Diane Reunites With Her Secret Weapon

Why did we just watch a bunch of B-roll of random people cheerfully goofing around with their 3D printers, and one guy less cheerfully trying out his 3D-printed plastic handgun at a shooting range only for it to backfire and hit someone? Because Alicia's lawsuit against the designer of that gun came up at her big editorial board sitdown, which Prady and his campaign manager Martin are watching! When the subject turns to Lemond Bishop, Alicia smoothly says he's no longer a client, and when one of the editors (obviously) follows up by asking whether, to her knowledge, Bishop's ever donated money to her campaign or PAC, she doesn't hesitate!

Martin, freaking out, says she has to be lying, but Prady's willing to give her the benefit of the doubt! Martin, disgusted, says that her lie got her the newspaper's endorsement, and then gets into some #RealTalk: "I like you. I think you're a good man -- possibly even a great one -- and I will do everything I can to help you win. But you are too nice. She's a liar. She told them exactly what they wanted to hear, and I would bet you every dollar I have they knew she was lying -- they wanted her to lie, because people respect someone who's willing to lie for what they believe in." Prady refuses to go against his principles by lying! Martin's like, fine, but the election is hours away, could you at least consider attacking Peter since he's not your opponent and you legitimately think he's a dirtbag?

And then Alicia's coming up on her campaign team in a tizzy in front of a clip of Prady shitting all over Peter and threatening, if elected, to review firings that go back to his time in office as State's Attorney! Josh: "Okay, so he mentions Peter eight times in the space of, whatever, a short time." Hee! Johnny says it's time for Alicia to put some distance between Peter and herself! "What issues?" Josh: "Doesn't matter, pick one." Hee! Alicia notes that they're united on this issue, so what were they arguing about when she rolled up? It seems Johnny's been offered a job on a campaign in Sacramento, which would require him to ditch her, like, nowish! Josh: "And this being Chicago, you know, there's never any fraud at the polls." HEE! Josh is on fire today! But also, don't we assume this would be the campaign frauding?

And then Cary's calling Alicia to say that Louis Canning's asked to see her, in the ICU! "We think it's a good idea for you to go and see him and get him to sign off on his lawsuit against us." Classy as ever, Cary, and Matt Czuchry, I hope you donated your paycheque to charity this week if this is all you had to do to earn it!

Bang For The Buck

Alert Type: Precedent-Setter Alert.

Issue: Eddie Summerfeldt, the guy who was struck by Carsten Pope's backfiring 3D-printed gun, has engaged Finn in a lawsuit seeking redress for his having been rendered paraplegic; Finn's teamed up with Florrick Agos Lockhart to sue Chris Fife, who designed the gun Pope printed, on the grounds that the design was fatally flawed.

Complicating Factors: THERE ARE A BUNCH.

• Judge Abernathy is so liberal that Diane is worried that he'll go too far in the opposite direction to counter his own biases.
• Though Diane wants to make this a gun control precedent (and has Finn question Fife about whether his software should be available to, say, felons, or children), Fife is determined to keep it a First Amendment matter, all about his right to disseminate information!
• Fife's lawyer, Nancy Crozier, is arguing that the shooter is the one who should be on trial, but that Diane et al haven't tried to go after him for damages because they know he's broke.
• When Nancy puts Rebecca Smercornish, Kurt's protégée, on the stand, and she points out how Pope tweaked Fife's open-source design, Kurt has to go back to the lab to print some more exemplars...and a subsequent printing on a different printer works fine.

Resolution: Diane amends the suit to include the printer manufacturer Fife specifically recommends.

Spoiler: This is bad for Diane and Kurt in the short term, but don't worry: Kalinda's going to save their marriage.

Shoot First, Fingerbang Diane Later

Before things break between them, Diane follows her initial examination of Kurt by meeting back up with him in her car. "How do you make me feel like I'm twenty-two?"

Is there a line item on Kurt's expert-witness invoice for a Handrew Jackson, or is that a complimentary service he provides?

Be A Pal(estine)

Situation: The reason Louis has asked Alicia to come see him is that he wants to do something for the family of the girl whose kidney he just got -- namely, to liquidate his stocks and give them the $18 million that will be worth -- but since his estate lawyer (one David Lee) is dragging his feet because, per Louis, he wants to wait for Louis to die and then get a cut of that money himself, Louis wants Alicia to handle it for him.

What makes it awkward? When Alicia goes to David Lee to ask about it, he explains the issue: the donor's (Muslim) family intends to give this windfall to "The Strong Arm Of Liberty," a charity that helps the people of Palestine. David has no problem complying with Louis's request, provided the State Department signs off on it, but this charity is too new for anyone there to know for sure that money directed that way won't end up getting funneled to Hamas.

How is order restored? Alicia gets a reminder that Louis is a scumbag...and in the process taints her campaign when the story gets out that she's been talking to anyone about Palestine.

