Amber Behind Bars Is Something MTV Thinks We Want To See
I will watch some real garbage. I will watch as many shows about hoarders as TV producers care to come up with. I will watch any show on Discovery Health that features graphic footage of foreign objects either going into or being surgically removed from skulls, eye sockets, throats, spleens -- whatever. I will watch every TLC show about extreme cheapskates, virgins, collectors, Amish, and "addicts" that are probably faking it. But even I have a line, and the following show has crossed it.
An audience's willingness to -- nay, delight in -- judging strangers is the basis for probably 90% of the reality-show premises networks buy each year, and as such, the 16 And Pregnant/Teen Mom franchise has been a great/shameful success story for MTV. These shows feature all the elements a judgmental dick (hi) looks for in a reality show: terrible choices and their consequences; fights; makeover "before"s; and, above all, bad parenting the viewer can feel smug about from her safe remove. Then Amber Portwood got arrested for getting into a physical altercation with Gary Shirley, the father of her daughter Leah -- and things only got worse: CPS got involved and Amber's parental rights were proscribed and she went to rehab. In fact, Amber's problems were so grave that the production of Teen Mom couldn't continue...because she chose to end her out-patient rehab and serve a five-year prison term instead. I can't speak for anyone else, but all the turmoil really ruined my judgy fun, and by the time the Teen Mom series finale aired last month, I was pretty ready for it to be done.
The fact that Russell Brand has hosted the VMAs more than once is proof that MTV can't leave well (bad) enough alone, but the network's latest programming brainstorm is, if you can believe it, even more unfortunate: on Tuesday, October 9, MTV will air Amber Behind Bars: An MTV Special. According to a press release, MTV's sending Dr. Drew Pinsky -- who else? -- to sit down with Amber in prison and pry into all her affairs.
I don't blame Amber for agreeing to the special; anyone who's seen the show knows that she doesn't come from a wealthy background, and no doubt her family will appreciate the income she'll earn for her appearance. (I'm less forgiving of Pinsky, who is a grown man with several TV shows on the air and whose credibility as a clinician is eroding by the day, such that he should maybe look into taking a few workshops to bolster his skills and leave this unfortunate young woman alone.) And fans of Teen Mom will definitely watch to get a sense of her current mental state and catch up on the status of her relationship with Gary, so MTV has an understandable reason for airing the interview.
The reason I -- the most judgmental person you will ever encounter -- can't bring myself to watch is that I don't need the logical progression of reality-show stardom spelled out for me like this. It's sad enough when Lindsay Lohan -- who was once an actually likable, promising performer -- squanders her potential for all the usual reasons; at least she was in the public eye because she was making her living with her talents. Amber Portwood was just an unlucky girl who was offered an opportunity to improve her circumstances a little by being on a reality show, and look how things ended up. We'll never know whether she'd have followed the same trajectory if she hadn't been on TV, but at least in that case she'd have been less likely to get her home vandalized by strangers, since fewer of those would have had occasion to know all her intimate business.
Don't get me wrong: I watch the show, so I know Amber is not a good person. But it also seems like she hasn't had a lot of advantages in life that would have steered her toward doing or being better. Lots of us make bad decisions, but most of us won't have to pay for them with our freedom, and even fewer of those will have to defend themselves to the public by getting interviewed by a smarmy dickhole like Dr. Drew.
The fact that this special even exists is making me empathize with Amber Portwood, which is probably what upsets me the most, and I just can't, with this.