Photo: Janette Pellegrini / Bravo
'I Don't Want To Have To Find Another Teacher And Pretend My Son Is Five'
Marisa is raising Austen to be the best, most talented, happiest kid alive, whether he likes it or not.
- I think my son could be president. It would be great if he could get into Congress, or be a senator, or a judge. We have to keep him on the straight and narrow. We have to make sure that he excels in school, becomes the president of his class, and just being the leader of everything he does.
- I knew he was a keeper. And you still are. [kiss]
That's nice.
And he gave me the most amazing son! - We really have to work on your penmanship. Otherwise, you're not going to have breakfast.
I wanted to do breakfast!
No. You have to write your name for me. - See, you are the smartest in the world. Do you know that? I think you're going to run the country one day.
I'd like to give him his breakfast now.
Nooooo, not until he finishes. He can eat later. Trust me. - You know what? I don't think you did good. Sorry, sir. No breakfast. Do it again.
- As long as he's enjoying it, and as long as he's okay with it--
No, no no no. Even if he's not enjoying it, you need to push a kid these days. Andre Agassi started playing tennis at four, and look where he went.
His father pushed him and made him do it, and he hated it every step of the way.
And you know what? Who cares. Who cares if he doesn't like me one day?
His father pushed him too hard!
Doesn't matter. You know what? He's so successful and has a fantastic life now. - Don't worry about it, he'll be fine. ...So we'll put him in therapy if we have to. Don't worry.
- I am a chiropractor, and I'm also a personal trainer. Can't you tell?
- I know, like, this is all fun and games and everything, but if he excels in something, which I know he will, do you do, like, private coaching?
I never tell parents that they have to sign up for private lessons. If it's at your request, you call the camp, say, "You know what, this is what my son likes"--
Or what Mommy likes. - I see basketball! Who's the best in basketball?
Me!
Who's the best in all sports?
Me!
That's right! - Basketball's your sport! And swimming. And tennis, probably, too, right, if he's going to be so tall?
All right, so this is ONE of our preschool and kindergarten sports areas.... - Austen's worried about sinking, but I don't like him to show weakness in front of anyone.
- Today's the day that my son becomes the champion of all obstacle courses.
- Austen is worried about sinking, but my son is going to be 6'8". Let's just think about the wingspan of a young man who's going to be 6'8". He could be Michael Phelps. He could be in the Olympics one day.
- My brother Harrison loves Austen. I think they bond on the sports level, because my brother is fantastic in every sport he's tried, just like my son.
- Look, I understand that he's probably going to be your only child.
Yes. I mean, I want another one, but Jeff says he's done!
Right. So all your hopes and dreams are tied up in this guy, but there are only seven afternoons in a week.
Yeah, but on the weekend I can double up. - So our goal for the summer is to challenge him to start camp swimming without a vest.
Okaaaaaaaay. He's four, right? He's not even--
He's four, but he's tall like Jeff, so you treat him like he's six? Maybe? - I know that last summer he was new to the pool, and you treated him like a baby, but now I'd love him to be, like, the leader, and that everyone thinks he's the best swimmer, and I just want him to be the star of camp.
I want this to be about him, and what he's capable of doing.
Nooooo, let's think about what I want for him. - We gotta get past that he's still four.
- I've created a bond with him, and I just don't want him to ever resent me.
But if you're not doing what I want you to do, then obviously I'm going to have to bypass you. I don't want to have to find another teacher and pretend my son is five. - The truth is, I don't care about the bond. I want him to be the child who swims better than anyone!
- I was captain of cheerleading, and because of it, people resented me, and my mother would always tell me, "People are acting this way because they're jealous of you. This is going to be your life, you have to get used to it." And that's the way I am with Austen. If someone's going to say something negative to him, I've taught him to say, "So what."
- You know, I think you should come to this lecture with me. I think you'd really enjoy it. It's on competitive parenting?
Oh, I'm there!
You're there, right?
Yeah! I wanna know the rule book, how to get my child into an Ivy League college, dot. That's all I want to know. - I think people judge me because they're jealous. They're judging thiiiiiiis [indicates face and body], and they're judging our lifestyle, but let's see whose children are more successful, and let's see who's getting into a better college. Then you can tell me I did too much.
- This lecture on competitive parenting: it's not what I thought. I think the doctor is naive about how competitive it is out there.
- How do you know when you're doing too much?
Is he in some kind of preschool or...?
Yes, he is, and he's in tons of activities, and everyone tells me that he's the happiest child.
He doesn't have to be the happiest -- just happy is good.
I've heard he's the happiest, though.
Okay.