The Tonight Show Turns Pictionary Into Torture Porn

For as long as he's been hosting late-night shows on NBC, Jimmy Fallon has been squeezing extra comedy out of his guests by having them participate in televised party games -- which, as a fan of games, I virtually always enjoy. That streak ended last night.

Before we've even met all the participants, I know it's going to be the worst, because the first player introduced is Martin Short, and as we all know, when it comes to games, he has no interest in playing well if doing so might mean he'd have to skip some "comedic" bits that draw all the available attention to himself. (At least when he sucks on The Tonight Show, he's not screwing over a regular person who, if Short gave a shit, might win some actual money.)

Then out comes Jerry Seinfeld and someone with the stage name Miranda Sings. Apparently she is a YouTube star, though if her extremely grating persona on The Tonight Show weren't repellent enough, the video that plays on her YouTube landing page would lead any reasonable person to close the tab IMMEDIATELY. What is that VOICE? Even among YouTube stars -- a category that includes the likes of Tyler Oakley and Shane Dawson -- this seems like an extremely odious representative. Is she really a guest on Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee? Jerry Seinfeld enjoys this character? Apparently she is and he does. If he actually watched more than ten seconds of any of her clips, he should consider seeing an audiologist, because willingly subjecting oneself to that suggests that he may have partial hearing loss.

The worst part is that when Seinfeld takes his turn at the easel, he, like Fallon, is actually not bad at drawing. It's also clear from his increasingly anxious guessing at his partner Miranda's drawing in the first round that he actually likes winning games. So we have two people -- Seinfeld and Fallon -- who take even dumb competition seriously WHICH BY THE WAY IS A PERFECTLY REASONABLE WAY TO LIVE, and two -- "Miranda" and Short -- who are just dicking around wasting everyone's time with their "comedy." The result: eight extremely frustrating minutes of television for at least one insufferable nerd in the audience. ME.

Lots of famous people show up on TV to participate in games, whether on behalf of non-famous normies or to win money for charity. Often, they behave as though the entire enterprise is beneath them because they're too cool, or too self-conscious to put in any effort. Up until last night, I thought that was the worst way for celebrities to behave in such situations. Now I know that FAKE-sucking to be "funny" is a thousand times worse.

I also know who Miranda Sings is, and god, I wish I didn't. Thanks a pantload, Jerry.