A Horny Claire Is Very Unsettling

If I didn't know it was impossible, I would think that Modern Family producers had been reading this feature, because HOLY COW, Claire (Julie Bowen) was all over her husband in last night's episode. We learn early on that Claire and Phil (Ty Burrell) have not Done It since Black Friday, so when Jay (Ed O'Neill) takes the whole Pritchett clan to Palm Springs for New Year's Eve, she turns into a total nymphomaniac. Whereas a suggestive look like the one above would be enough to power the average episode, last night it was the least horny thing she did. It was followed shortly thereafter by a kiss she initiated.

Then she and Phil go out in search of a hot spring they've heard tell of, holding hands.

She tells Phil in so many words that she wants to have sex with him. Kissing ensues.

We then leave the Dunphys, until after they've ended the dry spell.

Let's end our story here, before their pleasant interlude is ruined by the arrival of what appears to be the entire Palm Springs nudist community. Happy new year, Phil!