Photo: Timothy White / E!
Jobs Chelsea Handler's Not Going To Get
CBS's double rejection of her campaign to weasel onto its late-night schedule is just the beginning!
- hosting The Late Show
- hosting The Late Late Show
- host of a new late-night show on NBC that somehow airs after Carson Daly's show
- host of the White House Correspondents Dinner
- replacing Barbara Walters on The View
- replacing Philip Seymour Hoffman in Mockingjay
- replacing Josh Charles on The Good Wife
- replacing Stephen Colbert on a version of The Colbert Report
- replacing Margo Martindale on The Americans
- replacing anyone who's been killed on Game Of Thrones
- guest star in any role on Mad Men
- vocal lead in Disney's next animated musical
- Victoria's Secret "Angel"
- brand ambassador for cotton
- brand ambassador for Peeps
- brand ambassador for Blu e-cigarettes
- designer of a signature line of furniture and home goods for Kohl's
- Steve Carell's wife in any Steve Carell project
- face of Michigan tourism
- Cannes Film Festival jury member
- editor of Vogue
- editor of Grantland
- Phoenix city councilwoman
- head of the actuarial department at Allstate
- president of NYU
- Cardinal for the Boston Archdiocese
- the next Catwoman
- Hillary Clinton's running mate