Putting A Voice To The Face

Face Off is back! Already! But there's a twist: it's a season specially designed to please viewers who love twists! Let's find out how much of this first hour you need to watch.

Kickoff Scene-Setting Introductory Setup

Some will say it's counter-intuitive to skip the very first segment of the very first episode of Face Off's very first "Battle Of The Champions." But trust me, this is a lot of blah-blah and very little meat. The facetestants show up at some warehouse or hangar or something, where they're greeted by an image of McKenzie on an enormous screen, followed immediately by her coming out in the flesh, so what even was the point of the Apple 1984 ad premise? McKenzie goes on to tell the new class of would-be effects designers how this season is going to be different: it's a Battle Of The Champions, which is bringing back Season 2 winner Rayce; Season 4 winner Anthony; and Season 3 finalist-turned-Season 5 winner Laura. While all the new contestants are competing against each other in the usual way, the returning champions will also be competing against one another, because each of them is going to head up a team of designers. If one of the designers from a champion's team wins, that champion also wins (although what said champion "wins" may just be glory?). If the champion's whole team of designers gets eliminated, that champion's out too (although, again, all this may mean is shame?). All of the champions look super-nervous and awkward like they've never been on TV before, so I hope they get their feet back under them soon if we're supposed to get excited about them; right now their awkward stiffness is making me uncomfortable and several of the facetestants are already more dynamic than they are.

Foundation Challenge

McKenzie explains that the new facetestants are going to get the chance to impress the champions with a quick two-hour Foundation Challenge. The show's producers have picked one past winning design from each champion -- Rayce's cellist from a Tim Burton challenge; Anthony's bioluminescent character; and Laura's Mother Earth -- and the facetestants have to design a companion look inspired by one of those past looks. If there's a lot of angling for the new contestants to align themselves at this early stage with any of the champions in order to kiss up for a spot on his or her team, we don't see it; in fact, some of the newbies seem like they just find a model and a chair and then look up to see which past design they ended up under. (Exception noted: Gregory, who may have come on the show to try to make Laura fall in love with him.)

Intercut with (stilted) commentary from the champions, we get very quick thumbnail introductions to the fifteen new aspirants, and it's the usual mix of semi-professionals and enthusiastic amateurs. A few notables:

• Emily is, at eighteen, the show's youngest contestant ever and a cosmetology student.
• Both Logan and Ben are military veterans who've transitioned into this work after their service.
• Regina has studied under S6 contestant Graham.
• Alan, at 6'5", is often called to be a monster performer as well as a makeup artist.
• Darla got into effects makeup directly as a result of having been a Face Off viewer.
• Since there's also a contestant named Anthony, to differentiate him from the champion/team leader, I'm going to call the new guy Anthony Jr.

Other than the intros, nothing much happens here except for a brief pre-commercial cliffhanger in which Logan is having trouble making "laser lines" stick on his guy.

After the ads, the judges comment that his all-black paint job is kind of dark (that's the kind of insight I expect -- nay, demand! -- from past champions on a makeup effects show!), but Logan figures out on his own that he should highlight it with silver and things apparently work out fine in the end.

Foundation Judging And Team Picks

After a surprise announcement that Ve is here -- hi, Ve! -- the champions plus Ve tour the facetestants' looks. Because there are still one million of them, we only see critiques of two aspirants per "inspiration," none of which are bad -- not even those of Anthony Jr....

...and Gregory...

...who both did Father Time off Laura's Mother Earth design, and who both went badly wrong in completely different ways. After Rayce lies that they're all potential winners, the champions start picking, their order (Laura, Rayce, Anthony) apparently having been determined by random draw. Gregory, Laura's #1 fan, fortunately makes it onto her team, so the wall of photos he has of her back home in North Carolina is going to be growing with the addition of all the shots they can take together! When the dust settles, the teams are as follows:

Team Anthony

• Kelly
• Alan
• Daniel
• Ben
• Jamie

Team Laura

• Stephanie
• Darla
• Gregory
• Julian
• Emily

Team Rayce

• Adam
• Anthony Jr.
• Logan
• Rob
• Regina

Also, Ve gets to grant the top designer immunity in the first Spotlight Challenge: it comes down to Rob...