Nothing Gold Can Stay...Happy For Very Long

Alert Type: Clashing Campaign Managers Alert.

Issue: When Eli sees that Alicia's schedule has changed to permit her a stop at a gathering of the Black Business Leaders, he immediately figures out that it means Johnny's positioned her to attack Peter.

Complicating Factors: Eli was the one who lined up Johnny's Sacramento job, so he has a cudgel he can use to threaten Johnny into backing off Peter.

Resolution: Eli threatens Johnny into backing off Peter.

Spoiler: ...for a while.

Diane vs. Kurt

When Diane has to put him back on the stand to testify about the issues with Pope's printer's clogged feed tube to establish that the printer manufacturer is also culpable in causing her client's paralysis, Kurt is NOT HAPPY. He's a spectacularly hostile witness who clearly doesn't want any part of what he's already privately called Diane's "crusade" against 3D gun printing, and resists as long as he can before saying that the problems with the backfiring gun were caused by structural weaknesses due to uneven plastic distribution.

Winner: In court? Diane. Overall? This guy.

BRRRRRRR.

One Last Time Into The Breach

Left alone backstage at the Black Business Leaders' event, after they've just finished getting primped, Alicia and Prady get oooooone last chance to chat collegially before the election, AND WHAT ONE OF THEM SAYS MAY SURPRISE YOU.

Eli calls Alicia in a STATE, demanding to know whether she's sending money to the Palestinians! Alicia:

"I HATE THESE SILENCES, ALICIA." Hee! She explains about Canning's request and David Lee's resistance, and Eli jumps to the obvious conclusion: "You're being set up"! Alicia thinks it's ridiculous to think Louis would prank her "on his deathbed," and when Eli's like "Why not," she...doesn't really answer! Because if anyone would, it's fucking Louis!

After having previously told Alicia NOT to go after Peter for fear of losing the Sacramento job, Johnny stops Alicia on her way to the Black Business Leaders' stage and tells her, "There's been a change"! There's a new speech on the prompter (that she's...never seen? Cool); Johnny was wrong! "Go after Peter! Kill him! No mercy!" Alicia never has to be told this twice, and just says "Okay!" before heading out to publicly eviscerate the father of her children!

Kalinda watches a video of Fife showing off "the Freedom Factory," his new 3D printing facility! Off his comment about not missing "that damn icebox" that was his parents' garage, she gets an idea, and calls Kurt to ask whether he ever tried printing Fife's handgun in a low temperature? Kurt:

GUESS NOT AND MAYBE HIS WIFE WASN'T SO OFF-BASE AFTER ALL!

Eli chokes on his yogurt watching Alicia use her speech to take a bunch of shit about Peter's legacy! He calls Johnny and snaps that he's out of a job! Johnny don't care!

In court, Diane establishes that Fife totally knew there were printing issues in cold temperatures and didn't offer any warning about it on his software!

Nancy offers Summerfeldt a $5 million settlement! His lawyers seem to know Fife doesn't have that kind of money, and she says "interested private individuals" are putting up the money in exchange for his dropping the suit and signing a non-disclosure agreement! If he doesn't, her "mysterious benefactor uses his bounty of treasure to destroy" him! IF THIS TURNS OUT TO BE A CONSORTIUM THAT INCLUDES KURT IN ANY WAY I AM GOING TO BE SO PISSED BECAUSE I SHIP HIM AND DIANE LIKE WHOA!

Alicia visits Louis who, unlike the last time she stopped by, is awake! When she asks whether he's setting her up with this whole Palestine thing, he has NO IDEA what she's even talking about and starts flipping out! She thought he just wanted to do good for his kidney donor! Louis: "When have you ever known me to to good?...Alicia, what the hell, where's my money?!" Smiling ruefully, Alicia assures him that it's with David Lee, but before she leaves, she decides to torment him a little by leaving his phone juuuuuuust out of his reach! What a dick!

Diane's in her office, drinking with her feet up and shoes off, when Kurt comes by! She says she owes him an apology: "I let my political passions drive a wedge between us, and that's never been how we do thing." "True." "Oh, he of few words." SEE, THEY ARE PERFECT. He was thinking they should go away together for a week! She'd love that -- maybe in May, the Amalfi coast? He was thinking tomorrow! She chuckles regretfully, saying she can't go away for a week on such short notice, which he knows! But what about three days deer hunting in Wyoming with the richest men in the country? I guess the richest men in the country have great scotch and nice fireplaces for Diane to read beside because she agrees!

Alicia gets off (heh) the elevator outside her apartment door and sees Johnny standing there! He congratulates her on her speech and checks in that he doesn't need to worry about her supporting Hamas! She can tell there's still something up, and he starts to say he's not good about expressing his feelings, so he doesn't...and when she invites him in, he declines for about one second...

SMELL YOU LATER, GHOST WILL!