Screen: HBO
It must have been SO HARD for Michael Patrick King and Lisa Kudrow, the co-writers of The Comeback's second-season premiere, to confine themselves to just a handful of jokes about what Valerie Cherish has been up to since we saw her last. Because of course she agreed to appear in some student slasher films, and of course she tried to shill her own line of hair care products with an infomercial hosted by someone whose name she didn't even know, and of COURSE she was tapped for a role in an early iteration of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. And just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't an important step on her life's journey: after all, that's what led her to cross paths with Andy Cohen. It's also great for The Comeback, because it means Andy Cohen can be on it.
Will Andy Cohen, Bravo Executive, have to pay in the next life for his part in unleashing Jeff Lewis and Fredrik Eklund and the Housewives on the general public? Of course. (He also owes me a personal apology for not having fought harder on behalf of the Gallery Girls and the Pregnant In Heelses.) But Andy Cohen, Pop Culture Personality, is just a delight. He crossed over from his behind-the-scenes role into on-air MC work as host of various Bravo reality shows' reunion specials, which could have made him a smarmy waste of space like Jeff Probst or whoever that broad is that they get to stand in the audience and read viewer tweets on Chatfish. But Andy (it feels weird to refer to him by his last name, so I won't!) is the perfect person to sit in the middle of a bunch of Housewives asking pointed questions designed to make them shriek at each other. He knows how to stand in for us: he's a host now, but before that, he was a fan.
Andy's fandom of life in general makes him fun to watch: as with Jimmy Fallon, his boundless enthusiasm may not always feel 100% sincere, but that doesn't make it any less appealing and infectious. This quality has also made him a good talk-show host, as excited to sit down with Meryl Streep (or stand with her, at the shotski) as he is to delve into the private pain of a fourth lead from Below Deck. It also makes him a great guest on the talk shows of others -- engaged, voluble, and just happy to be in the mix. It's the kind of of unshakable positivity one only sees from Cohen and...I gotta go with The Rock.
Andy's cameo in the season premiere of The Comeback is perfect top to bottom, basically. First, there's the fact that a substance-free Twitter exchange has led Valerie to believe that she and Andy are "communicating" about her career. Next, there's the detail that Valerie and her "crew" track him down at lunch because he tweets his plans. And he's at Chateau Marmont, obviously. And he's having lunch with RuPaul. And he doesn't recognize Val right away. AND HE COVERS BY SAYING THE SUN WAS IN HIS EYES. And he tells RuPaul that he used to watch I'm It, in college, after getting baked in his dorm. AND HE MIMES SMOKING A BOWL.
And after maybe one minute of chitchat (during the course of which Andy determines that he's being secretly filmed without his consent on one of Val's flunkies' phone cameras and conveys his displeasure without making a big deal about it), Andy ends the conversation and dismisses Valerie that's decisive but still gracious. I've never been blown off by Andy Cohen, but it's good to know that should that ever occur, I would probably leave the encounter feeling validated and adored.
The Season 2 premiere of The Comeback assures the viewer that Valerie is still right on the line of self-awareness and self-delusion, and that her determination to continue having a career -- whatever that may mean for an '80s sitcom actress in the 2010s -- will continue leading her into ever cringier situations. But for Andy Cohen to bless the proceedings with his cameo is a reminder both that a lot of the change in the reality-TV landscape over the past ten years is due to his influence, and that Valerie is a camp icon, now and forever. Even if Andy doesn't buy her new reality show for Bravo, can he at least book her on Watch What Happens Live? The world needs to see her opposite The Countess.