...and Darla...

...with Darla taking the title with her cellist-inspired design. Way to bring it home for the fans, Darla!

This is a skip because...there are still, like, WAY too many of them to get very excited about how things shake out here -- plus the fact that they only got two hours for this challenge means that even the top looks aren't really super-awesome.

Moving In

It's the same house as every other season I've watched. It's nice. Everyone's excited.

Spotlight Challenge

The facetestants (minus the champions, who I guess couldn't cover their shifts at their day jobs today) meet McKenzie at the famous Vasquez Rocks -- where, as they come around the bend, one of them notes the sight of a "gorgeous flowing white ponytail," which is, of course, attached to seven-time Oscar-winning effects designer Rick Baker. Everyone is super-psyched at the sight of him -- particularly Rob, who gets a little emotional. McKenzie says they're at this "otherworldly landscape" to find out the brief for their first Spotlight Challenge: there are three alien crash sites, and each team will choose one and, based on the evidence left behind, design two alien characters who would have emerged from the wreckage. Rick Baker will both judge the results and consult on their designs, and starts them off with "Just because you can do anything doesn't mean that you should. I would like to see a nice clean, well-thought-out design that I recognize as something that's definitely alien -- you know, something like Glenn Hetrick." SHAAAAAADE. Team Laura ends up with slimy alien eggs; Team Anthony, aircraft; Team Rayce, a cryogenic pod and some crystals.

Team Anthony has barely started when they're joined by Rick, so as the facetestants try to keep cool while they offer him their very preliminary thoughts, he advises that even though they have this aircraft to work off, helmets are a cop-out if you can't see creatures' faces. Moving on to Team Rayce, who've posited an "alien drunk driver," he learns that they're thinking about some kind of king scorpion/spider/grasshopper look for their creatures. Rick likes it and has little to add, but we see from this snippet that Adam is clearly the team's alpha. Finally, Team Laura is working off the eggs to make aquatic creatures that are "smooth and slimy." Rick name-drops Barry Sonnenfeld, director of the Men In Black movies, to say that he always tries to do aliens without eyes or mouths, only to be pulled back by Sonnenfeld because then viewers won't have anything to look at. I don't think anyone was going to do eyeless, mouthless designs, but we get it, you have famous friends.

Sculpting Phase

The facetestants are reunited with their team leaders at the lab, which is full of products and Kryolan product placement. This is the champions' first chance to weigh in on the concepts, so if you're keeping track, this means the facetestants have had to take into account one another's ideas, and Rick's, and now their captains'.

Michael Visits

AND NOW MICHAEL'S, TOO. Michael is actually very complimentary of everyone's work except that of Anthony Jr. "You have a big sculpting background?" Michael asks. Anthony Jr.'s like, "Yeah." Michael:

After Michael leaves, Rayce and Anthony Jr. consult, and agree that Anthony Jr. should just start over.

Molding Phase

Despite the title screen, it looks like only Ben and Jamie have arrived at the molding phase on this first of three days, and...wait a minute, this is a three-day challenge? The hour's almost over! What the hell?!

Cliffhanger Twist!

When the facetestants plus champions return for Day 2, they find all their work cleared out of the lab and replaced by three monkeys, because there's a twist that even the champions didn't know about: it turns out that the aliens crashed on a primate planet, and those primates are pissed. Now the teams have to choose one of these three simians as inspiration to inspire a third creature. Everyone flips shit!

Verdict

Yes, a skip for the premiere -- because it's only half a premiere, and the rest is definitely going to be recapped at the top of next week's episode before the actual business of the show (the Reveal Stage, judging, and the season's first cut) finally happens. Fun to see Rick Baker and his ponytail, though!