and innocent! But why doesn't anyone make a suggestion that they meet for brunch first?! Oh, probably so the kids don't fill up their stomachs and then puke on the rides. That must be it.

The Scary Door

Paige, you idiot! I understand that you think your parents might be up to some kind of crazy shit you can't even imagine, and that their going out instead of spending your mother's first night back with the family is weird, and that you're so convinced that they haven't even come home that it seems like a good idea to creep down the hall and open up their closed bedroom door. But is it?

Electric Dreams

There's a hip new addition to the staff in the FBI mailroom!

Collection Agent

Alert Type: Desperate Informant Alert.

Issue: Sanford Price has been harassing Stan about the $250,000 he thinks he's owed for information he gave Stan about Philip and Elizabeth.

Complicating Factors: That money was only supposed to be paid if the information Price gave was actionable, which it wasn't. And the very reason Price needs the money -- he's a degenerate gambler -- is what makes his credibility so questionable.

Resolution: Stan sends Price away, clearly feeling bad about it, because he believes Price. So Price goes after The Colonel at his home, and The Colonel neutralizes the problem by shooting Price in the head at point-blank range.

Spoiler: ...Twice? "You'd think one in the head would have been enough." Hmmmm.

A VHS Bootleg Of The French Lieutenant's Woman "Borrowed" From An FBI Evidence Room!

Want to make your mistress cry and cling to you, because you don't realize that she's actually a double agent who's still loyal to the Soviets? Too lazy to have read Anna Karenina, not even the footnotes, because it never occurred to you that it might be an important text for her? Bring a bootleg of The French Lieutenant's Woman to your safe house: because you can't take her to see it in the theatre! (And then, once she's all softened up as far as you know, tell her to find out what specific targets the new Line X guy at the Rezidentura's working on.)

Well, That's...Fun

Of course Philip and Elizabeth and Emmett and Lee and their kids can't just hang out at the amusement park. Because they're spies. And when Leanne said she'd like to get a look at Paige and Henry, she literally meant...get a look at them, in passing, in an apparently safe public place. Definitely no brunch.

No Socks Required (But They Are Recommended)

Nina has a new target! And he seems like a douche!

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You Gotta Have Friends, For A While

It might seem like a good idea to bring your kids on a mission, for cover, and to blend in with the rest of a crowd: after all, that's the whole reason you came to the U.S. to pose as Americans in the first place! But if you've been following the guy you're supposed to get info from via brush pass for too long, maybe the least of your worries should be to slough the job off onto a buddy. Because...like, think it through. If the reason you're not getting brush-passed is because you think the guy's security detail might be on to you, then maybe they're on to you?

Philip opens up the aspirin bottle that was passed to him in the park, and pulls out a little drawing of an electronic...something, and a list of numbers, which he compares to the numbers in a little notebook he took from Leigh and Emmett's hotel room!

Philip comes back up and tells Elizabeth the stuff from the bottle includes an address two hours away, and schematics for something he thinks is a propeller! She offers to go signal, but he says he'll do it! He wants to blow off seeing Martha tonight, but Elizabeth tells him to go! She's like, "Who would do this?" and he's like, "You want the list?"

Sandra's been watching Leo Buscaglia on PBS, so she tries breaching the distance between herself and Stan by giving him a hug! Then she asks him to go to a movie! And he agrees! Guess which one! (It's The French Lieutenant's Woman!)

"Clark" complains to Martha about his bad day and she's all, "Just relax, you're home now"!

And across town at Philip's other real/fake home, Elizabeth watches the bedroom door and breathes heavily for very unsexy reasons -- which is to say even less sexy than what Paige walked in on before!!!!!!