Diane Is The Real Winner Of Trophy Wife

Seven episodes into its first season, the very promising Trophy Wife still has its problems -- most of them revolving around Malin Akerman's Kate, as I wrote last week. But there's one thing that's been perfectly right with the show since the pilot: Diane.

One might idly wonder what confluence of events led Pete (Bradley Whitford) to marry Jackie (Michaela Watkins), a free-spirited weirdo with whom he seems to have absolutely nothing in common. But any time we see Diane (Marcia Gay Harden), the attraction is clear. Diane is smart, accomplished, beautiful, and elegant. Maybe her extremely firm hand wasn't so much fun in a marital context; she doesn't seem like the type who would react well to seeing a dirty plate in the sink, never mind on a countertop or, God forbid, coffee table and, in fact, if Pete's insufficient standards of tidiness turn out to have been the cause of their divorce, I would not only understand but empathize. But it's easy to imagine that a younger Pete relished the chance to have a woman like Diane organize his life, and run it right.

The latest episode is a showcase for all the attributes that make Diane great. She has zero compunction about dropping by Kate and Pete's party, mostly on the pretext of getting Hillary's math textbook, but also to judge Kate's entertaining style and find it wanting. She responds to finding an embarrassing photo of herself on "Instant-Gram" by stomping straight over to Meg (Natalie Morales) and demanding its removal. When Meg cockily suggests that they settle the matter with a round of beer pong, Diane agrees, but not before rattling off a list of rules that let us know Diane is a total beer pong shark. And when Meg trips and cuts her face open, Diane stitches her up in the filthy bathroom, informing Meg that she will only use her no-scar stitch technique if Meg promises not to post any more photos of Diane or her children on social media, because Diane is both ethical and self-interested.

The past couple of episodes have featured plotlines about Jackie and her wish to find a new mate, culminating last night with her random party hookup with Pete's colleague Sad Steve (Nat Faxon). This is a development that Kate and Pete are very invested in, primarily because they hope it will mean Jackie spends less of her time with them. But, as yet, there has been no talk of Diane similarly moving on, which makes total sense to me -- not only because no man could possibly be good enough for her, but because Diane clearly doesn't need a man to fix what's wrong with her life because nothing is wrong with her life. It's like when that weird story hit about Martha Stewart getting on Match.com. Why? Her dogs and cats and horses and crafts aren't enough for her? Where would she even put a dude if she had one?!

The revelation that Diane is a beer pong shark was my favourite thing about the latest episode, and made me excited for similar future revelations about Diane's areas of secret mastery. Is she great at dancing? Welding? Archery? I am pretty much convinced that Diane is great at everything she's ever tried, and if marriage is the one exception, it seems clear to me that it's because Pete was fundamentally unworthy.