Hidden Gems Of The No-No List

The dynamic between Jake and Boyle has always been somewhat akin to...well, this.

Which is why, when the two get assigned to a stakeout together, they're pretty sure it's going to go great. Others might get cabin fever and turn on each other, but Boyle and Jake never fight! They're so certain they know how to handle the forced confinement that they even come up with a gentlemanly way to settle their differences: they'll each make a list of the annoying things the other does, and just not do those very few things.

Except: once started, the list kind of metastasizes. Boyle adds beatboxing, laborious pull-ups, and "letting it mellow" to Jake's list. Jake objects to Boyle's rhyming, yoga, vigorous rubbing of his butt cheeks to prevent the bullet holes in it from stiffening up, and "lady-style towels."

Before long, the list fills up an entire wall...so, for posterity, here it is, along with some of the items that didn't make it into the action in the episode.

Jake's No-Nos

• no action movie reenactments
• no parkour
• no De Niro or Walken impressions
• no "dandruff blizzards"
• no neck cracking
• no air saxophone
• no saying "been done"
• no saying "noice"
• no using jerky as toothbrush
• no complaining about "not seeing The Wire"
• no red wedding
• no spoilers
• no feet on my memory pillow
• no basketball pregnancies

Boyle's No-Nos

• no rhythmic gymnastics
• no "coping"
• no gasps while reading
• no finger quotes
• no eyelash wishes
• no "I Spy"
• no talking about your bullet holes
• no pig latin
• no saying "Uni"
• no forts
• no baths
• NO "LES MIS"

Though they eventually make peace, if Boyle and Jake ever have to go on a stakeout again, maybe they should take a page from Diaz and Holt's book.