Just Because A Lady's Showering In A Car Wash Doesn't Mean She's Helpless

Oh, Kyle. Dear, sweet, trusting, confused Kyle. It's pretty clear from the moment we meet you that you're a regular old white middle-class kid who's never had to deal with anything bad, like ever. So you're probably exactly the sort of person Eleanor Nacht didn't dare hope might cross her path: someone naïve enough to see a hard-eyed woman almost completely covered in what are clearly gang tattoos, washing "man blood" off herself, and see only "a woman." And who hears "Help me" and think, "I should help her."

And Kyle...come on. She does everything she can to warn you that she's bad news. She gives you that whole rap about grace. I'm sure everyone down at your parents' church is really nice, but you know where all of them clean themselves up? In their showers at home, not in A CAR WASH. Then there's the promise that if you helped her, you'd get to touch her parts. Decent people don't have to trade sexual favours for favours -- just ask anyone who ever crossed paths with Nancy Botwin, brick dancer/life ruiner.

But still, this weird, apparently desperate lady asks to come home with you. Makes you go get clothes from your mom for her to wear. Sends you back when she decides what you've brought is unacceptable just because it's pink -- when any reasonable person would look at it and reply that it's more purple than anything else. She stops into your brother's room and looms over him like a cat trying to steal his breath. She ENCOURAGES YOU TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM. Kyle! What more could she have possibly done to convince you to pull the ripcord on this whole "helping" thing? Your parents were right there in the house, sleeping! And unless you brought out your mother's sidearm or throwing stars along with her sweatpants, this lady was unarmed! You could have put a stop to all of it!

Instead, you take this weirdo to a second location, on the promise of a sexual reward for all your industrious assistance -- the clothes, the sandwich, your buddy Dex's address. She refuses to put on a light. She walks you onto A PLASTIC SHEET. Was it really a SURPRISE when she murdered you, Kyle? You poor dummy, it probably was. But in your last moments in this plane, at least you learned a lesson to take with you to the other side.