Nobody Gets Married In Vegas
The more time a TV episode spends setting up a Las Vegas elopement, the less likely the wedding is to take place and/or stick. On Will & Grace, Karen (Megan Mullally) spent a whole episode compromising elements of her wedding to Lyle (John Cleese) before realizing during the reception that it wasn't going to work and announcing that they would get divorced. On Friends, Monica (Courteney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) interpreted numerous signs and portents to mean that they should get married during a visit to the city, only to change their minds at the last second; by contrast, Ross (David Schwimmer) and Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) spent that whole episode feuding, only to surprise the viewer with an impetuous drunken ending to send the season off with a nice "what the hell now?" cliffhanger. But last night's Degrassi Las Vegas wedding special (or should I say "Las Vegas," because holy balls were those bad greenscreens) hewed much more closely to a different TV episode in which people seemed like they were going to get married in Las Vegas and then totally didn't. Let's get into it.
Who Did It First?
The Beverly Hills, 90210 episode "And I Did It...My Way" aired November 10, 1993. Nineteen years, one month, and four days later, Degrassi aired "Las Vegas (Parts 1 and 2)."
Winner: Beverly Hills, 90210.
Who Did It More Dramatically?
The common story is that a couple -- Brenda (Shannen Doherty) and Stuart (David Gail) on 90210; Bianca (Alicia Josipovic) and Drew (Luke Bilyk) on Degrassi -- wants to make their commitment official despite the objections of their families, ending with a confrontation at the wedding chapel. In the former case, the members of the couple were surrounded only by their peers, who were playing along like they thought the elopement was the coolest thing ever, since if they'd tried to talk her out of it, the perversely stubborn Brenda would have definitely gone through with the wedding out of spite; in the latter, Drew's mother Audra (Ramona Milano) storms in to stop the ceremony.
Winner: Degrassi. Mom trumps Steve Sanders any day of the week.
Who Made It More Believable?
90210 actually filmed in Las Vegas (ham-fisted product placement and all); since the Katie (Chloe Rose) storyline involved her using a fake ID to play blackjack at a casino, even if the show had the budget to shoot in Vegas, probably no casino would have granted permission. There's also the matter of Katie's crew easily changing their hotel and flight reservations from Mexico to Las Vegas so that producers could create a contrivance that would put them in Bianca and Drew's path and therefore at the wedding. Finally, after calling off the wedding, Drew re-proposes in front of all his friends and family in a quasi-flash mob situation (and Bianca accepts); Audra approves of the match again, despite the kids' brazen deceptions.
Winner: Beverly Hills, 90210.
Whose Stakes Were Higher?
Even though Brenda and Stuart shouldn't get married any more than Drew and Bianca should, at least Stuart and Brenda are college-aged. Stupid Bianca and Drew are still in high school (or, at least, she is; Drew the idiot has dropped out). Furthermore, even though Brenda's parents disapprove of the haste with which Brenda and Stuart's relationship has progressed, his parents are into it; Audra -- the only decent parent either member of the couple has -- really wants them to wait.
Winner: Degrassi.
Whose Outcome Was More Satisfying?
The way the 90210 episode ends makes it seem like Brenda and Stuart are going to break up amicably, which makes sense and feels right under the circumstances, particularly for those of us who know that Brenda is destined to end up with Dylan (Luke Perry); many episodes later, it turns out they have actually been together all along and are technically still engaged -- she still has the ring, anyway -- but that is clear retcon. Would two dumb teenagers like Drew and Bianca really get through this high-drama wedding fail and stay a couple at all, never mind re-up with a new, non-secret engagement?!
Winner: Beverly Hills, 90210. No one should plan to stay with their Grade 12 boyfriend/girlfriend forever.
So...Who Wrote It Better?
The way events unspool on 90210 proceeds logically and feels inevitable based on what we know about Brenda, who at this point in the series run was well established as a generally unreasonable bitch who makes it practically impossible for anyone to be friends with her. Partly, the suspense comes from seeing whether her obstinacy will overcome her friends' attempt to save her from herself, and partly from our own wish to see her make yet another dumb, self-destructive decision. But with Degrassi, the cast is so big that it's harder to get invested in any of them -- we watch for the plot, not the deep characterizations -- so no one really cares that much whether Drew and Bianca get married, especially when the likelihood that they will seems so, so remote.
Winner: Beverly Hills, 90210.