Does Jamie Actually HEAR Herself When She Talks?

Does Jamie actually hear herself when she talks?

I know it's a cliché to say that a person on a reality show is fake. BUT JAMIE IS SO FAKE. "We have this great sex life," first of all, is what people who have a terrible sex life say. (And a bag of lingerie from a bin at Filene's Basement -- including a bra through which nipples will apparently be visible -- is such a basic gift!) It's not that I doubt that she really wants to get pregnant yesterday, even though she acknowledges that their financial situation is not great, and even though she says she can tell Doug backs off the subject every time she brings it up, but "I don't care, I'm going to make him talk about it." It's that the way she brings it up is so stilted and awkward that it has the stink of producer intervention all over it. Jamie is so single-minded in her pursuit of Doug's baby goo, in fact, that the more she talks about wanting to get pregnant, the more it seems like she came on Married At First Sight not to meet a husband, but to lock down a sperm donor. As I said last week, what we've seen of Jamie's particular strain of baby fever is completely self-centered, with Doug's fitness for fatherhood a total afterthought. When he's been home for five seconds and a completely banal mention of how his day at work went segues to her asking if he's making money so that they can have babies, it's proof either that she's been ordered to do so by someone off-camera, or else she is a sociopath with a complete lack of empathy.

Has no one ever taught Doug OR Jamie table manners?

Stop chewing with your mouths open. Stop talking with food in your mouths. Just stop.

Was this necessary?

Thanks a lot, show, now I'm celibate for life.

If Cortney's home alone all the time, why can't she unpack?

I can empathize with Cortney's feeling that she's lost touch with the person she was before she got married because her life seems like it's so out of control that she can't even do her burlesque -- which by the way is a loss for CULTURE, not just for her personally. But speaking as someone who's just moved houses (and states): I guarantee that she'll feel better about being on top of things once she organizes herself. Also, they live in one room. How long could it even take. Get your shit together, Cortney.

How fucking sketchy is this story about how Cortney came to lose her job?

"So long story short -- I'm trying to, like, give you, like a nice way to put this: basically, they want to, like, have some new blood in there, do, like, a little refreshing in the office, and I'm not going to be there anymore....Like, in the next couple of weeks? I'm going to be, like, training a replacement?" Also, in a TH: "But then, enter Jason, and I wasn't there as much?" Back to what she says to Jason: "It's not that I'm getting fired? It's that I'm kind of being encouraged to leave."

Here's my best guess at how to interpret that string of nonsense: Cortney's employer was so sick of her shit that her manager offered her some kind of severance lump just to get rid of her so that they wouldn't have to deal with her filing for unemployment officially. On the other hand, judging by the fact that Cortney is multiple kinds of broke and was formerly living behind a sheet suspended from the ceiling in what was MAYBE a one-bedroom, I would have assumed that she was still officially freelancing with no kind of job security and no benefits, so I don't get why, if she started having a whole bunch of "sick days," they didn't just straight-up fire her. THIS STORY HAS A LOT OF HOLES.

If they're so broke, why are Jason and Cortney shopping for a couch?

I think we're getting a good idea of why Cortney came into this marriage with so many money problems!

Is Fire Academy actually as hard as Jason makes it out to be, or is Jason just dumb?

I think it's the latter. I mean, he was already an EMT before he started firefighter training: wouldn't all that medical shit have been harder to learn?

Did Dr. Pepper say one thing to Jason and Cortney that wasn't extremely obvious common sense?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: ditch the therapists. They are adding nothing.

Does anyone here care about Monet dating?

I definitely do not.